Tag Archives: bathroom humor

Bowel Movement

Bowel movement: (n) an act of defecation.

We aren’t supposed to talk about it.Dictionary B

Matter of fact, it could be the definition of friendship. A friend is someone who has joined you in lengthy discussions about bowel movements.

Since it is the forbidden fruit of human dialogue, generally speaking, you have to develop a very close relationship with a fellow-bowel-mover to actually feel comfortable to open yourself up.

And once you get started, you can’t stop talking about it. It’s as if you’ve been culturally constipated and suddenly are granted the free flow of expression.

Uncorked, as it were.

And it is so enlightening when you hear other people discuss their “seated times,” and realize how much you have in common with them–with some delightful differences. It can nearly bring you to tears.

But we are told not to speak of such things and certainly not to joke about them. Otherwise we’ll be accused of “bathroom humor.”

It is amazing that something done by most people at least once a day is relegated to conversational obscurity.

So if you’re ever around me and I start sharing about “b.m.” you can be certain of two things:

  1. It’s on my mind
  2. You must be a damn good friend.

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Boor

Boor: (n) an unrefined, ill-mannered person.

Personal revelations are risky.Dictionary B

You may think you’re being transparent or even clever–but others might find you to be a boor.

In other words, distasteful.

But at the root of all comedy–which is really the best doorway to mutual human understanding–is a certain amount of surprising revelation.

Yet there is a reason we disdain bathroom humor, even though we all take a crap.

So what can we share without people squinting and expressing their disapproval over our candor?

Tricky business, huh?

For instance, I could tell you that I enjoy farting. It is very true. But there is a certain amount of my readership that would assert that such a confession is classless. They would feel superior to me. Even if I explained that I try to do most of my farting under the covers, and not welcome others to visit, or that the relief it gives to my tummy has an almost supernatural-salvation sensation, I would still be in danger of being cast into the role of the boor, who must be segregated from the decent folk.

So to keep from being an outcast, I would never, ever admit to you that I relish farting.

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Bean

Bean: (n) a leguminous plant that bears beans in pods.

Dictionary B

Farting is important.

Although we laugh about it and there are even folks who try to avoid it at all costs, it is a sign that we are eating a pretty healthy diet. Once you make a decision to consume broccoli and various forms of beans, your body will produce gas, which will find an exit.

I do believe in God, and one of the reasons I believe is because of the natural humor that exists in life. For instance, the fact that farting is nearly inevitable, sounds hilarious, and then, the topper–it stinks so bad that it can drive people out of a room.

So I must tell you–the God who created us just might favor slapstick humor to cerebral considerations.

So if you eat beans and get all your vitamins and minerals, the by-product will probably be some gas, which will insist on being excreted or exploded, and stinking up the air.

Some people find even the discussion of such a natural process to be distasteful.

There are other folks who think that bathroom humor should be shared freely in the living room.

I am more of a naturalist.

If it’s there, and it’s funny, and it’s part of a good diet … what the hell?

Fart away.

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