Credo

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Credo: (n) any formula of belief

Sum it up.

Capsulize it.

Maybe it’s the proverbial “elevator pitch.”

Do you have a sentence, a thought, a spiel, a bumper sticker or a punchline to describe your credo?

If you do not select one, unfortunately, one will be selected for you. There are three credos available if we do not decide to champion one of our own:

  1. “I’m just doing the best I can.”
  2. Family first.
  3. Get what you can.

I think you would have to agree with me that none of these catchphrases are particularly inspiring. Yet if you do not purposely set in motion an energy through your own lifestyle that steers your thinking and guides your actions, you will find yourself stuck in one of these dead-end streets.

Just think about it.: carved, perhaps etched into the features of the majority of the human beings you meet is one of this trio of default profiles.

No, you have to sit down and form your credo.

Then take the intelligence you’ve accumulated, remain faithful to it and find excellent ways to execute your personal precept. And do not be ashamed when your credo is exposed, and you are unveiled as a disciple of its tenet.

So this really got me thinking. I have many things that cross my mind that are important or stir the ashes of my fire into a flame. But what would be the single credo? What could I say to my fellow-travelers that would let them know who I am and that they need not fear my presence?

I think I’ve got it.

I even believe that my credo would make a lovely little sign I could wear around my neck. It is simple:

Open for business. Joy required.

 

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Counterterrorism

Counterterrorism: (n) terrorism in retaliation for some previous act of terrorism.

Some things sound good:

  • Recycling
  • Therapy
  • Teeth brushing
  • A diet
  • Losing weight
  • Gaining confidence
  • And … counterterrorism.

Yet before we launch into any one of these seemingly noble pursuits, maybe we should ask what the price tag is on achieving them.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

How much effort does it take to recycle, considering the benefit achieved?

How effective is therapy in light of the expense and length of time it takes to acquire some sense of balance?

How many times a day should teeth be brushed before it seems the only taste in the mouth is paste?

How many calories should each of us consume to maintain our health without increasing our waistline?

How much weight is it necessary for us to lose, when we know that losing weight can also be the first sign of severe illness?

When are we gaining confidence, and at what point does it become promo talk, which is not necessarily backed up by our actual abilities or actions?

And when is counterterrorism the needful action, and how many freedoms will have to be jettisoned from our lifestyle to assure us that we are safe from religious and political maniacs who have axes to grind which were forged back in the Middle Ages?

And for that matter, when is our counterterrorism considered by a citizen of another country to be terrorism, considering the pain it inflicts and the death toll it produces? I believe there are three steps necessary to counterterrorism:

  1. Put together the finest investigators, interrogators and infiltrators as possible
  2. Find terrorists and make sure they are determined to kill innocent people
  3. Quietly kill them first, without telling anybody else, and letting the world know about their cause.

Terrorists love to terrorize because it makes them feel powerful. If you remove the notoriety, and they feel insecure to go to bed at night for fear that their mattress might explode, you just might discourage the practice.


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Conservation

Conservation: (n) the action of conserving something

There are many noble causes, but each is ill-served by advocates who are bratty and self-righteous.

I am more than willing to listen to anyone explain the importance of a rain forest or even why it is good to keep the glaciers frozen. What I will funny wisdom on words that begin with a C
not tolerate is an individual who thinks I am ignorant because I don’t already know it, or judges my reaction as being insufficient to the need.

It is actually quite possible to plant more trees without hugging the existing ones.

It is certainly powerful to enjoy Christmas without insisting that everyone react to it and celebrate it exactly the same way you do.

Conservation always puts our eyes too much on the affairs and lifestyle of others. We begin to believe that our cause is so significant that anyone who might suggest we are a trifle overwrought is an enemy of life or God.

Perspective.

Here is the perspective, and order of importance, for Planet Earth:

  • People
  • Animals
  • Trees
  • And video games (I’m just trying to gear this to the Millennials.)

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Conceive

Conceive: (v) to form or devise a plan

“The imaginations of a man’s heart are evil continually from his youth.”

Rather than considering this a degrading statement from the Good Book, we should understand that it is the working climate and funny wisdom on words that begin with a C
environment that exists in the interactions of human beings, as we attempt to move forward beyond our jungle roots to a lifestyle with a higher sensitivity.

What we’re working on is how we conceive things.

