Tag Archives: self-confidence

Beefcake

Beefcake: (n) an attractive man with well-developed muscles.Dictionary B

On those rare occasions when I find myself naked, I always avert my eyes from looking in the mirror.

Matter of fact, I’m a little reluctant to share that thought, because there are individuals who would consider my decision to not view my body as a negative or a sign of insecurity.

Honestly, I just find it smart.

There are only two things that can happen when you look in the mirror: some form of disgust, or an intruding pride.

In both cases, there is little benefit.

If I think I’m ugly, confirming that by my reflection is not helpful to the self-confidence required for me to survive a normal day.

Then again, if I peer into the mirror and believe myself to be beautiful–a beefcake–then an obnoxious pride will make me ill-suited to interact with those who may not completely agree with my assessment.

I also have known many women over the years, and will tell you that they are the most gentle, forgiving and open-minded beings on Earth concerning the physical weaknesses of the men who have come into their space. I suppose there are ladies who want to peer at men’s bodies with a lascivious leer, but women often close their eyes, allowing their imaginations to fill in the blanks to stimulate adequate lust for a great sexual encounter.

I am not a beefcake.

I am not willing to do what is necessary to become a beefcake.

So I am looking for friends and women … who have a sweet tooth for a cream puff.

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Aplomb

dictionary with letter A

Aplomb (n.) calm self-confidence.

When I was growing up there was a game called “Pick-Up Sticks,” where everything was thrown down in a pile, and I had the job of picking up the sticks from the pile without disturbing the other sticks around it.

It was nerve-wracking–very similar, matter of fact, to the game Operation, in which you had a pair of tweezers to remove a plastic body part without getting buzzed by touching the sides.

That’s why I find it difficult to justify the word “calm” and the idea of “self-confidence” being linked together.

Because I will tell you, self-confidence is a house of cards.

Those who truly believe they are full of it … well, are usually full of it. They are trapped in a misconception that what they bring to the table is sufficient without any addition and certainly without correction. It is a dangerous profile which robs you of your calm because humanity is very willing to remind you of your lack and remove all praise in the process.

Actually, I think the best way to become jaded is to insist on a profile of self-confidence. You will quickly find that a situation comes up beyond your scope and requires some adjustment–and if you don’t, you end up looking foolish, or worse, rationalizing your lame efforts.

If I were defining the word “aplomb,” I would say it’s a “calm use of true humility.”

Humility is much better than self-confidence simply because humility demands that you show up with some stats and facts, otherwise you’re not being humble–just unrealistic. And also, humility opens the door to the realization that since you had to learn what you’ve done so far, the possibility for additional learning is likely.

I meet many people who would insist that they’re self-confident. Matter of fact, they wear it as a badge of honor, unaware that it is actually a cloak of deception, leaving all parties who don the masquerade eventually looking over-dressed.

The reason I am calm is not because i believe I am sufficient. I find peace in my soul because I realize that the same humility which allowed me to do some great things will prepare me to gain the wisdom to do more.

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