Cyst

Cyst: (n) a closed sac formed within the body tissues containing fluid or pus

What is truly magnificent about the human body is its ability to not only perform necessary and intricate functions, but also to warn us of pending difficulty by sending off signals that are nearly impossible to misinterpret.

It’s like a sense of dread.

I’ve had this happen a few times in my life.

Once I was stung by a jellyfish down in Guaymas, Mexico, on the ocean, and my whole network of nerves and cells sounded a signal to my brain:

“This is serious shit.”

Now, I’ve had times when I believed I was in serious trouble, and my mind decided to imitate the warning message, but by morning I usually found out it was just a big bag of gas.

About fifteen years ago, I got a cyst.

I did not know it was a cyst. It was located in a place where the sun doesn’t shine, and visitation was problematic.

I immediately knew it was serious but went through four or five days of denial. I was convinced I could weather the discomfort, the soreness and the swelling. I even went outside and tried to “walk it off.” Yes, I walked about a mile, as fast as I could, until my body circulated so much blood flow that I convinced myself the pain was gone and I was all well.

But about thirty minutes later, I was not only engulfed in discomfort, but suspected I had made my situation worse.

I finally broke down and went to the doctor. He was unimpressed. He was convinced I had some sort of cellulitis. He was one of those medical professionals who thinks that all illness befalls patients because of their laziness, diet or lack of hygiene.

So the only treatment he offered was to place a heating pad under my backside near my ever-increasing soreness.

Much to the surprise of the doctors and nurses, about an hour later, my cyst burst and gave birth to a mess.

Suddenly, the diagnosis changed.

Because it was an unknown wound with unclear determinations, my room was quarantined, and nurses had to come in dressed like Muslim women going to Ramadan.

Twenty-four hours later they operated on me. I was warned that if the cyst had spread deeper into my body tissues, they might have to cut out parts of my bowels and even some other fond portions of my manly being.

This was unacceptable to me.

But blessed as I occasionally am, I came out of the operation minus my cysts (turned out there were two of them) and with all my vitals intact.

If you’re looking for a guideline for health, realize that how you feel tells you much more than how you look, or sometimes even more than what a medical professional might presume.

Listen to those voices.

If you’re really in trouble, there are little “town criers” inside you that start screaming, “All is not well! All is not well!”

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Crystal Meth

Crystal meth: (Slang) methamphetamine in powder or crystalline form.

Everything that’s not a vitamin, mineral or nutrient seems to take the same journey of acceptance or rejection in our social structure.

You would think that over the years we would learn to change the format, but for some reason, it works as follows:

  1. Drug is discovered
  2. Drug is experimented with by individuals
  3. Drug is abused
  4. Drug creates addiction
  5. Rehabilitation is necessary
  6. Drug is banned or severely restricted
  7. Drug is considered for medical purposes

Now, does anyone else see a flaw in this process? Because whether you’re a deist or an atheist, you can still accept the fact that the Earth has a certain guarantee of being self-contained. In other words, the problems that abide normally have solutions on this planet if we will research and find the conclusions.

There is no mysterious cure for cancer waiting for us on the Planet Mars.

It’s here—we just haven’t found it yet. But one of the reasons we haven’t found it is that we continue to accept the word “recreational” and the word “drug” to be linked.

We are so obsessed with our own pleasure that we don’t take care of our pain.

Aside from being ridiculous, it ends up being dangerous.

Crystal meth is one of those procedures—a chemical reaction which has been revealed, and may, in the future, prove to be a healing agent, but in the interim, like morphine drugs, is being used to hurt people instead of heal them.

What would happen if we took everything the Earth has to offer and investigated how it could improve our health instead of wondering whether two hits of it will make us sufficiently loopy?

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C



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Conversation

Conversation: (n) informal interchange of thoughts, information, etc., by spoken words; oral communication between persons

I guess I’m trying to understand Mr. Webster’s inclusion of the word “informal” in relationship to “conversation.”

I surmise that he might be thinking that a conversation is different from a discussion, because the minute it becomes a discussion it has an funny wisdom on words that begin with a Cagenda, or at least a main subject. And a discussion transforms into a debate if the two people talking are in disagreement, becoming an argument when each person is determined to stick to his or her guns, trying to convert the other person.

My problem with a conversation is that it often becomes two human beings reciting their resumes to one another, allowing time for the other one to counter with similar information. In other words, “How are your kids doing?” Space of time, space of time, space of time…

Now it’s my turn. “This is how my kids are doing.” Space of time, space of time, space of time…

Because of the social media craze in our world, even the discourses we have with each other live and in person have begun to resemble Facebook with verbal posts.

