Tag Archives: arrested

Arraign

 

dictionary with letter A

Arraign: (v) to call or bring someone before a court to answer a criminal charge.

I’ve never been arrested, although I have been accused of having an arresting personality. (Pardon me, that was pathetic.)

I have thought about what it would be like to have my rights read to me by some austere cop, hand-cuffed and taken away in the squad car. Strange notions come to my mind during these reflections.

First of all, I wonder if they would be upset when their normal handcuffs wouldn’t work on my fat wrists.

Also, since I’ve tried during exercise to get my arms to reach behind my back, I wonder if they would be equally as aggravated as I am by the process.

Then there would be the procedure of getting into the back of the squad car handcuffed, which, with my girth, could require several attempts and some very painful head-hitting.

This has made me believe that there is a necessity for me to maintain the straight and narrow, to avoid the calamaties which might occur during my arrest.

I’ve also thought about what I would do when I appeared before the judge and charges were read, and it came my time to speak concerning my guilt or innocence. You know what I mean.

“And what do you plead?”

I’ve even rehearsed.

“Not guilty, Your Honor.”

How about this?

“What, bro? Yous gotta be kiddin’.”

“Absolutely not guilty!”

“Double dutch not guilty!”

Or should I add some comedy to the event?

“Guilty of overeating, but not guilty on these charges!”

What kind of attorney would they give me? Since I’m not very wealthy, he or she would be court appointed–a nervous novice who would be unable to pronounce my name. So in the midst of the reading of the indictment and my lawyer trying to explain the situation, I would find myself interrupting to correct the mispronunciations.

Would that anal-attentive attitude be a positive in front of the judge?

All in all, I think it’s just best to watch arraignments on television, and to personally avoid them–because I’m just afraid the handcuffs would chafe my wrists.

I have very sensitive skin.

 

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Apprehend

dictionary with letter A

Apprehend (v): 1. to arrest someone for a crime. 2. to understand or perceive: (e.g.) great art invites us to apprehend beauty

Occasionally, the dictionary offers us two definitions of a word, which seem quite unique to one another, if not at odds.

After all, what does being arrested have to do with learning?

Yet in a world where we “Cliff” notes, “Tweet” all thoughts and “abridge” our art into compact units, we must understand that somewhere along the line, the attention span of the average person needs to be stopped, frisked and arrested instead of just providing an “Amber Alert.”

Truthfully, we do have the word “comprehend,” which connotes that a reasonable person can consider an idea to determine if it has personal value.

But there are things in life which are so essential that they require a yea or nay. Yes, there are too many votes being taken in this country for us to move forward to progress our spiritual or human rights.

How do we communicate this?

  • I have rejected preaching because it is pompous.
  • Honestly, teaching takes too much time.
  • “Sharing” is a bit ephemeral for my taste.
  • I believe the only way to truly impact our generation is through illumination. Yes–turn on the damn lights and then explain why you have temporarily blinded the room.

Certain things in our society need to be apprehended quickly–arresting our attention–or the backlash from Mother Nature and Father God will be universal.

1. No one is better than anyone else.

Stop debating it; start believing it.

2. The Earth is the Lord’s but we are the caretakers.

Grab a hoe or a shovel instead of just using resources.

3. The greatest injustice on Earth is the inequity between men and women.

No, it’s not “cute” to fight.

4. We can’t keep killing and still call ourselves civilized.

War is a “grave” possibility.

There you go.

I suppose I could wait around for people to comprehend these ideas and come to some sort of compromise through debate and cajoling, but I do believe these concepts actually need to be apprehended by everyone immediately … to avoid the foolishness and pain that follow folly.

 

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