Cobweb

Cobweb: a spider’s web, especially when old and covered with dust

I have watched with some nervous curiosity as a confident individual handles a snake.

They always seem to feel it is hilarious to offer the snake in my direction, waiting for me to step back in horror to ​provide​ them a hideous giggle. But everyone has small “somethings” that turn us into nutty little girls, running away in terror from a bee.

The other night I was sitting in the living room with my son, who is a large, burly man, when he suddenly winced and shimmied in his chair because a fly had come close to his ear. He was adequately embarrassed so I did not tease him, though greatly tempted.

​Yet ​I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone walk through cobwebs with​out​ getting an icky face and batting with their hands in all directions to rid themselves of the sticky strings.

I once owned a house near a lake. I built a beautiful porch. Every morning there was a spider web in one corner. I took a broom and swept it away, but the next day it would be back again. I asked a friend about it and he said, “Well, the only way to get rid of the cobweb is to kill the spider. Otherwise, ​it​ will just continue to do ​its job faithfully.”

After all, a spider web is just a home for a spider, which doubles as a trap for flies so he can get good eats. It’s a rather ingenious ​invention​.

If I could figure out how to turn my house into a trap for hamburgers, steaks and fried chicken, I’d do it, too.​

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Boy Scout

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Boy Scout: (n) a member of the Boy Scouts of America

I tried to join. I really did.

It’s not that I was interested in campfires, forest animals or hiking. It’s just that one of my friends was a Boy Scout, and he convinced me we could have more time goofing off together if I donned the scarf and signed on the dotted line.Dictionary B

So I came for an interview with Mr. Randall, the Scout leader. He was an interesting man. He was not married, but very fussy, with a soft voice. In my day and age, we just considered him to be an oddball. Today I think most people would assume he was gay.

Yet he was dedicated to the Boy Scout cause.

He could tie a knot in anything.

And all the guys from the troop really respected him and loved him, although some of the more judgmental mothers were a little frightened that his softer ways might rub off on their masculine munchkins.

My interview with Mr. Randall did not go well.

It began to deteriorate when he took my measurements for a uniform, and realized it was unavailable except in the adult leadership size. So he set out, in a very kind way, to discourage me from joining the Boy Scouts, explaining all of the walking, lifting, carrying and struggles involved in a weekend pack meeting.

His technique was very effective. Even though I wanted to have a yellow scarf and a Scout uniform, I was not willing to pay the price for such a benefit.

By the way, Mr. Randall did not stay in our community too long. I never knew the entire story, but eventually, one by one, the young men who were receiving great training and quality lifestyle direction from this leader, left the scout troop at the bequest of their mothers and fathers.

Soon Mr. Randall was a troop leader … with no troop.

 

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Bogeyman

Bogeyman: (n) an imaginary evil spirit

Dictionary B

Often the only way to expose fear for its foolishness is to be willing to live out the reality of what truly frightens us.

In other words, if I could go back to being a six-year-old child who was told to stay in his bed “or the bogeyman would get me,” my instincts would be to demand that this character be produced and shown to me as evidence to stay faithfully beneath the sheets. But it’s too much to ask of a six-year-old to be so astute.

Yet as I’ve gotten older, the fear of the bogeyman has remained so as to keep me cornered.

The church wants me to believe in the devil. After all, he is the ultimate bogeyman.

The Republicans want me to understand that the Democrats plan on unleashing multitudes of bogeymen, as the Democrats insist that the Republicans embody the legendary sinister form.

What happens if there are no bogeymen?

Could we still have pride in our nation without hating another country, which we have deemed to be the Dark Force?

Could we still motivate one another toward goodness if we removed the terror of a devil’s hell?

I, for one, am tired of the bogeyman.

Even though I never challenged my parents at age six, just in case there was this sinister “knight of the night,” I was still saddened that I had to remain tucked in my covers to protect myself from the world around me.

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Behind

Behind: (prep) to the far side of something so as to be hidden by it.

Dictionary B

“Behind times.”

It’s the accusation that alleged progressive individuals make about those who have chosen to be not quite so energetic in their leaping.

Here’s what I’ve found: progress is not linear.

It is not a row starting at Point A with a destination somewhere in the future at Point Z.

It’s actually a series of circles.

We roll along forward, and suddenly we dip back, creating a sphere to a former time, attempting to balance our present progress with a little nostalgia and common sense.

So when that circle is completed and we’re back to where we started, then we wiggle ahead a bit.

There are those who prefer to always be pressing on, and certainly there are souls who favor retreating to the rear, to campfires and Kum Bah Yah.

So what is behind us we will once again soon revisit and then grow tired of the repetition, to inch our way forward again.

It may be the accurate definition of the “strait and narrow”–where progress forward is so constricted that occasionally we fall back to remember simpler times.

Some people are frightened that the present technology will take us away from being close to one another and fellowshipping one on one.

Pure foolishness.

We are humans and will always need the sense of closeness … to hear the breathing of our comrades.

 

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