Configuration

Configuration: (n) an arrangement of elements in a particular form, figure, or combination

If you’re going to live a fruitful, intelligent, expansive and joyful life on this planet we call Earth, you must avoid two armed camps of misconception:

  1. I don’t believe in God
  2. I believe in the Bible, no matter what

If you decide to join one of these teams, you nullify some of your value and worth to the world around you.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

For denying there’s a God leaves out vast mountain ranges of spiritual and emotional peaks which open the eyes to a mission of climbing the mountains instead of just studying them.

On the other hand, believing that the Bible is the infallible word of God, simultaneously inerrant, abandons you, defending ridiculous bits of prejudice, which will eventually demean you to the role of a bigot.

We are in the midst of a configuration–suspended in a Universe beyond our comprehension, challenged to include both the natural and the ethereal in discovering exactly how we can get along with one another, inventing ways to prevent the diseases and disasters bewitching us.

If you understand this, welcome to Earth.

If you don’t, please enjoy your brief visit.

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Mr. Kringle's Tales...26 Stories 'Til Christmas

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Commune

Commune: (n) a group of people living together and sharing possessions and responsibilities.

Many good ideas would work well if we could keep them out of human hands.

There’s something about the greasy palms of the human race that make noble intentions slip from our grasp and crash to the floor, breaking
into a million pieces.

I have been a guest at five communes in my lifetime. They all shared certain attributes:

  1. A discovery of a separate and simpler life so as not to have too many moving parts.
  2. A realization that it was important to share common values, goals, tastes in food, and entertainment preferences.
  3. For some reason, an emphasis on male dominance and female subservience was thrust to the forefront.
  4. Children in the commune were normally very well-behaved, but looked a bit as if they had just gone through shock treatments.
  5. Money was eschewed as meaningless except that the surroundings were so sparse of frills that it was obvious that someone in the commune was lusting for a Snickers bar.
  6. There was a fear in the air that they would be exposed as unhappy, so they were overly careful about what they said.

The reason communes don’t work is the same reason that half the marriages in the country end up in divorce: we don’t always clump well.

We are too intelligent, too independent and too selfish from our jungle roots to be totally trusted to evenly slice the loaf of bread among four souls.

 

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Clone

Clone: (v) to make a duplicate

Some people just like to argue. I’m convinced of that.

You could even tell them you agree with what they’re saying, and they will still comment on how poorly you supported the point.

Thus the argument about cloning.

People are very afraid we’re actually going to attempt to clone human beings. That’s not what bothers me. What troubles me is that we want to clone attractive, intelligent, disease-free human beings.

Will they still be assholes?

You see, that’s the problem. I have met people who are supposed to be very appealing, but after spending ten minutes with them, I was grateful that the eleventh minute arrived so I could leave.

They were just too aware of their positive attributes.

There is something sweet in the human spirit about uncertainty–something appealing about an attractive person wondering if you think they look alright.

Do we really want a clone who is not only structured in perfection, but has a receipt to prove it?

I gain strength through my weaknesses. If people do not know this to be true, they will continue to lie and deceive in order to cover up hidden flubs. Are we going to clone flubbed people so they’ll be more real?

Or is the purpose of cloning an attempt to achieve what God was unable to do–and that is make a perfect Adam and Eve.

 

 

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Chip

Chip: (n) a small piece of something

Thoroughly aware that trying to wax poetic often just leaves you waxy, I will offer the following insight: life is about discovering what chip you’re dealing with.

Is it a poker chip, a potato chip or a discarded chip? All three are applicable to the word “chip.”

You can choose to believe your life is a poker chip–in other words, just a big gamble where you occasionally win but you mostly lose, so you might as well party
and have a good time.

You can also view life as a potato chip. Yes, obnoxiously insisting that “no one can eat just one,” you tackle it with vigor and a sense of awe, believing that every turn in the road is a new opportunity for success.

