Cynical

Cynical: (adj) bitterly or sneeringly distrustful, contemptuous, or pessimistic

I can’t imagine what goddamn reason I can come up with for writing these essays every day of my life.

Am I so freakishly insecure that I must beg at the feet of the inconsiderate and preoccupied?

Did I get turned down too many times in high school for dates, causing me to yearn for some glance of approval?

I don’t know.

But it certainly can’t be to win over your affection.

Do you have any? I mean, outside of your great admiration for the mirror and thousands of pictures of your children on your Facebook account.

Is there anything that moves you—except when your dog stands in a cute position just prior to pooping on your floor?

Am I really supposed to survive another season of pretending to encourage the illiterate American public to go to a voting booth to pull the lever for the person they think is the most obnoxious in his or her ads?

I don’t know what possesses my soul—if I have one—to contend that one more feeble attempt from my weary writer’s brain will perhaps dent the surface of the Planet Mars, which is level of the American public’s receptivity.

What is wrong with me?

Who would possibly care about a word from the dictionary which I happen to explore from the perspective of my journey?

Isn’t there another rerun of a remake on Netflix that could provide a binge-watch for bragging rights?

Now understand, this was not written in an effort to be cynical.

It is cynical.

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Couch Potato

Couch potato: (n) a person whose leisure time is spent watching television.

Quietly listen or observe the contradictions around you and you will be able to accurately assess what is true and what is just the present jabbering fad.

For I will tell you, it is completely impossible to be so busy that you “just don’t know what you’re going to do,” and still have enough time to binge-watch a television show or an Internet series.

One of these two thoughts does not go with the other.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

In similar fashion, it is highly unlikely that we are on the verge of equality between men and women when every romantic comedy has a female protagonist who is completely dissatisfied with her life of business success and financial gain, but according to the plot of the screenplay, must find a man or she will be despaired.

Likewise, be careful listening to those who threaten that couch potatoes—people who spend more time sitting than moving—are in great danger of shortening their lives.

It’s a toss-up.

I’ve met people a hundred years old who worked hard all their days—and just as many who may have never actually gotten out of a chair.

There doesn’t seem to be any universal reasoning for who gets heart disease, the big C, a stroke or any other variety of deadly disorders simply based on whether they rose from their couch and walked around more than anyone else.

Matter of fact, I have bought potatoes at the store, put them into my pantry, and come back many weeks later and found that they were still edible. Potatoes seem to have an impressive lifespan.

So beware those who think they can sum up everything in life with an exercise program or people who think what you eat doesn’t make any difference at all.

Here’s a clue—an idea that just might have legs and feet:

If you’re planning on binge-watching something like “Game of Thrones” for the next eight hours, just make sure you’re snacking on salads and seeds instead of pizza and Big Macs.


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