Tag Archives: grouchy

Barbecue

Barbecue: (v) to cook meat, fish, or other food on a barbecue.Dictionary B

Annoying.

What is the definition of annoying? Annoying is anything that makes me grouchy instead of allowing me to enjoy the pleasure that was intended for the moment.

  • Barbecues are annoying.
  • Barbecuing, even more annoying.
  • Those who barbecue–annoying most of all.

Am I the only person who wants somebody to fix me a steak, put it on a plate and let me eat it instead of having to listen to the evolution of the whole process or hear the cook explain the tedious measures necessary to garner just the right sauce and tenderness for the meat?

There is more discussion of food at a barbecue than there is unabated joy in devouring it.

And God forbid that you should find yourself standing at the grill next to the Master Chef. By the time you get done listening to a recitation of recipes, mystery ingredients and correct temperatures for the best flavor, you will want to run from the premises and go out and eat a salad.

That’s how serious it is.

Everybody thinks they are an expert on almost everything–but most people eventually admit some weakness.

But not barbecuers.

They are the best, or nothing at all.

That’s why they make silly hats and aprons for the process, as a uniform to go along with the insanity.

So when I find myself invited to one of these escapades, I sit at the furthest table until I am sure that the food is thoroughly cooked, and then, when most people are being bored by the giver of the feast with a lecture on charcoal, I slip in, steal my portion from the platters, and run into the woods to eat … like a scalded bear.

 

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Aspect

Aspect: (n) a particular part or feature of something. dictionary with letter A

Singers should be happy.

Even though I am fully aware there are sad songs, at the end of performing such a dirge, there should be a return to hopeful joy and happiness. It is an aspect of their character which must be manifested in order for them to be of value to the human tribe.

In like manner:

Accountants should be good with numbers. It would be nice if they weren’t grouchy. But since I don’t want to number crunch all the time, the aspect of their character that I am most interested in is accuracy.

We have become too complacent in accepting mediocre ideas simply because we’ve given up on the possibility of things being right.

Politicians should be forthcoming. Just because they aren’t does not mean that we shouldn’t continue to expect that aspect.

Preachers should be non-judgmental and full of the gospel of hope. Honestly, damn them if they’re any other way.

Mothers and fathers should instill confidence in their children instead of forcing them to rebel out of too much worry and interference.

Christmas should be celebrated with joy instead of beleaguered with droll souls who want to point out how “it can really be a sad time of the year.”

There are certain aspects of our journey which need to remain faithful to the common cause of sanity. Otherwise we will begin to accept the banal as the normal.

I am a writer. It is my job to inspire.  To hell with the notion that I’m presenting a dark reality which is the underbelly of society.

It is time for us to enlighten one another instead of extinguishing the fires of hope … pretending it is an action of intellectual maturity.

 

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Anal

dictionary with letter A

Anal: (n) a stage in Freudian psychosis denoting infantile psychosis as seen by a preoccupation with the anus. 2. Anal-retentive: obsessively preoccupied with details.

Perusing this particular definition, I was struck with a notion.

Even though words do have specific meanings, they gradually assimilate into the culture based upon whether we choose to view a thought as positive or negative.

Freud, with his usual obsession for body parts, was quick to point out that “anal,” from his perspective, had something to do with the ass.

Yet in our society, when we refer to somebody as anal, we are connoting an attention to detail–or if we find that attitude unacceptable, we make reference to someone being “picky.”

But I think if you blend the definitions, it’s quite fun, isn’t it?

Because after all, people who don’t take care of their own bum, cleaning it and maintaining its hygiene, will eventually be considered nasty.

Likewise, without a little bit of fussiness about maintaining order and the dignity of things, we will disappoint those around us and convince them quite quickly by exposing the hole in our ass.

  • What is too much attention to detail?
  • What is being picky?

I think three things are necessary to be considered solvent and of sound mind:

1. I don’t make my problems your problems.

Even though we like to help one another through difficulty, the specific dilemma needs to be complex enough to warrant intervention.

2. Generally speaking, I am a person of good cheer.

After all, to be around efficiency which is grouchy makes you soon forget the quality of the work and only remember the cranky.

3. I’m improving.

In other words, we can get by with being inefficient once or twice, but after that, it becomes an annoying vice.

So there is a certain amount of attention to the caboose necessary to maintain a good train.

And as human beings, without being obnoxious … we can still strive toward adequacy.

 

 

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