Conservation

Conservation: (n) the action of conserving something

There are many noble causes, but each is ill-served by advocates who are bratty and self-righteous.

I am more than willing to listen to anyone explain the importance of a rain forest or even why it is good to keep the glaciers frozen. What I will funny wisdom on words that begin with a C
not tolerate is an individual who thinks I am ignorant because I don’t already know it, or judges my reaction as being insufficient to the need.

It is actually quite possible to plant more trees without hugging the existing ones.

It is certainly powerful to enjoy Christmas without insisting that everyone react to it and celebrate it exactly the same way you do.

Conservation always puts our eyes too much on the affairs and lifestyle of others. We begin to believe that our cause is so significant that anyone who might suggest we are a trifle overwrought is an enemy of life or God.

Perspective.

Here is the perspective, and order of importance, for Planet Earth:

  • People
  • Animals
  • Trees
  • And video games (I’m just trying to gear this to the Millennials.)

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Borne

Borne: (adj) past participle of bear

For centuries it was a common belief that a pile of garbage spawned flies.Dictionary B

Yes, it was thought that the reeking mess and putrid odor generated the life of the common pest.

It wasn’t really until a couple hundred years ago that we finally concluded that the flies existed elsewhere and were drawn to the garbage, which begs the question:

What would flies do if we didn’t provide them stink?

Likewise, what would be borne out in our society if we did not constantly advertise the more nauseating aspects of human behavior?

After all, it’s not video games, pornography and violent movies which birth terrorists and murderers. But there’s no doubt that the terrorists and murderers are drawn to mediocre fare.

What if we allowed our conscience to consider what type of creatures are stimulated by our art, our words, our politics, our religion and our attitudes?

Is it our responsibility to take authority over what we produce and make sure it isn’t a bar for the fly?

Or are we to assume that in the absence of trash, flies would just develop a hankering for caviar?

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Biological Clock

Biological clock: (n) an innate mechanism that controls the physiological activities

Dictionary B

Some years ago, a friend asked me to come and stay at his house. He showed me my room and when I noticed that the alarm clock sitting next to the bed had the incorrect time, he explained that I was welcome to try to change it, but that he had found that the clock always reverted to being exactly fifty-two minutes fast.

So rather than throwing it away, he had decided to adjust.

I squinted at him, a bit perturbed, but during my week-long stay, found myself becoming quite adept at time-transfer.

I bring this little story up because to a large degree, we have done this with the human race.

We have totally ignored the natural biological time schedule of human growth, and instead have inserted a social structure which has nothing to do with the reality of our personal timetable.

In other words, puberty begins in the early teens–but we strongly suggest that people refrain from marriage until their early thirties.

A woman’s primal time for having babies is 14-35, but if we don’t marry until we are thirty, then there has to be a real rush if we’re going to squeeze in our 1.8 children into the statistical anomaly.

I suppose we could try to become more sensitive to the natural order of human activity, but that would require that we ask our children to skip being rebellious, foolish and slackered teenagers and instead, take on the mantle of adulthood much earlier.

This would be ridiculous.

What would we ever do with video games, juvenile detention centers, drug rehabilitation facilities and over-expenditure on trendy clothes? We might actually infuse premature emotional stability and spirituality into our offspring before they have a chance to sow wild oats–which, by the way, are rarely usable for making bread.Donate Button

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Bar mitzvah

Bar mitzvah: (n) the religious initiation ceremony of a Jewish boy who has reached the age of 13Dictionary B

I’m not Jewish. Matter of fact, I’ve never played Jewish on television.

Years ago I surgically removed “Judeo” from my Christianity. It’s not because I have any resentments against the Jewish race–it’s just that I like my Jesus ala carte.

But I have to admit, I find the Jewish tradition of the bar mitzvah very enlightening because it brings to the forefront a valuable question: when does a boy become a man?

The Jewish people had it figured this way: the dude has a penis, he’s grown some hair, it’s ready to do business, so we better make him a man.

Therefore there was a lot of responsibility on Jewish moms and dads to mature their children to mental, spiritual and emotional adulthood before unleashing them into a possibility of procreation.

I assume they took this seriously.

We in the Western world have decided to forego this mission and instead, put off calling someone a man until he is emotionally, financially and mentally solvent.

  • At one time we considered this to be 16 years of age.
  • We then had to revise to 18.
  • 21 seemed popular for a while.
  • And now we’re not so sure anyone actually matures until age 30.

So according to our culture, probably more than one-third of your life is gone before you are prepared to have a family, house, and affect change in your neighborhood.

It gives you pause for thought.

That comes to 17 years of having a full-fledged sexual member which is on the hunt for satisfaction … ruled by a brain that is still focusing on video games.

 

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Accouchement

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Accouchement: (n.) the action of giving birth to a baby.

Here’s the scenario–a series of “if’s and then’s.” In other words, IF I got myself in the situation, THEN I would be able to do the following:

If I was invited into a room where a woman was about to give birth and I found her in distress then it might be a good idea to have this word, “accouchement” to throw into the mix, partly to make it clear that I was a well-educated and informative sort, but also as a distraction.

And of course, it would have to be timed perfectly. Just as she was about to have a contraction, I could blurt out, “I’m certainly delighted to be here at your accouchement!”

Surprised and probably a bit alarmed by the new word springing into the air, her mind would be removed from the pangs of childbirth as she looked at me, bewildered, and said, “What???”

I could then time my answer to coordinate with the length of the contraction, and relieve her of giving too much focus to the travail.

If I were successful, then later on, after the child was born–perhaps at the kid’s high school graduation–we could laugh about the incident, and she might make a nice, gentle remark, such as: “Mentioning that strange word was very helpful to me at that point in my life.”

I might sprout a tear in the corner of my right eye and be grateful for the power of the vernacular.

Other than that, I have no damn idea why that word exists.