by J. R. Practix

Abuse: (n.) 1. to use something to bad effect or for a bad purpose. 2. to treat a person or an animal with cruelty or violence.

It was that second definition that stalled me–the words “cruelty” and “violence.”

It is so easy to go on a tirade against abuse and proclaim that such actions are dangerous, evil and dark. I have just learned over the years the futility of stumping against bad attitudes and horrible actions without looking for the specter of that same vice in myself.

Even though I would never put on a pair of army boots and stomp baby ducks for pleasure, nor would I strike a woman because she failed to fulfill my expectations, the seeds of cruelty and the hint of violence can still slip into my behavior and be justified by me just as easily as the wife-beater explains how he needed to slap her because she was being so stupid.

What is abuse?

You want my definition? Abuse is when we fail to deliver to people what they truly need, but insist that they accept what we have anyway.

There you go.

• So I think politics can be abusive. It doesn’t provide the laws that enrich the lives of people or promote the common good, yet still insists that we go to the polls and vote as our American duty.
• I think religion can be abusive. It preaches that we should be grateful for a heaven that will come at the end of our lives as we patiently accept the slings and arrows that bruise and beat us in the present.
• I think corporations are abusive when they know they could make a better product for a few more pennies, but they refuse to sacrifice miniscule percentages points of profit margin.
• And I think the entertainment industry is abusive when it continues to pound us with more violence and meaningless sexual content because it innocently profiles itself as a reflection of reality.

Abuse is tricky. It’s so easy to see when watching a television show, as a man strikes a woman in anger, but not so easy to see when a joke is told around a game of poker with five friends–to the degrading of the female of our species.

If I can’t help somebody, I shouldn’t make them put up with my inadequacy. If I do, it’s abusive.

My dear God, I need to work on that. How about you?