And of course, you can contend that life is a discarded chip. In other words, whatever is complete and whole will probably not come your way, so the true art of living is learning how to take the rejected pieces and turn them into evidence of your prowess and intelligence.

There may be other chips in life:

  • Certainly we know there are reportedly “chips that are down.”
  • Some chips end up on your shoulder.
  • And occasionally, we may even feel cursed because we’re like a “chip off the old block.”

What chip are you?

Because word has it, the choice you make determines whether you end up chipper.

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Chalk

Chalk: (n) a soft white limestone used for blackboards

His first name was Page and his second was Unus. His parents apparently thought this was funny, because once Unus is translated from the
Latin, his name became “Page One.”

I liked Page. He was odd.

Most kids in school knew he was odd, which disqualified him from consideration. He was highly intelligent, which is the booby prize often given to odd people. Page had quirks.

Page loved to eat cold kidney beans out of a can.

He loved to have crab apple fights in his backyard.

But he hated the sound of squeaky chalk on a blackboard. It made him crazy–not fake, “pretending to be upset” crazy. No, his blood pressure went up, his face turned red, and he gripped the sides of his wooden schoolroom desk as if he were going to tear it apart.

We had one teacher who always had squeaky chalk. I don’t know if it was the cheap stuff or the expensive–but every time he wrote on the blackboard, there was an accompanying atonal melody of squeaking which most of the class ignored.

Except for Page and me–and only me because I was concerned about Page.

One day in the midst of a particularly elongated session of trying to solve a problem on the board with the squeaking chalk, Page got up from his seat, quietly walked to the front of the room, took the chalk from the teacher’s hand and threw it against the wall, breaking it into several pieces. He turned to the class and said, “Doesn’t that sound drive you crazy?”

He was met with a roomful of blank faces.

The teacher took him to the principal’s office, where he received a lecture on self-control and was given in-school suspension for five days. During his stretch for the crime, I saw him one day on his way to the cafeteria. He was smiling.

I was confused. Why would Page be so happy about his punishment? Then I realized.

No squeaky chalk.

 

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Bet

Bet: (v) to feel sureDictionary B

There are those who deem themselves very conservative and would insist they would never place a bet on anything–as they sit down at a fast food restaurant and devour a double-bacon cheeseburger, betting that their arteries will withstand the attack.

We all bet.

  • In politics, they call it “tendencies” and “polls.”
  • In business, they refer to it as “great ideas” or “hunches.”
  • In romance, it’s deemed “beauty” or “fragrance.”
  • And in religion, we revere it as “faith.”

For after all, none of us are sure of much of anything as it pertains to the future, and all attempts to contradict that ignorance only make us appear insistent, not intelligent.

So what do I bet on?

1. I bet that people are self-involved, and you get along a whole lot better when you know it.

2. I bet there’s more evil in a private meeting of a political party than there ever is in twenty demons congregating over the fires of hell.

3. I bet the things that have sustained us–faith, hope and love–will continue to work, even when some cynics consider them outdated.

4. And I bet that I will reap what I sow.

These are my sure bets.

I have found that when I understand them to be true … I always end up with an excellent payout.

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Benign

Benign: (adj) not harmful in effect: in particular, (of a tumor) not malignant.

Dictionary B

This is a word that isn’t positive unless you’re dealing with tumors.

If you have a benign tumor, it’s a good thing–because it means you don’t have cancer.

But a benign society, a benign church, a benign lifestyle, a benign personality and a benign effort only opens the door for extremists to come in and overwhelm us.

Even though none of us want to necessarily be too flamboyant, or over-exaggerate our worth, the human race doesn’t really look our way unless we do something extraordinary enough to turn their heads.

It is the nature of our species–to be duped simply because we’ve been sufficiently startled or stimulated.

How can you make good things interesting instead of making them so bland that they are emotional cottage cheese?

Great question–especially in this political season, when the squeaky wheel is not only getting the grease, but also refusing to grease any other wheels.

Perhaps it is our job to find the most intelligent and creative angle to let the world know … that peace is even more exciting than war.

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