Cotillion

Cotillion: (n) a formal ball given especially for debutantes.

A cotillion used to be subtitled “a coming out ball.”

Now that phrase would evoke great laughter—because “coming out” means something completely different from it did when we were funny wisdom on words that begin with a C
referring to the first time a sixteen-year-old girl was dressing up like a woman and spraying perfume in her hair.

Somewhere lodged between the fallacy that “everything in the past was better” and the hard sell of “everything now is superior” lies some sort of compromise.

Maybe if we approached the passage of time similarly to the way we eat food at a smorgasbord, we might just arrive at a blending of practices which would be satisfying and beneficial to our well-being. For after all, at a buffet you grab a plate and walk the line, take a little bit of half-a-dozen or more items, go sit down and discover what is pleasing to the palate.

This is exactly what I try to do with my human life.

I have no desire to live in the past, filled with disease, pestilence and prejudice. Yet I’m not particularly satisfied with being overwhelmed in the present, with forms of idiocy which have merely donned contemporary costumes.

I do like a little bit of the cotillion to go along with my Facebook and Instagram.

I like the idea of the transitions in life being honored with celebration and a touch of reverence instead of the crude way of thinking that a young girl becomes a woman by losing her virginity.

How can we balance the human heart, spirit and brain? The heart wants to be moved, the spirit wants to be inspired and the brain desires learning.

So I guess my goal is to feel my way along, looking for those things that inspire me, and then try to make them my own.


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Buffet

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Buffet: (n) a meal consisting of several dishes from which guests serve themselves.

When you take the time to sort out all the lies, half-truths, misinformation and even fake news, what remainsDictionary B is the truth. It’s a little dusty from being ignored, and even a bit stained from some stinky neighbors, but it’s still the truth.

Here’s one of them: fat people should not frequent “all you can eat” buffets.

Even though a majority of the population of China is slender, if you find yourself at a Chinese buffet, you will not see anyone who is not fat. You may say to yourself, “That’s an exaggeration.”

But just go–look around. And make sure there’s a mirror nearby.

Once Chinese food has been Americanized with sodium, sugar, flour and frying, it loses all its capability to make you a skinny-ass Chinaman.

You see what I mean?

Certainly there are individual dishes at Chinese buffets which are lower in calories than others, but usually they’re ignored, like your younger sister who has a little bit of a mustache.

From time to time, I go on stints of fevered and passionate weight loss. Certain foods need to be memories–hopefully not too fond, or I may return for a reunion.

But one place I definitely cannot frequent is a Chinese buffet, where I pretend to count calories in food that contains many secrets…hidden behind the Great Wall of recipes.

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Breathalyzer

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Breathalyzer: (n) a device used by police for measuring the amount of alcohol in a driver’s breath.

Intolerance always enters our lives when we fail to recognize our own weakness as being equally pathetic to the vices we condemn.

I have never been a drinker. Yet I don’t want to be a self-righteous tee-totaler.Dictionary B

It’s so easy to be critical of those who drink too much, drive, and are prosecuted because of the results of a breathalyzer. Driving while intoxicated is dangerous–often lethal.

Yet by the same token, I find myself somewhat bewitched by food.

They do not have a breathalyzer test for pork chops–but I have driven home from a buffet many times having eaten to the point of nausea, getting sleepy behind the wheel because my blood sugar was soaring to the stars. But no policeman would ever insinuate I was endangering the lives of others.

Please don’t misunderstand my point. Alcohol is dangerous.

Yet there are many people who can eat three-and-a half ounces of meat and be completely satisfied without becoming intoxicated by a caloric binge.

I just want to keep my tolerance available to me when I run across those who fall victim to vice and depravity.

I, too, am weak.

The fact that my consumption does not end up in a courtroom does not alter the situation.

Thank God for breathalyzers because they do keep people off the road who are primed for an accident.

But the piece of humanity we need to always keep in mind is that each one of us has peccadilloes–which if we pick at the wrong moment, can end up being anything from a sin to a crime.

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Abjure

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Abjure: v. solemnly renounce (a belief, cause or claim): his refusal to abjure the Catholic faith

I was trying to figure out if I’m EVER solemn. I guess my definition for “solemn” would be to give a placid response to any given situation, thus appearing to be in control and without excess emotional baggage.

I don’t see how you can “solemnly renounce.” Isn’t that an oxymoron? “Solemn” means you’re calm and “renounce” requires you to actively reject.

I think I would be really uncomfortable with anyone who would “solemnly” renounce anything. If it’s worth renouncing, it would certainly require raising a few blood pressure points as you walk away in disgust. And if you’re NOT that invested in it–so that you could be solemn–it’s not really renouncing, now, is it? It’s more like choosing not to get another helping of something or other in the great buffet of life.

Maybe that’s the problem in our generation. We want to come across like we’re “solemnly renouncing” things. We want our hot-headed to appear cool.  I believe that particular mixture would make you even out at lukewarm.

Yeah. That pretty well describes things, doesn’ t it? A lukewarm rendition of a once-hot meal that doesn’t even have the benefit of being eaten cold.

I guess I don’t “abjure” much…

If it’s important enough for me to participate in it, I bring my passion–both in favor and in disfavor to the cause. If it requires solemnity, I just usually go to bed and go to sleep.

It’s a funny time, isn’t it? A season in life when we come up with solemn renouncement like we’re proclaiming, “It’s a funny time” instead of being more forthcoming, by calling it “crap.”