Cranch

Cranch: (v) crunch

 Every once in a while, while minding my own business and enjoying the surroundings, breathing the quality air and musing over the ingredients in the dip adorning my chip, someone will suddenly sideswipe me with a word that is tossed out with the sole intention of being disruptive or pretentious.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

This individual will have spent hours trying to find such a word—or phrase—so as to evoke admiration from a roomful of souls who are relaxing, trying to enjoy themselves in a monosyllabic world.

In such an environment, I heard the word “cranch.”

At first, I did not respond, assuming the person who had spoken perhaps had a lisp or was in a pre-stroke condition. But they continued to say it over and over again until finally I broke down and asked.

“What is cranch?”

The verbal scholar then launched into an explanation of how “cranch” was just another way to say “crunch,” but may have found its origins in blending “crash” and “crunch” together.

I made the mistake of listening. I’m sure you’ve done it before. It’s that moment when you fail to turn your head away, or are unable to doze off quickly, connoting to the person speaking that they have your permission to continue.

The seminar went on and on.

I realized, when he (yes, a male) started into another word, that it was time for me to intercede for my own sanity and stop the onslaught of the teaching binge.

So I created my own little myth. Leaping into the conversation, I explained that not only was “cranch” a blending of “crunch” and “crash,” but it was part of a breakdown of the word.

Everybody looked at me, bewildered. I continued. “Let me give you an example. I crinch. You cranch. We crunch. And the reason we don’t hear these very often,” I explained, “is that crunching is the normal pastime, since it is done mainly in a multiple-person situation.”

It was astounding. Everyone believed me—especially our initial lecturer.

Then I was stuck. Should I tell them I was kidding? I know I probably should have.

But just be prepared and not surprised if one day, someone at a party walks up to you and apologizes for “crinching” his chips too loudly.


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Conducive

Conducive: (adj) making a certain situation or outcome likely or possible.

There is a rumor that’s been going around for almost two thousand years–that the three greatest forces on Earth are faith, hope and love.

It persists.

There have been extravagant attempts to extinguish this trio and replace them with work, money and power, but in the end, there they are–standing tall.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Faith, hope and love.

But there are certain things that are conducive for these three to thrive. If you don’t have them, then it may certainly seem that they’ve gone away, at least for a season.

Faith requires a questioning love. That’s what is conducive to its growth. Questioning because that’s the only way we can put our faith to a true test, to see if it will hold the water necessary to contain the hope we all need.

But faith does not work without love, and I’m talking about the kind of love that appreciates those who launch out and try new things without fear.

Now, hope needs to have a chance to be acted out with a good plan. This is what is conducive to its well-being. Too many committees snuff hope out simply because a cynical spirit refuses to believe that either God or human beings can give their very best in the crunch. I guess we’re stuck with “us” and Him.

Finally, love requires that balance of affection and commitment to be conducive to our real lives. Too much affection and we become overly dependent on the appreciation of others. Too much commitment and we soon forget what it’s like to be inflamed and engorged in passion.

So as you can see, simply extolling faith, hope and love does not help much if we’re not willing to create an atmosphere which is conducive to their breathing.

 

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