Cake: (n) an item of soft, sweet food, baked and often decorated.
I don’t like cake, I like frosting.
There are times I was willing to eat a little cake to get the last portion of frosting. I have gone to weddings and parties and observed people
who eat the cake and leave the frosting. They feel very pious about this. They will even crinkle their nose and say, “The frosting is too sweet.”
It is so sweet that you can taste the granules of sugar in your mouth.
Because of this yearning for frosting, I have learned not to eat cake. People offer it to me all the time at receptions and I turn it down, even when they tell me it’s sugar free.
The frosting is never sugar free. The frosting is delicious. The frosting is like devouring the living organs of the body of sweetness.
It is magnificent.
They even make frostings that have different flavors, textures and of course, coloration.
I cannot think about cake without musing over frosting.
When I was a boy, I once encouraged my mother to put less frosting on a birthday cake so that she would have half-a-can left, to place in the refrigerator, so I could sneak in later and slurp it up.
This required a rehab.
So let me say, part of my twelve-step program is to never eat cake because it’s tenderly caressed by irresistible frosting.