Category Archives: A words

Abernathy

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Abernathy:  Ralph David (1926-90).  U.S. minister and civil rights activist. He served as president of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC) from 1968-1977. His autobiography, And the Walls Came Tumbling Down, was published in 1989.

Mr. Abernathy grew up believing, or at least being told, that he was a “nigger.” It was an era when people didn’t consider the word to be particularly derogatory, nor did they refer to it as the “n word.”

What often surprises me about great men and women of history is not so much that they did great things, but rather, the obstacles they had to overcome to forgive the world around them of ignorance so that greatness could be pursued.

How many times did someone call Abraham Lincoln a scrawny, backwoods lawyer? How many times did Alexander get criticized before somebody figured out he was Great? How many times did FDR wonder if he was just insane for trying to lead the free world from a wheelchair? And how many times did Jesus Christ have to be called a sinner before he got the opportunity to save sinners?

That’s what impresses me.

Mr. Abernathy, how did you survive the meanness of your world and come up with enough grace to continue to struggle, love and outlast the insanity to see “the walls tumble down?”

People of history are not beyond my understanding. They all have one thing in common–they knew how to turn down the noise.

Aberdeen

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Aberdeen: (1) a city in northeastern Scotland, a center of the North Sea oil industry, pop. 201,100. (2) a town in northeastern Maryland on Chesapeake Bay, pop. 13,067 (3) a city in northeastern South Dakota, a dairy center, pop. 24,658.

I’ve never been to Scotland, although I’ve heard rumors that the clothes will “kilt” ya. I have seen the movie Braveheart several times, which if I mentioned to a true Scotsman, would probably cause him to want to beat me to death with his bagpipes.

I’ve been to South Dakota twice. I remember on both occasions being surprised at how gloriously and pridefully unimpressive it was–and having the natives explain that South Dakota gets more tourism than North Dakota because it “sounds like it’s warmer.”

I certainly have been near Aberdeen, Maryland. My fond recollections of Maryland are the crab cakes they serve. Of course, the key to good crab cakes is all about the flavor of the cornbread batter. It should be sweet. Yes, crab cakes are what you might call a “deep-sea dessert.”

Like so many things in life, I know just enough about Aberdeen to be truly frustrating to anyone who has knowledge.

It’s not so much that silence is golden as it is that talking too much makes you look like crap

 

Abeokuta

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Abeokuta: a city in southwestern Nigeria, capital of the state of Ogun; pop. 308,800

You see, all he wanted to do was give out Bibles to natives. He certainly wasn’t interested in acquiring finance. His only concern was to provide the Word of God to lost souls in Nigeria who did not have any way of learning the truth of the salvation plan because they lacked a book to explain it to them.

He wrote me a lengthy letter to share his vision and also reinforce his credentials, listing numerous universities and organizations which were most definitely acquainted with his passion.

I was about eight or nine long paragraphs into this plea from Africa, when suddenly my the writer pointed out to me that even though he was not interested in money, a certain amount of cash would be necessary–along with the shipment of Bibles–as a tariff on all products from America, even if they were in black covers stamped with the word “Holy.”

So along with sending him a hundred Bibles, it would be necessary for me to include a wire transfer of $250 to cover those taxes and charges, so as to ensure that some desperately befuddled Nigerian would receive illumination from on high.

As a courtesy, he included the procedure by which I should transfer these funds–as soon as possible–even before the Bibles were shipped! After all, who knows when the monies would  be needed?

I do believe he was from Abeokuta.

I must confess to you, heathen that I am, I passed on this remarkable opportunity, kept my bank account intact and was forced to resort to a simple prayer for all those potentially damned Nigerians, who would be vacant of redemption due to the absence of my Bible shipment.

Such events do not make me cynical. They actually serve to make me more voracious in my appetite to find the authentic.

Abelian

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Abelian: adj. {mathematics} (of a group) having members related by a commutative operation (i.e. A x B = B x A)

Sometimes I wish we didn’t live in an A and B world. Actually, most of the time.

And if we insist on living in that separation, I wish we all would be more Abelian. In other words, find out that A x B does equal B x A.

There is a great chicanery going on in our society today. It is presented under the magnanimous banner of diversity. But if you look carefully, you realize the reason we want to extol our differences is in order to publicly or privately refuse equality to those who dare to vary.

It’s really sneaky.

Once you determine that somebody is unique–or at least off the beaten path of your lifestyle–you can smile at them, pretending that you appreciate their choices, while internally feeling superior that your particular inclinations are better.