If every woman is just a storage house for a pair of breasts and a vagina, and every man has to be concerned about the length of his penis, as every country contends that it is the first and the best, and all religions struggle for supernal supremacy, it is a good idea to slow down and realize that since we normally conceive things in wickedness, it might be healthy to saturate ourselves in contentment and find deeper and purer motives for our actions.

We don’t have to.

We can become defensive and think that since everybody else is so rudely constructed, we must maintain our lack of civility if we want to survive.

Yet in a rock fight, the only people who escape injury are those who refuse to throw rocks, but instead, retreat to contemplate richer and more enlightened solutions.

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Coach

Coach: (n) a person who teaches and trains the members of a sports team

The same tenacity and grit which is necessary to make one successful can just as easily be used to commence a life of crime.

This is the difficulty the adults in our lives face when they train us, and of course, coach us.

They certainly know that initiative, spunk and creativity are essential for forming the building blocks of a prosperous lifestyle. Yet in the moment, these particular attributes, especially when spoken from the nasally nastiness of adolescence, can be obnoxious.

So our instructors often have to find out whether our conduct, being sweet and kind, is a foretelling of goodness or brain death–and if our unwanted opinions prophesy greatness or the possibility of time spent “upstate.”

Let me give you an example.

During a football game, when we were losing 48 to nothing, I ran to the sideline and said the following to my coach: “Come on, coach! This defense you put together for us is just not working!”

I was fourteen at the time, and he was probably in his mid-twenties, trying desperately to survive the humiliation of being drummed by his rival on this field of debauchery.

I noticed that my coach’s face began to twitch. His eyes expanded. The veins in his head popped out, and his countenance became crimson as he slowly said, “Please sit down. Our defense is fine.”

I noticed that he avoided me for the rest of the game, as I avoided many tackles.

Fortunately, he did not personally address my inadequacies and focus on them because of my snippy, snarky comment. He restrained himself, and therefore, I believe I grew up using my precocious nature for good instead of joining forces with the villains to destroy Batman.

It’s not easy being a coach. You don’t always win, but end up stuck with your team, no matter what the score. You can’t blame them or you look like an idiot. You can’t accuse the referees or you appear to be a sore loser.

All you can do is teach what you know, and hope, by the grace of God, it’s enough.

 

 

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Clod

Clod: (n) a stupid person

A novel, noble notion just came to my brain. If I could turn it into a lifestyle choice, I might just transform myself a decent human being.

No promises.

What if I could tell myself that I will not criticize, condemn, mock or marginalize any other person who is doing something that I have–at least once–done myself?

Can you imagine that?

Can you comprehend how much ammunition I would remove from my “judgment gun?”

For I will tell you for certain: I have been a clod.

I have been a stumbling, bumbling sweaty mess of gelatin, trying desperately to impress, as I proceeded to diminish any confirmation that I had a brain in my head.

I fumbled.

I bumbled.

I said the wrong thing at the wrong time, and failed to do what was right to the right person.

I have been a clod.

I have been a stranger in a strange land, and that land was “Intelligence.”

I am clumsy–often without excuse, still feeling the need to make one.

If I could just learn that such weakness is much more acceptable if I do not treat others differently than I want to be treated myself.

For you being a clod is no different from me being a clod, which is absolutely the same thing as “clod-dom” everywhere.

Yes, if I would just stop condemning those who have done what I have also done, I would lighten my emotional workload by at least a ton–every single day.

 

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Buck

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Buck: (n) slang for a dollar

I don’t know who gets to decide what’s important and what isn’t.

I’m not really sure how we place value on one thing while assigning insignificance to another.

For instance, a buck private in the army is the lowest rank, yet no war can be won Dictionary Bwithout thousands of them.

There are times when a single dollar bill seemed so unimportant to me that I joked around with a friend and took a match and burned it, just to see what it felt like.

Then there were occasions when I rummaged through the seat cushions of my car because I thought I remembered dropping a dollar bill down there.

Also, if there’s some sort of problem when “the buck stops”–and it more than likely will be here–maybe it would be a good idea to do more to prepare for buck stoppage.

  • What is important, what is worthless?
  • What is without value, and what is invaluable?

There is one constant mistake humans make which triggers all the afflictions that trouble our species: we misuse what we have because we’re either anticipating or demanding more.

Just solving that misdemeanor can set in motion a lifestyle which salvages the little … and transforms it into much.

 

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