Civil: (adj) courteous and polite.
Civil is what you end up with when you can’t convince people to be kind but you’ve talked them out of being assholes.
Now, there’s an aspiration.
Stop judging people because they’re not nice.
Stop judging people because they’re not nice enough.
Here’s an idea: stop judging people.
Instead, look for reasonable acts of civility. Don’t demand kindness. Maybe that’s just a profile reserved for saints. What we’re looking for is civility. Civility is the presence of a realization with a threat hanging over it. Simply stated:
“You can have what you want as long as you let everybody else have what they want. The minute you don’t let other people have what they want, you cease to have what you want.”
As long as our “wanter” is not killing people, stealing or destroying, it should be taken into consideration and given equal place with the “wanters” of others.
This is called civil.
It’s a decision to refuse to overlord (since you’re not really a god in the first place.)