Annuity: (n) a fixed sum of money paid to someone each year, typically for the rest of his or her life.

In my saner moments–in other words, when I’m more sane–I actually come to conclusions that are factual instead of impudent.

Because when I read the definition of “annuity,” I thought how wonderful it would be to have somebody who would present me with a check on January 1st which would cover my expenses and frivolous notions for an entire calendar year.

Trying to be noble, I would say that this would make me more productive because the fear of financial failure would be lifted from my shoulders.

But then candor enters my tattered soul and I have to admit that this would make me nothing but lazy.

• After all, without a bit of uncertainty, I don’t work as hard.
• Without a tinge of peril to my health, I might stop eating vegetables.
• Without some insecurity about my love relationships, I might doze off on my commitments and cease to be interactive with the kind souls around me.

Yes, even though I don’t want to admit it, I am a better human being because things are occasionally screwed up. Not only are they defiled by my efforts, but many of them are ruined by my friends, associates and just flukes of nature.

I become more proficient and appreciative because I have to adjust and correct errors. Sometimes jubilance comes to my heart because I have miraculously figured out how to make ten dollars work like twelve.

Without this, I become a “kept man,” a prisoner to the generosity of others instead of the beneficiary of my own talent.

So even though I am not so virtuous as to turn down such an annuity if it was offered to me (hint, hint) I am fully prepared on this lovely day, to concede … that I am better off without it. 

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix