Tag Archives: contemplative

Coon

Coon: (n) a raccoon

The only dog I’ve had in my adult life I picked up as a rescue and selected him because he was sitting quietly in the corner, not barking and biting at the other dogs around him.

Little did I know that the reason he was so contemplative was that he was very sick and dying. I spent the first two nights with him sitting on my shoulder, petting him and praying for him. (Some people would think it’s stupid to pray for dogs, but I have a similar humorous reaction to the term “vegan.”)funny wisdom on words that begin with a C
He was advertised as a “beagle mix.”

Much mix.

But one fellow saw him as I was walking him through the park and asked if he could purchase the animal—because he was very interested in owning a “coon dog.”

I was confused. The gentleman explained that what I had was an animal which had so much hound in him that the breeding would show up under certain circumstances in the pursuit of small wildlife.

I just shook my head in disbelief.

He asked permission to take the leash, and he walked my dog toward a small rabbit which was running around in the grass. My mutt stopped, froze like a statue, lifted his nose and stared at the little rabbit like he was offering it for consideration.

The man turned to me and said, “You see? What you got here is a coon hound.”

I laughed and replied, “Looks to me like he’s more of a pointer.”


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Contemplative

Contemplative: (adj) expressing or involving prolonged thought

It is normally considered hazardous to tread on thin ice–due to the fact that the ice will break and you’ll find yourself plunging into frigid waters.

But what if the ice is not supposed to be there? What if it needs to be melted–done away with because a new spring has sprung and it’s timefunny wisdom on words that begin with a C to be finished with chilly weather?

This is how we came up with the term “break the ice.”

So let me step in today and break the thin ice:

Meditation is one of the most dangerous, foolish and unproductive practices that has ever been devised in an attempt to turn people into better souls.

Being contemplative is simply you, walking the aisles of your limited shopping arena in your own brain, and supposedly arrive on ingenious ideas on improving inventory.

But consider–it is your own brain. It’s not being inputted by others. It’s not sapping off of divine grace. Nor is it necessarily even willing to adjudicate the evidence available.

It’s just you–wearing a simple, subtle hat–pretending to be god.

Contemplative people often spend their time trying to soothe themselves in a harried world instead of finding ways to “be of good cheer” on a planet filled with tribulation.

When we get done running from reality and we escape the self-righteousness of thinking that seven minutes with our own brain is a vacation, we might actually be able to use the ears we have to hear what humanity, Mother Earth and even Father God is trying to tell us, instead of merely coughing up mental hairballs of confusion.

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Bazooka

Bazooka: (n) a short-range tubular rocket launcher used against tanks.Dictionary B

I wrote a contemplative movie entitled “The Drive.”

Some people would consider it anti-war but since I don’t really think there are “pro-war” options, let’s leave it with my original representation.

I will not get into the total storyline except to tell you there is an anguished father who decides to wreak revenge on the U.S. Government by trying to assassinate the President of the United States in St. Louis.

He chooses a bazooka as his weapon.

I would assume this is because he knows he’s not a very good shot and wanted a twelve-foot margin of error.

So when it came time to film the project, we were in the market to locate a bazooka. The first few people we asked thought we were referring to the comics from the 1960’s. Rather than contradict their perception, we just quietly hung up the phone.

We finally found a collector of WWII memorabilia who had a bazooka, even with its own case. Fortunately, he did not have the shells for it, so we had to figure out how to stuff firecrackers in the muzzle to make it appear that the long tube was threatening.

As I look back, I realize that finding a bazooka and simulating firing it in public was certainly a dispensation of the time. I can’t imagine how many government watch lists we would be placed on nowadays for even inquiring about such an object.

But we not only fired it, we had a street full of extras who ran away in horror and terror at the onslaught.

It was really quite pungent and effective for a low-budget film, but I must tell you–when the actor pulled that bazooka out of the case, which was in the trunk of his car, a chill went down my spine–one which is duplicated as I write this piece.

May we look forward to the day when “bazooka” will only be remembered as a wise-cracking bubblegum comic.

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