Tag Archives: solvent

Dad

Dad: (n) informal for father.

It’s really two stories.

There was the story that should have happened and then, the tale that truly unfolded.

It is impossible for me to be an unbeliever. I don’t think I’m gullible, but I have seen enough surprising things come to fruition that I can no longer muster the doubt of Brother Thomas.

For you see, I should never have been a dad.

Don’t misinterpret the statement. I don’t want you to think that I despised the position or even that I wish it had happened differently.

But I also want you to realize that each time I became a dad, there was no planning, no bank account prepared and often not even a correct determination on the time of the blessed arrival.

I shall not get into all of those stories with this one essay.

Suffice it to say, I was a singer, a songwriter, a piano player, a vagabond—and I was a brat about never wanting to work for anyone else. As you can see right there, I perhaps should be eliminated for consideration for “father of the year.”

So I did it all with my children.

While I was teaching them to be better humans, they were teaching me how to be a good dad.

That’s the way it should be.

As long as you’re willing to look like an ass, identify it quickly and then change your mind, your kids will love you to death.

I drug my kids all over the country.

I had them playing instruments on stage in front of audiences.

I home-schooled some of them.

I lost one child along the way to a hit-and-run car accident.

And somehow or another, all the others arrived at adulthood, found magnificent partners, and are living full-blown, solvent, intelligent and spirited lives.

I will take credit for the fact that I was there, remained, repented and transformed.

But still—someone sprinkled something onto the mess, to turn it into a passable casserole.

What does it mean to be a dad?

  1. Be prepared to be watched twenty-four hours a day.
  2. Be prepared to be wrong—and admit it.
  3. Be prepared to laugh at your children when they act like you’re killing them because of a discipline you must levy.
  4. Have a life of your own, so they can see what you think is important.
  5. Encourage their mother in front of them.
  6. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
  7. Take them—your children—very seriously.
  8. When it’s obvious to them that you don’t know what you’re doing, don’t pretend you have a secret plan.
  9. Don’t try to be a best friend to their best friends.
  10. Try as hard as you can to never embarrass them.

Even though I was not a natural, I decided to naturally learn from the experience instead of giving up on it.

Now, my sons are dads.

My grandchildren call them that.

And I sit back in my resolute journey and watch my sons learn how to become “Dad.”

 

Counterproductive

Counterproductive: (adj) tending to defeat one’s purpose

I think it is wisdom to take a moment—maybe even sit down—and consider what it means to be a productive person.

There are five words that come to my mind:

  1. Solvent
  2. Temperate
  3. Loving
  4. Generous
  5. Focused

Now, there may be others, but you can take these five attributes, blend them together and end up with a productive human life.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

So let’s take a moment and consider what is counterproductive.

Starting with Number 1, solvent, I would assume the counter would be financially in need, as impulsive would be the opposite of temperate.

Let’s move along. Shall we say that spiteful might be considered counterproductive to loving? And stingy undoubtedly would discourage generosity.

Distracted certainly is the antithesis of focused.

So what do you get when you put together a human life which is financially in need, impulsive, spiteful, stingy and distracted?

It seems to me that you might end up with the American culture—so intent on individual families that it lacks vision for the entire humanity on Earth, and also so entwined with the Internet that opportunity which often stumbles into the room is ignored in favor of binge-watching.

I’m not so sure you can build a human being of quality, soul or mercy by trying to emphasize counterproductive values.

I think our first step into escaping our own trap of inefficiency is to realize that we’re all in this together—over the seven continents, all of the countries, all the races, all the religions and both genders.

In doing so, we might begin to produce instead of having our fruit rot on the vine.


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Bar mitzvah

Bar mitzvah: (n) the religious initiation ceremony of a Jewish boy who has reached the age of 13Dictionary B

I’m not Jewish. Matter of fact, I’ve never played Jewish on television.

Years ago I surgically removed “Judeo” from my Christianity. It’s not because I have any resentments against the Jewish race–it’s just that I like my Jesus ala carte.

But I have to admit, I find the Jewish tradition of the bar mitzvah very enlightening because it brings to the forefront a valuable question: when does a boy become a man?

The Jewish people had it figured this way: the dude has a penis, he’s grown some hair, it’s ready to do business, so we better make him a man.

Therefore there was a lot of responsibility on Jewish moms and dads to mature their children to mental, spiritual and emotional adulthood before unleashing them into a possibility of procreation.

I assume they took this seriously.

We in the Western world have decided to forego this mission and instead, put off calling someone a man until he is emotionally, financially and mentally solvent.

  • At one time we considered this to be 16 years of age.
  • We then had to revise to 18.
  • 21 seemed popular for a while.
  • And now we’re not so sure anyone actually matures until age 30.

So according to our culture, probably more than one-third of your life is gone before you are prepared to have a family, house, and affect change in your neighborhood.

It gives you pause for thought.

That comes to 17 years of having a full-fledged sexual member which is on the hunt for satisfaction … ruled by a brain that is still focusing on video games.

 

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Average

Average: (adj) mean or median norm, meaning something that represents a middle point.

It caused me to become a better man, dad, writer, musician, driver, shopper, handler of money and general human being.dictionary with letter A

The day I realized that everything in life eventually averages out and lands in the realm of modicum was the time that I finally knew how to set my goals.

Let me give you an example:

When I looked over at the batch of children hatched from my lust and whim, I thought to myself, what do I want these little dudes to be in 25 years?

At first, my list of requests and preferences was too long. And then I came up with three words:

  • Solvent
  • Loving
  • Creative

With that in mind, I developed my parenting approach.

To make sure they were solvent, I never gave them money without giving them work. Why? Because the only ways to get money other than working for it is winning the lottery and stealing. You can see why I chose what I did. They did not always like the work, and their work was usually pretty mediocre. But even an average work ethic pushed them to the front of the class.

To make them loving, I forced them to go see people who were not very lovely–hurting, frustrated, addicted and poverty-stricken. They were somewhat repulsed, but still ended up much more empathetic than some of their friends.

And finally, creative. Every time they wanted me to buy them something, do something for them or get them off the hook for using their talents, I refused and made them produce something with their own hearts and hands, even though I must tell you, the result was often so ugly that I needed to quickly bury it in the back yard.

Still, they knew they were responsible to come to Earth and provide resources instead of just consume them.

Since human beings will generally end up average, it’s a good idea to have a standard. That’s why we keep Santa Claus around–he reminds us of the importance of giving.

And we maintain a belief in God, although we’re not sure…because He encourages us to find our better humanity. 

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Anal

dictionary with letter A

Anal: (n) a stage in Freudian psychosis denoting infantile psychosis as seen by a preoccupation with the anus. 2. Anal-retentive: obsessively preoccupied with details.

Perusing this particular definition, I was struck with a notion.

Even though words do have specific meanings, they gradually assimilate into the culture based upon whether we choose to view a thought as positive or negative.

Freud, with his usual obsession for body parts, was quick to point out that “anal,” from his perspective, had something to do with the ass.

Yet in our society, when we refer to somebody as anal, we are connoting an attention to detail–or if we find that attitude unacceptable, we make reference to someone being “picky.”

But I think if you blend the definitions, it’s quite fun, isn’t it?

Because after all, people who don’t take care of their own bum, cleaning it and maintaining its hygiene, will eventually be considered nasty.

Likewise, without a little bit of fussiness about maintaining order and the dignity of things, we will disappoint those around us and convince them quite quickly by exposing the hole in our ass.

  • What is too much attention to detail?
  • What is being picky?

I think three things are necessary to be considered solvent and of sound mind:

1. I don’t make my problems your problems.

Even though we like to help one another through difficulty, the specific dilemma needs to be complex enough to warrant intervention.

2. Generally speaking, I am a person of good cheer.

After all, to be around efficiency which is grouchy makes you soon forget the quality of the work and only remember the cranky.

3. I’m improving.

In other words, we can get by with being inefficient once or twice, but after that, it becomes an annoying vice.

So there is a certain amount of attention to the caboose necessary to maintain a good train.

And as human beings, without being obnoxious … we can still strive toward adequacy.

 

 

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Abundance

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Abundance: (n.) 1. a very large quantity of something. 2. the state of having a copious quantity: vines and figs grew in abundance

Is abundance too much? Or is abundance just enough to satisfy our human need for greed? Or perhaps it an adequacy which we have finally determined is acceptable for our well-being.

I once met a man in a park who was homeless. I don’t particularly like the term “homeless” because I think it connotes irresponsibility, but for lack of a better phrasing, we’ll just say the man had no permanent address for mail delivery.

After a five-minute conversation, in which we talked about everything in the world, including a bit of politics and religion, I asked him if there was anything I could do to help him. He smiled at me and said, “No. I have an abundance.”

I glanced at his shopping cart, which contained all the possessions he had in the world. Noting my countenance of disbelief, he laughed. He said, “You see, the problem with owning things is that’s there’s always something bigger and better of the same thing you have, which chides you until you chase it down. I have abundance because I’ve decided not to yearn anymore.”

I walked away that day interested in his words, but certainly not convinced. After all, I’m an American. I measure my success by gain, not pain. I determine my stature by opening up my computer and looking at a bank account to confirm that I’m not only solvent, but may be able to pick up lunch at Red Lobster tomorrow. I’m not even especially enamored by the words of a poet in a park, who tries to make possessions seem meaningless.

But I do have one variation on the typical American theme of prosperity. I think the greatest joy in abundance is knowing that there is a certain box of goodness and blessing that you can tuck away and save for an opportunity to give to others without trepidation.

Yes, the power of having abundance is to free your mind of the anxiety of need in order to step in and assist others, adding to your own abundance with a warm heart and the tingly sensation that some goodness has been achieved.

A great man once said, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”

I think that’s true. If we would look on our abundance as a means of expressing ourselves instead of proving ourselves, then the amount we have would not taunt our souls with selfishness, but instead, would provide an opportunity to be magnanimous.