No, we need to be more Abelian in our approach. Long before we discuss differences, we need to establish the certainty of equality. In other words, you are equal with me. Now, let’s sit down and learn about our individual choices.

If you don’t establish what’s equal first, you will use people’s differences against them.

Case in point: women are not different from men unless they’re first equal. THEN we can study, appreciate, argue, celebrate or even fuss about our variations. The discussion will be fruitful because it will be done in an atmosphere of “even-Steven/Stephanie.” If we joke about the differences before we’ve established an Abelian equality, we will never grant each other the dignity of justice.

Tricky, isn’t it?

Let’s find out what’s equal. We’ll have plenty of time to discover what isn’t.

Abele

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Abele: n. the white poplar.

That just chums my shark waters!

White popular?? Isn’t that the problem in this country?? For hundreds of years, everything has been about what the white people want, what the white people like, what the white people desire!

Sooner of later, we have to stop trying to appeal to the white popular and allow for a little color in our cheeks. It seems that every generation tolerates some sort of bigotry as part of the national thinking, hoping that their particular vice will be overlooked by the police of intolerance and will be allowed to continue.

We no longer need to be concerned about the white popular. We are a nation of diverse thinking and colorations. We must …

Excuse me a second. My typist has stopped me and wants to say something. (Pause . . .)

I’m back. She just explained to me that the abele is a white POPLAR,  not popular. Sounds pretty.

Nevermind.

Abelard

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Abelard: Peter (1079 – 1142) French scholar, theologian and philosopher. He is famous for his tragic love affair with his student, Heloise.

“Tragic love affair.”

You know what’s tragic about it? Old Pete and Heloise let circumstance keep them apart and decided to pretend they were in love at a distance instead of chasing each other down and living together for the rest of their lives.

You see, that’s the problem with romance. At first, it’s just too romantic. It later becomes real. Then it often ends up disappointed. There’s nothing wrong with having a silly infatuation filled with love letters, flowers and candy. To say anything against that would be like storming the gates of heaven with a butter knife.

But you can add one thing to your romantic tizzy when you’re first getting started with a new possibility. The two of you can sit down in a moment of non-sexual blur and decide how to handle confrontation–because confrontation is essential in a relationship. This may shock you, but it ends up that we really don’t love our lovers “just the way they are.”

So rather than being five years down the road and waking up one morning realizing that for some unexplained reason you have fallen out of love with your former-hot-mama, it might just be a good idea to deal with the smaller problems when they come up–and have a way to talk them through instead of just tolerating them because you’re horny.

Yes, if Old Pete and Heloise had said to one another, “We’re in love, but we’ve got some problems here with people interfering and both of us are a little bit chicken to fight the critics, so maybe together we can come up with a backbone between us…”

Well, if they had done that, they might have ended up together instead of being listed in the  Dictionary as a “tragic love affair.”

It is true that love is a many splendid thing–but it becomes even better when you find your voice and you’re able to share, fairly candidly, your heart’s desire.

Abel

by J. R. Practixdictionary with letter A

Abel: (in the Bible) the second son of Adam and Eve, murdered by his brother, Cain

Abel raised goats or sheep–livestock of some sort.  It’s interesting that we call them livestock when we fully intend on killing them. That’s what Abel did. He killed one of his pet barnyard animals and presented it to God as some sort of sacrifice and evidence of his devotion.

The lesson we can learn from Abel is that you are eventually judged by the company you keep, even when it’s your own brother. For you see, his brother, Cain, was a farmer.

I mean no disrespect when I say that farming can make you crazy. Even though I admire those who till the soil, I am extraordinarily sympathetic of a livelihood where you can do everything absolutely right–pick your seed, plow, plant, fertilize–and then the sun can come and bake it too soon or the floods can drown it.  Like, you can’t do a whole lot about it, right?

Abel should have known better than to piss off his brother. After all, Cain was a farmer. Farming can make you crazy.

Sometimes you get tired of hoeing the ground, hoping for results–and in a fit of rage, you take a hoe to your brother.

Abed

by J. R. Practixdictionary with letter A

Abed:  adv. in bed

Every once in a while I give it the good ole’ college try. Usually it happens when I’ve had a particularly busy day. I ease myself under the covers, making a promise to the surrounding furniture in the room that I have no intention of emerging from this sleep chamber for several days, if not weeks.

It doesn’t make any difference. I always wake up the next morning around six o’clock and have a growing sense of worthlessness from hugging my pillow instead of pursuing the day. It’s not that I am especially energetic or have a massive work ethic. It’s just that I’ve never been an excellent “lie-abed.”

Candidly, it was possibly one of my greatest difficulties in being a parent to adolescents. It was always beyond my comprehension how folks in their teens, who possessed such immense nervous energy just hours before, twitching, leaping about or shaking their leg like a flea-ridden dog as they watched television, could become comatose and unable revive the next morning– passing over the glory of breakfast and early morning television, not to mention the rising of the sun, to finally trip down the stairs at the noon hour, barely able to audibly inquire what might be available to eat.

I don’t often share this with people because there’s a certain self-righteousness about getting up early in the morning that I find distasteful. I don’t do it because I want to go out and talk with the birds like St. Francis of Assisi. Nor is there seed to plant in the back forty with my Amish brothers and sisters.

It’s just me.

There are only two things to do in bed, and once you complete one and the other’s not available, well … it makes me fidgety.

So, to all people who ARE lie-abeds, I tell you that I am not judgmental whatsoever. Actually, I come just short of admiration for your ability to doze back off instead of staring at the ceiling, wondering about the asbestos content in the tiles.

No, you will not often find me abed. But you’ll probably outlive me, too.

Isn’t it funny that we humans are so intent on getting our sack time that we refer to death as “the eternal sleep?”

 

Abecedarian

by J. R. Practixdictionary with letter A

Abecedarian:  adj. (1) arranged alphabetically (2) rudimentary, elementary: abecedarian technology (3) n. a person who is just learning, a novice

I never end up looking dumb unless I insist that I’m not dumb when I really am dumb and therefore, in conclusion, am proclaimed to be … well, dumb.

I wish I could learn this for all time. I still have this great desire to embellish, puff up my credentials and overstate my qualities. I guess I’m afraid that if I don’t toot my own horn, nothing horny will ever occur, so to speak.

When I was younger and flirting, I sometimes made the mistake of postulating on my prowess and then later found out, when someone took me up on my offer, that all of my claims were easily disproven in reality. Very embarrassing.

Yes, it is very important to be an abecedarian in the realm of sexuality. In no other category of life do false promises come to light quite as quickly as with that particular maneuver–followed in a close second by education.

I assume we are all occasionally tempted to make our menial qualifications of learning appear to be more “Ivy League.” But with the availability of the Internet, Google search and the suspicion of the general populace, one’s academic history can be acquired with too much ease to ever graduate yourself to a false state.

And then there’s abilities. I can always tell when someone has no talent. They talk to you about how much talent they have. Actually, that’s the beauty of talent–you don’t have to talk, advertise, promote or print a brochure. You can just punch a button inside your soul–and do it.

So I’m glad there’s a name for the profile of appearing to be a novice in life as a protection against the dangers of exaggeration. Let me just simplify things and say I am an abecedarian. And then maybe human beings–and God, in His infinite mercy–will grant me some much-needed slack.

Abeam

by J. R. Practixdictionary with letter A

Abeam:  adv. on a line at right angles to a ship’s or an aircraft’s length.

The only trouble with right-wing ideas is that they make left-wing notions appear sane.

Nowadays there is a great thrust to take the direction, spirituality and even artistry of our country abeam.  We are trying to create a right angle and in the process ending up with ideas that are left behind.

It’s really quite simple–since we can’t go back and change anything and the future is yet to be determined, someone needs to have the intelligence to get us to pursue matters in the present. Without this, we have a tendency to go abeam. We try to play it safe. We try to mimic things we saw during our upbringing which appeared to be more righteous. Actually we were just surrounded by hidden sin, which is not that different from burying a turd in a cake.

On the other hand, there are those who think the best procedure in dealing with human beings is to allow complete liberty with no restraints, granting each and every person the innate excuse of “being born a certain way”–which forces them into a behavior seemingly beyond their control.

I don’t know if there is a left angle, but maybe I can rename that abomb.

So in an attempt to prevent us from going abeam–too much at a right angle–or abomb–a left turn on red–we really require some simple-minded folks who will just steer the ship for today, without consulting the manual from former times or speculating on which way the river will turn tomorrow.

Otherwise, I think we’re just destined to go abeam. Or maybe … abomb.

To do my part, I will honor three ideas:

  1. Yesterday wasn’t better, or we wouldn’t be doing half the things we do today.
  2. Tomorrow is not the end of the world or even the beginning. It’s just what we make it.
  3. Do the best with the supplies we have in front of us today.

This will probably keep us from going abeam or abomb.

I don’t know how popular the approach will be–because it’s not crazy.

And it seems that nowadays a certain amount of insanity is necessary to draw a crowd.