To me, that’s not a conversation. A conversation is best defined, I believe, by the idea that two people get together yearning for fellowship and hungry for fresh insight.

It’s not a series of soliloquies in which we hope the other person is listening, but rather, dialogue peppered with questions, some indecision, observations and enough incompleteness that the other party feels comfortable contributing.

Conversation is the absence of the deadly five questions:

  1. How are you?
  2. What have you been doing lately?
  3. How are the kids?
  4. Health been excellent?
  5. What’s going on with the job?

If you can avoid these five questions religiously, you can sit down and have an actual conversation, which can turn out to be truly spiritual.

 

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Contradiction

Contradiction: (n) assertion of the contrary or opposite; denial.

Inerrant.

Infallible.

These are words that were presented to me in the early days of my faith to describe the Bible. It was my lot to accept the inerrancy and the infallibility of the Word of God.

I am also led to believe that a two-party system is the best form of politics, three branches of government are a superior way to express democracy, and that it is kale, not oat bran, possessing the greatest health benefit

We live in a world of uncertainty, containing a degree of chaos to help promote the evolution that makes life progress.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Yet I am instructed that certain holy sanctuaries of thinking are without contradiction and need no addendum whatsoever. It is, of course, impossible to believe that someone who wrote down their thoughts six thousand years ago would have the exact same mindset as someone who wrote them down four thousand years later minus any contradiction to an individual sitting here right now, writing to you today.

There are contradictions. It’s what makes life worth living. If everything were written in stone, then we would be crushed by the weight of the severity.

But the Earth is ever-moving toward solution. Mother Nature is continually cleansing herself of the unnecessary. And God chooses grace rather than law.

It is our responsibility to realize that the only immutable point which cannot be contradicted is “love your neighbor as yourself.”

Everything else is fluff, window dressing, error, passing fancy and first drafts.

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Concern

Concern: (n) anxiety; worry.

Concern is the word we use when we want to establish that we are way too mature to be worried. After all, we are mentally balanced, funny wisdom on words that begin with a C
spiritually enhanced and emotionally stabilized to such an extent that we are able to express concern without, shall we say, losing our shit.

But this week, I have taken inventory of what should truly be concerning and what is merely passing rumor, attempting to generate fear.

I am concerned about my apathy.

It causes me to do ill-advised things for my health and also not be sensitive enough to the health and feelings of others.

I have a concern about my ego.

I’m not always certain when it shows up or if it’s the good guy of my motivation is in control.

I don’t have a concern for my family.

I took my best shot. And if that wasn’t good enough, they have had plenty of time to acquire other shots.

I do have a concern for my country.

Historically, every nation that ceases to have a world vision for the human family becomes obstructive to good will and has to be exterminated.

I have no concern for tomorrow.

There is no tomorrow until I make it.

I do have a concern for death.

I am not one of those verbose, fearless individuals who claims he is not afraid to die. If a vote were taken, I think it’s a horrible idea. Death, that is. But since my vote does not count, let me try to scare it away instead of vice versa.

I have no concern about the existence of God.

If He exists, His comprehension is so far beyond my grasp that any attempt on my part to ascertain His will must come across as a roaring farce at the Pearly Gates.

If He doesn’t exist, I will handle those “grave concerns” when they unearth.

 

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Complement

Complement: (n) a thing that completes or brings to perfection.

The greatest complement to beauty is humility.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

The greatest complement to talent is hard work.

Likewise:

Spirituality…simplicity

Leadership…awareness

Lover…sensitivity

Comedian…vulnerability

Joy…compassion

Education…application

Health…gratitude

Confidence…introspection

Strength…mercy

Speaking…listening

Faith…charity

Hope…endurance

Finding…seeking

And of course, the greatest complement to God is humanity.

 

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Cholesterol

Cholesterol: (n) a compound of the sterol type found in most body tissues

She told me my cholesterol was a little high–“she” being my doctor.

She didn’t seem terribly concerned, but she still had a pill she thought would be jim-dandy to use. I took the pill, came back for my next visit
and my cholesterol was down.

She clapped her hands. She was glad.

I, on the other hand, felt no difference whatsoever.

I’m not trying to put forth the theory that there needs to be a physical or emotional pay-off for every good deed, but it sure helps. For if your cholesterol goes from 212 to 108, you should have some sort of bell that rings.

Maybe your eyelashes get fuller. I’m not asking for much.

Effort and reward. It’s the basis of the theory of human habitation. “If I do this, then I get that. But if I do THAT, then I’ll get THIS.”

I buy into the concept like everyone else.

Supposedly, cholesterol gums up your arteries and increases the possibility of a heart attack. But in a moment of true candor, may we state that what the medical field insists is beneficial in this particular season, will be completely out of fashion by the time autumn arrives.

Being a veteran of “oat bran,” and more recently, “gluten free,” I realize there are things that may be good, but not necessarily essential, and their worth is not equal for all humans.

I wonder why more doctors don’t encourage good cheer. It certainly does give immediate results, and may very well be good for your health

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Bulimia

j-r-practix-with-border-2

Bulimia: (n) an eating disorder

Bulimia just makes me sick to my stomach.

I’m sorry. I know it’s not funny. It’s a serious eating disorder.

But sometimes I wish they would take these serious things and not tempt meDictionary B with humorous images.

Are there positive things about bulimia?

  • You can find a second use for your toothbrush. (I know–once again inappropriate.)
  • It conjures a new definition for take-out food.
  • But mostly, it is a by-product of an obsession we have with being slim.

No one is going to tell you the truth about body weight. Why? Because in doing so, billions of dollars could be lost in commerce for remedies.

How much of your body weight and my body weight is conditioned, pre-determined and affected by genetics?

I saw a lady the other day in the store who was so thin that I was not sure there was a leg inside her skin-tight jeans. But then I saw her glance over at me, with my abundance of human flesh, and produce a sneer.

What have we done to ourselves?

Certainly obesity causes a myriad of health situations. But anorexia, bulimia and trying to live on less nutrition than necessary to sustain our vital organs is equally as dangerous.

I have found that solutions are achieved in a three-step process:

  1. Find the real truth
  2. Stop fighting the real truth
  3. Develop a plan based on the real truth

Until we do this on the subject of weight loss, we will have people literally tearing their insides out to be thin.

 

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Brilliant

j-r-practix-with-border-2

Brilliant: (adj): very bright and radiant.

In deference to my human weakness, I have certainly downgraded some things.Dictionary B

My needed fifteen minutes of aerobic workout every day is now about four-and-a-half minutes. I literally don’t have the heart to do more.

My 1,500-calorie-a-day diet is open to the idea of 2,000.

And my decision to keep better tabs on my overall health is desperately in need of an overhaul.

In like manner, I’ve begun to use the word “brilliant” a whole bunch. Matter of fact, it’s become my default term whenever I run across anyone who’s willing to venture an opinion and take the risk of the criticism of others, or the possibility of failure.

I understand that “brilliant” used to be reserved for concepts which had weathered the storm of practical application and had come out the other end fulfilling requiremernts. But honestly, it takes a lot of courage nowadays just to experiment instead of standing on the sideline sneering at those who do.

We’ve become a nation of “judgers,” quickly losing anything to evaluate because no one is willing to train to become a participant. If they do, we are so certain of our expertise that we riddle them with bullets of complaints, dragging their depressed egos into shallow graves for internment.

It has become brilliant just to be willing.

It is brilliant to believe things can be better

And it is most brilliant to be prepared to be part of the solution.

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Annuity

dictionary with letter A

Annuity: (n) a fixed sum of money paid to someone each year, typically for the rest of his or her life.

In my saner moments–in other words, when I’m more sane–I actually come to conclusions that are factual instead of impudent.

Because when I read the definition of “annuity,” I thought how wonderful it would be to have somebody who would present me with a check on January 1st which would cover my expenses and frivolous notions for an entire calendar year.

Trying to be noble, I would say that this would make me more productive because the fear of financial failure would be lifted from my shoulders.

But then candor enters my tattered soul and I have to admit that this would make me nothing but lazy.

  • After all, without a bit of uncertainty, I don’t work as hard.
  • Without a tinge of peril to my health, I might stop eating vegetables.
  • Without some insecurity about my love relationships, I might doze off on my commitments and cease to be interactive with the kind souls around me.

Yes, even though I don’t want to admit it, I am a better human being because things are occasionally screwed up. Not only are they defiled by my efforts, but many of them are ruined by my friends, associates and just flukes of nature.

I become more proficient and appreciative because I have to adjust and correct errors. Sometimes jubilance comes to my heart because I have miraculously figured out how to make ten dollars work like twelve.

Without this, I become a “kept man,” a prisoner to the generosity of others instead of the beneficiary of my own talent.

So even though I am not so virtuous as to turn down such an annuity if it was offered to me (hint, hint) I am fully prepared on this lovely day, to concede … that I am better off without it. 

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