Cutie-pie: (n) darling; sweetheart; sweetie (often used as a term of endearment).
Here are some of my simple requests:
Have a bedroom.
In other words, if you’re madly in love with someone, don’t make out in front of everybody—groping and breathlessly moaning. Take the time to purchase, procure, sublet or acquire a bedroom. Thank you very much.
Once in that bedroom, please lock the door.
I don’t want to stumble upon you. I don’t want to accidentally think that it’s a good time for me to take a shower and discover you in various Kama Sutra poses. Please, buy a solid lock and use it to protect the children, me, yourselves and even the dog.
And finally, I would like you to be courteous when you’re in the midst of your Amazonian ritual:
Turn on some background music to cover up the sounds of sexual lingo.
I know that under the control of “sex dust” humans are capable of cooing almost anything:
And of course:
These expressions may be meaningful to you in the midst of your gauntlet but to those standing outside or walking by, they produce gut-wrenching nausea.
Let us review
- Locked door
- Music to cover the “sweet’ums” that fall from your lips in the pursuit of the wow factor.