Category Archives: B words

Big

Big: (adj) of considerable size, extent or intensity.

Dictionary B

“Big Jon.”

That’s what everybody used to call me.

It was their way of acknowledging that I was a large person without using terms like chubby, tubby, overweight, portly, plump or God forbid–fat.

But as I grew older and wiser, I realized that behind every use of the word “big” was a parenthetical inclusion of “fat.”

Even though politeness is very polite, it is often misleading, if not flat-out lying.

I was able to pull off “Big Jon” for a long time because I could lift couches, play sports, and pant and sweat my way to physical equality.

But age caught up with me, and the passing years have robbed me of the courtesy of being big, and just made me obese.

For the record, there is absolutely no charm in “Obese Jon.”

When is it good to be big?

I was told when I was younger that having big dreams, big plans and big goals was a sign of vision. Then I realized that this particular view of life could blind you with ambition, leaving you stumbling in the darkness of despair.

Somewhere in between small and big lies real.

It’s what we’re all looking for.

It’s that part of the mission of our life journey which is achievable instead of under-promoted or overwrought.

I have reached a time when I need to stop being so big.

My body, my emotions and my ego … all need to go on a diet.Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix 

 

Bier

Bier: (n) a movable frame for a casket

Dictionary B

If you want to creep people out, just start talking about death.

Matter of fact, in the pursuit of bizarre conclusions, I have even brought the subject up at a party, and watched the room go from appalled to reflective, culminating in depression.

There are three things that are true about death:

1. It is the only thing that is certain, that we are certainly unwilling to admit is inevitable.

2. Everybody talks about an afterlife, but no one is really in a hurry to get there.

3. All humans are scared shitless of it–even though sometimes we pretend we’re not.

Sooner or later, we get there.

  • If it’s sooner, we call it a tragedy.
  • If it’s later, we usually say something like, “Well, it was his time…”

Therefore, it’s best that we take a moment and consider the quality of our lives–because each of us will someday end up hauled away on a bier to a place where we will not return, to go where we are not acquainted.

So I guess the best way to end this little essay is to conclude that while we are waiting, enjoy each other … and have a beer.

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix 

 

Biddy

Biddy: (n) a woman, usually an elderly one regarded as annoying or interfering.

Dictionary BIn the midst of a haze of delusion about my own intelligence, this morning, I once again discovered that a word that I have spelled “b-i-t-t-y” is actually “b-i-d-d-y.”

And believe you me, I have used the word.

Growing up in a small town, I was surrounded by biddies.

Even though I thought they were spelled with “t’s,” the definition held true.

There is some sickness in aging human beings that causes them to forget the total awkwardness involved in learning how things work.

  • No one is born with manners.
  • No one comes out of the womb with an understanding of how to balance a checkbook.
  • No citizen of Earth is hatched with any idea on how to handle his or her genitalia.

Mistakes are needful, obvious and prevalent.

It doesn’t take you long to silence a biddy. All you have to do is look into her past and find the times when she was irresponsible, irreverent or promiscuous.

(It’s not like any human being actually follows the Ten Commandments. We often view them, at best, as suggestions, and more often than not, as annoyances.)

So the best thing you can do as you get older is to develop a great sense of humor and realize there is no short cut to maturity.

It is a painful and clumsy walk through the thorny bramble bushes of confusion.

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix 

 

Bicycle

Bicycle: (n) a vehicle composed of two wheels held in a frame one behind the other, propelled by pedals and steered with handlebars

Dictionary B

The old 37 hill.

That’s what I called it.

It wasn’t actually much of a rise, but for my chubby legs, trying to pedal up that incline on my bicycle was nearly impossible. Matter of fact, usually halfway up, I pulled over, got off and walked my bicycle the rest of the way up.

I always felt like a failure (well, as much as you can feel like a failure when you’re twelve).

It seemed like the whole town was watching me to see if I was going to give up on the old 37 one more time.

In never getting up, I never let them down.

One day, I decided I was going to pedal the whole hill no matter what happened. Hell to pay (though I didn’t know what that phrase meant).

I was doing so well.

I was nearly at the top when I stood up and pushed down for one final burst…and my bicycle pedal broke off, causing me to splatter all over the road in complete indignity.

I was so embarrassed.

Especially when I went down to the small-town hardware store to replace my pedal and the owner refused to put one on. He said I was too fat and I would just break it again.

I had to promise him that I would never stand up and push hard on the pedal before he would let me buy the replacement.

Because of that I never conquered the old 37 hill.

But when I got my driver’s license, I took my 1963 Impala and drove up and down repeatedly…snickering.

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix 

 

Bicker

Bicker: (v) to argue about petty and trivial matters.

Dictionary B

Perhaps one of the greatest misconceptions of our time is the idea that we, as human beings, are actually able to agree to disagree.

We’ve all heard it.

Some impasse will be reached between two individuals and one of them will suggest they cease the discussion, admitting that resolution is impossible, and pretend to accept the opinion of the other person as viable.

We don’t do that.

We might set out to portray ourselves as open-minded citizens, able to tolerate variance of opinion without any retribution, but actually, we eventually fall back on bickering with those who disagree with us, while still, amazingly, insisting that there is no real problem.

  • We pick.
  • We fuss.
  • We cast aspersion on the character of another.
  • We raise our eyebrows when they walk out of the room to connote how crazy they truly seem to be.
  • We giggle to ourselves.

