Crapshoot: (inf) anything unpredictable or risky.

 Very few things.

It used to be that there were very few things we regarded as a “crapshoot.”

The statement was considered comical—referring to something that was obviously beyond our control—like whether it was going to rain or how many potato chips would actually be in our latest bag, since they had begun to steal them from us each and every time.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

“It’s a crapshoot.”

It was a cynical way of gently admitting that something was out of bounds and therefore wasn’t worth the amount of hair on a worry-nut.

Then something changed.

We found ourselves somewhat comforted by our depression, relieved of the responsibility of trying to solve difficult situations, and so, as time passed, more and more often events, relationships and circumstances were dubbed “crapshoots.”

Once we had stated that this is what they were, we could roll our eyes and walk away, pretending we were victims of circumstance, or swept away by trends and attitudes which had overwhelmed us.


Below are five questions we should ask before we call something a crapshoot and walk away, giving up on it:

1. Is there anything I can do?

2. Is there anything I can get you to do?

3. Is there any obstacle I can throw in the way to impede the digression of a really bad idea?

4. Can I make fun of it until it goes away?

5. Can I go “over there somewhere” and start a countermovement to this foolishness?

If you ask all five of these questions and still end up helpless, then you may go ahead without condemnation, roll the dice and let the crapshoot begin.


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Cookie-cutter: (adj) lacking individuality; stereotyped or formulaic

If individuality is merely the proliferation of really stinky attitudes shared in a variety of styles, then I, for one, would welcome a little bit more “cookie-cutter approach” to our society.

Candidly, as long as it’s a cookie I like, I would welcome you to cut as many as possible—to satisfy my appetite and an ongoing hunger in funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

We might want to stop taking all this time convincing everyone about how unique we are, and instead, insert more chocolate chips into our recipe, making us more appealing instead of appalling.

There’s nothing wrong with being like other people if the way you’re like other people is an intelligent way to like other people (I hope you followed that.)

So if you can get over your fear of being common, you might be able to develop enough common sense to create a satisfying recipe, spread yourself out and bake up something with your life that makes people want to come back for more.

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Commiserate: (v) to express or feel sympathy or pity; sympathize.

It’s almost like the human being runs on two gas tanks. (Perhaps it’s foolish to try to compare our species to a combustible engine, but if you will forgive my simplicity, I will make the analogy.)

We have one gas tank that fuels us to achieve, and we have another tank that helps us putter along in self-pity.

Obviously, following this comparison through to a conclusion, the tank we fill up more often determines much of our happiness, success and value.

The problem comes when deciding where to place our feelings and attitudes when assisting others. Should we challenge, or should we commiserate?

And if we decide to encourage, which tank are we filling? Are we being sympathetic, which makes our friends believe they are victims? Or are we attempting to be uplifting, stirring them out of their doldrums?

It may sound tender-hearted to commiserate, but honestly, very little is achieved by filling up the self-pity tank of someone you love.

That engine has no power to do anything but sustain idle–not rocket them into the stars.


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Aversion: (n) a strong dislike or disinclination.dictionary with letter A

My prejudices are not more precious and beautiful simply because they’re hatched in my well-cared-for mental factory.

I know this.

Yet I wonder sometimes if scolding my personal attitudes that seem distasteful might not be a futile action, considering the fact that some of the things I dislike just might be universally annoying.

But I don’t like stereotypes. Stereotypes exist because specific sounds, attitudes and stupidities blare out at us–often at piercing decibels.

Is it possible to address things that are human-unfriendly without coming across as either a bigot or completely out of step with the progress of society?

For you see, I have some strong aversions. I usually keep them to myself. Why? Because I think they’re prejudices. But part of the time, I also think they’re intelligent insights which just might help the human race to truly evolve instead of monkeying around by accepting the ridiculous.

I will share them with you, understanding that I may come across as bizarre or arcane:

  1. I do not like it when young girls talk like they live in Southern California near the beach, unable to correctly form consonants.
  2. While we’re still on the talking situation, if I found myself to be a person of color, I would do everything in my power to cease speaking with a Southern accent, thereby impersonating my former oppressors.
  3. Fat people should not eat at buffets. Put it in a carryout box and take it home. For since I am a fat person, I am fully aware that if I don’t eat slowly and lightly at the buffet, everyone in the room will assume they understand the heights and depths of my gluttony.
  4. Women cannot achieve equality by insisting they are superior to men.
  5. Men cannot achieve equality by pretending in front of their friends that they think women are smarter than men.
  6. I think black Americans do a disservice to themselves by referring to their race as African-American. There isn’t any one of them who would last five minutes on the African continent.
  7. I would like to live in a world where rock and roll music can be enjoyed without buying into the culture of drugs, illicit sex and profane lyrics.
  8. I think rap music should be allowed but should be considered just as seriously as one values an organ recital at your church. In other words, you’re glad it’s there because it enhances the culture, but you probably won’t show up.
  9. Anyone who is political is unhelpful. Life is not political–it’s unpredictable. And if you’re not prepared to make adjustments toward what works, you will get trapped into what doesn’t.
  10. Stop telling me that you have found a solution to a problem only to tell me next week that the solution offered ends up causing cancer.

There are 10 right off the top of my head without even breaking a sweat.

Wait! There’s an 11th:

People who tell me that breaking a sweat will make me healthier… who end up in the emergency room with pulled muscles, broken bones and heart attacks.

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dictionary with letter A

Ambivalent: (adj.) having mixed or contradictory feelings about something or someone

I am ambivalent about writing an essay on ambivalence, or my ambivalence is quite evident about the word, ambivalent.

Either way, I, for one, have grown weary of honoring certain topics, subjects and even concepts that are considered to be sacred, which no longer deliver any potential to humanity.

Matter of fact, I have recently been in discussions with individuals both liberal and conservative, and noticed that the reason progress is impossible is that the respect we hold for certain beliefs and attitudes is so inflexible that to ask these virtues or precepts to produce a fruitful conclusion is considered unrighteous.

Here’s what I think: if you’re going to believe in God, it should show up somewhere other than in your bad attitude. If what you think, feel, and desire does not make you more gentle, caring and expressive, then I think the assertion is not only worthy of being challenged, but should be voted on for extinction.

Case in point: don’t tell me it’s in the Constitution and therefore should be revered. Please convince me why it’s still in the Constitution.

I would appreciate you not telling me it’s in the Bible and is therefore the holy word of God if you cannot give me a factual representation of why it exists in the first place.

There are three criteria for being zealously affected by a good thing. Without these three ideas, I feel rather ambivalent about what’s offered to me.

  1. Is it going to help people be better people?
  2. Does it give everybody a chance to find their best effort and soul?
  3. Does it take into consideration the needs and freedoms of others, which would include protecting them from getting hurt?

There you go.

Anything you want to share with me that does not fall into one of those three categories, I am totally ambivalent about. And if you continue to pursue it on my watch, I could become your adversary.

  • For years and years we were ambivalent about racial equality. We were wrong.
  • We were ambivalent about women voting. Wrong again.
  • We now face a whole series of issues which we’re trying to table, expressing our ambivalence and eliminating solutions. Is it safe to say that we soon will be called wrong?

Look at my three and tell me what you see.

I would be curious.