Words from Dic(tionary)
Alimony: (n) a husband or wife’s court-ordered provision for a spouse after a divorce.
It comes down to discovering when it is permissible to be emotional. I personally think it is good to be emotional about spiritual things:
- Loving your neighbor as yourself.
- Feeling compassion for those in need.
- And getting more juiced up about singing the praises of life instead of droning out a dull hymn.
On the other hand, when it comes to matters of the heart, I think running our lives solely on emotional data is very dangerous. Basically, the typical American marriage runs in three phases:
- You are so hot I can’t keep my hands off you.
- It’s been a while since we’ve been hot–maybe we should get our hands on each other.
- Hands off.
The reason this happens is because we don’t take into consideration the many aspects of marriage other than sexual ecstacy. Let me tell you what I think the four things are that make up a good marriage, and how I believe each one is perfectly balanced by keeping an eye on the others.
1. Sex. Actually, I think it should be in fourth place, because it turns out that it’s better after the other three have been enacted with fervor. But I’ll keep it at the top of the list to keep your interest in my article.
2. Finance. Partnering with someone else is often a good way to stay solvent. If not, you have to start doing things like paying child support, alimony and lawyers to be your mouthpiece.
3. Status. Our society is set up for people to be together, work together, plan together and even interact fiscally in pairs.
4. Children. Once you give up on a marriage, whether you like it or not, the earthquake sends aftershocks through the entire family. You can fake it, act mature, and present yourselves as upbeat individuals who can maintain two or three different lives, but even though divorce and child custody are practiced in our society, our art and entertainment more truthfully portray them as implausible.
If two intelligent people will figure out a way to hold things together because of the children, consider the status they have by being united, garner the potential of the second income, and then take a bit of giddiness from the three discoveries into the bedroom, you might be surprised how many people could stay together, instead of chasing the dream of new genitalia.
Yes, being adult is considering the plus and the minus in every situation, and discovering a great compromise. Short of abuse or neglect, marriage can avoid alimony by appreciating what we’ve got and working with it, knowing that just like the seasons … hot and cold come in their time.