We are dishonest. We pretend the situation is calm, but actually, it’s a fomenting sea.

It is why husbands and wives are well-known for taking cheap shots at each other–bickering–even in the presence of others, under the guise that this is “just what married people do.”

Actually, it is what humans do when they have unresolved conflict they have swept under the rug … leaving a bumpy pathway for future walking.

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix 

 

Bibliography

Bibliography: (n) a list of the books referred to in a scholarly work

Dictionary B

It would seem it is necessary in the pursuit of reporting truthful statements, that we find others who agree with us, who have written down their thoughts–therefore supposedly giving these notions greater credibility.

Of course, with the inception of the Internet and freelance writers such as myself, merely finding quotes which confirm your assertion has become easier–and also more comical.

I could probably make any statement whatsoever and produce a list of essays, papers and even books that will confirm my accusations with a hearty literary “amen.”

Here’s the problem: it doesn’t make it true.

Some of the more astute and intelligent writing in American history occurred in the Antebellum period, when it was completely permissible to refer to “Nigger Jim.”

If I were to write a twisted article on my black brothers and sisters and place within the bibliography a considered number of masterful works to support my prejudice, I would have a foundation, yet find it to be constructed on the sand.

A bibliography is a way of proving that a freshman in high school actually cracked a book to crack open his or her brain.

It does not prove that what is being purported is accurate.

Just that we found enough people to concur … to have a small party.

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix 

 

Bible

Bible: (n) the Christian scriptures, consisting of the 66 books of the Old and New Testaments.

Dictionary B

A friend of mine bought me a knife.

I found it unusual because it was in a sheath. I had never owned such a weapon.

I took it out of its case, and in doing so, removed it so quickly that I sliced my finger on the blade.

It hurt.

The knife was too sharp.

I stuck it back in its sheath, set it to the side, and didn’t think much more about it.

A few weeks later, my friend asked me how I liked my knife. I decided to be honest and tell him it was just too sharp for me to use–that I was afraid I would slice myself every time I handled it.

He explained that I needed to break it in–that the blade would become less dangerous as I put it to use and found practical ways to dull the blade, while making it more effective for common duties.

I decided to take his advice.

In no time at all, that knife, which had been too sharp to even remove from its protective casing, became very valuable. I used it for everything from slicing tomatoes to shaving twigs off a branch.

I liked my knife.

Even though it was too sharp at first, I gradually learned to use it in such a way that it lost some of its edginess and became more pliable.

And so it is with the Bible.

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix 

 

Bib

Bib: (n) a piece of cloth or plastic fastened around a person’s neck to keep their clothes clean while eating.

Dictionary B

It is impossible to escape ridiculous.

Stop trying.

The only factor even in consideration is whether you’re going to be ridiculous by choice or ridiculous by accident.

Some people prefer being ridiculous by accident. Then they can pull up lame and be the victim of circumstance.

I would always rather be ridiculous by choice. Let me give you an example.

Many years ago, I was invited to be the guest speaker at a banquet. I had just purchased a lovely white suit. Well, actually, at the time I thought it was lovely, but now it would be overstated and draw too much attention.

Yet on this occasion I wore this new suit.

When I arrived for the meal, I discovered that the menu was spaghetti and meatballs.

I am not embarrassed to tell you that it is difficult for me, for some reason or another, to take a sip of water without spilling a drop or two on my front.

It is not an issue of dexterity, but rather, the distance that must be covered and possibly, some of my nervous energy due to memories of previous spillage.

So even though as the guest speaker, I was sitting at the front table, I found a huge dish towel from the kitchen and wrapped it around my neck, hanging down the front of my white suit, to counteract what I was sure would be an avalanche of drippings from my spoon and fork.

I made me a bib.

The towel was ugly. It apparently had been owned by a child and had the picture of a bear eating a bowl of porridge.

I looked ridiculous.

But I smiled through the whole dinner, knowing I had made a good choice.

Especially when I looked down and saw my new little bear friend … completely covered in spaghetti sauce.

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix 

 

Bias

Bias: (n) prejudice in favor of or against one thing, person, or group

Dictionary B

“Choose up sides.”

It happens early in our training, especially in elementary school.

Two captains are picked, which already establishes a bias toward a pair of students who are certainly preferred.

It is up to these two students to hand select their favorite individuals in a sequence which communicates to the entire room the new social order for the second-grade cult.

It may seem harmless–and especially seems to be free of guile for those who are selected early or who happen to be the captains.

But if you’ve ever been the last one selected, you are fully aware that bias leaves a lasting mark which is difficult to erase with the pencils provided during your years of education.

In many ways, the bias toward race begins on the playground.

We start off with only one race–that being “let’s go fast.” But as we describe to our teachers and families our newfound friends, we are suddenly discouraged from playing with them because somehow or another they are “different.”

Reinforcing this training is the notion that “girls are different from boys.”

“Smart people are different from less smart people.”

And the word different has two definitions:

  • If the difference is mine, it is better.
  • If the difference is yours, it is inferior.

It is impossible to celebrate cultures without promoting bias.

Yet we continue to do so, having children don sombreros on Cinco de Mayo, thinking that we are being multi-cultural–and also limiting the scope of a whole group of people to “a funny hat.”

Insanity is when we believe we solve a problem by creating a bigger one.

And bias is always the contention that the best way to understand people … is to punctuate their differences.

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix