Crew Cut

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Crew cut: (n) a haircut in which the hair is very closely cropped.

It was a simple time.

People were determined to keep it that way, even though freedom, complexity and disruption were on the horizon, threatening to alter the beige tint of society with a flash of paisley.

In that brief moment, I lived and breathed and had my childhood.

One of the common things that was completely understood in my small town was the issue of men’s hair.

There were only three choices.

Some very bold youngsters started growing their hair to where it flirted with touching the top of the earlobe. They were subject to ridicule and made a grower of such a frock worthy of mock. They were deemed “hippies” and were considered part of the counterculture threatening to make America diverse.

The second type of hairdo was referred to as “the regular.”

This was where the young man was to get his hair cut as far away from his ears and collar as possible, leaving atop a tiny patch resembling crab grass. Even though it was not hippie, those who sported the regular haircut were suspicious. They were possibly Democrats or homos, which in our village, were both abominable.

Although it was never stated out loud, the only truly acceptable haircut for anyone under the age of eighteen was the crew cut. Matter of fact, if you peruse old rock and roll albums, many of the singers still sported it. It was the same kind of head shaving you would get if you went into the military. It was uniform, with a tiny berm of hair in the front, greased down so as not to become flyaway.

You knew this—whenever you encountered a person with a crew cut, you were staring into the face of a true American who loved God, hated sin and was determined to keep America whatever America was at that particular moment.

At one time I considered getting a crew cut.

However, my face was so chubby I was afraid my cheeks would puff out and I would be caught up in a wind gust and carried away. So I maintained my regular haircut until my senior year in high school, when I began to grow hair on the sides of my head that was long enough to be combed down to cover the tips of my ears when I was away from adults, and combed back to barely pass muster in grown-up world.

It was a foolish time in this country.

A dangerous assertion persisted–that human beings could be stopped and immobilized, avoiding a hairy situation.

 


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Contingency Plan

Contingency plan: (n) a course of action to be followed if a preferred plan fails

If the Republicans continue to win elections and promote their conservative agenda or the Democrats are supreme at the voting booths and institute more of a socialistic-style of democracy, and the borders of our country are still porous to invading hordes of aliens, yet instead, immigration laws are passed which are fair to both citizens and would-be’s, and gun control fails to be enacted while the Second Amendment continues to be honored as part of the Constitution, as I watch a confusion over addiction accompanied by marijuana being legalized for the entire nation to use, then the “Me, Too Movement” actually garners greater equality for women, or perhaps creates a back-lash which promotes a more traditional style of interaction between the masculine and the feminine, while taxes are raised, only to be lowered again and the Middle East remains the powder keg of the entire world, or people come along and generate peace in the region, while simultaneously nuclear weapons are proliferated—but wait, perhaps they are eliminated—as the world continues to create its tribulation or we enter a season of peaceful coexistence—whatever happens or is decided to be, my contingency plan is… to love my neighbor as myself.

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

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Concur

Concur: (v) to be of the same opinion; agree.

Kindness doesn’t cost you anything but an occasional pint of ego.

I concur.

Men and women are not nearly as different as they are reported to be.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

I concur.

Voting is the best way to prove that you’re a good citizen.

I do not concur.

Loving your neighbor begins by practicing with loving yourself.

I concur.

The citizens of the United States are more exceptional than those in the rest of the world.

I do not concur.

An education is best proven by how wisely you apply what you’ve learned.

I concur.

There are no contradictions in the Bible.

I do not concur.

Democrats and Republicans are just people who love to choose up sides.

I concur.

We are judged on how we treat others.

I concur.

There is a heaven and there is a hell.

I reserve judgment.

 

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Compensation

Compensation: (n) the action or process of awarding someone money as a recompense for loss

I am a white man.

What compensation do I owe my black brothers and sisters because I share a color with abusing sons-of-bitches who kept them in bondagefunny wisdom on words that begin with a C for over three hundred years?

I am a man.

What compensation should I present to my sisters who continue to struggle for permission to have 98% of the physical attributes of their brothers while receiving less than half of the respect?

I am a bald man.

What compensation should I provide my head for abandonment?

I am very fat.

Is there a compensation due my cardiovascular system for being asked to work overtime without any pay increase?

I am a father.

What compensation am I due from my children for biologically extending myself into relationships which continue to need attention and growth?

I am a Christian.

What compensation do I owe the ancestors of the Moors, who had to endure the Crusades of those misguided souls of my faith?

I am not political.

What compensation do I owe to the Republicans and Democrats for selecting to ignore their foolishness?

Who should I write a check to for my ineptness?

Who owes me compensation for defiling my individuality and besmirching my reputation?

It is why we have mercy.

Sometimes compensation just doesn’t cut it.

 

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Choosy

Choosy: (adj) overly fastidious in making a choice.

Oh, there goes Webster again.

For some reason, the dictionary feels it’s important to offer a certain amount of social commentary in describing the words that are showcased.

Here is the truth of the matter as far as I know: if you are not choosy, eventually you don’t get to choose, and you’re stuck with what’s chosen for you.

Welcome to Earth.

So portraying “choosy” as a negative attitude is the propaganda of governments, religionists, politicians and Madison Avenue agents, who would really like to plan your entire life, but feel that saying this bluntly might scare you away. So instead, they connote that you are “choosy” if you do not choose what they want you to choose on any chosen occasion.

If the dinner menu for the night is barbecued baked beans with barbecued beef and barbecued corn bread with barbecued pudding for dessert, folks might frown at you if, in a choosy way, you insist you prefer not to “go barbecue” tonight.

The problem in our world is not that people are too choosy. The difficulty lies in the fact that we’re not given enough choice.

  • Politics is divided into two major parties, with a whisker’s difference between the pair.
  • Churches insist they offer varieties of services, while simultaneously delivering the same spiritually tone-deaf message.
  • And the clothing in the department stores settles into shades that are determined to be this season’s preference, with stylings which are the “hit of the catwalk.”

What would happen if Americans actually did become choosy?

If we decided not to let the critics determine the best motion pictures?

If we didn’t leave it up to aging librarians to pick out the top books?

What if we had an open marketplace, an open discussion, an open spirit and an open mind–to give things a platform and see how they fared?

What if the whole world were a blind taste test? How would McDonald’s, Wal-Mart, Apple, Democrats, Republicans and the religious system chart?

I’m choosy–and pretty proud of it. I often disagree with other people about my choices, but never in a disagreeable way.

But I’m not about to believe that something being popular gives it any more credence than I am to think that the hula-hoop was meant to last forever.

 

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Change

Change: (v) to make or become different

A prototype is required.

Human beings cannot run on ideas, just like lovers fail to subsist on kisses. If something needs to be changed, it needs to be seen so it can be
imitated.

We talk too damn much. We yap and yap and yap and still plan for another talk show.

Seeing is believing.

The faith to believe may come through hearing a good idea, but the human species requires some evidence before rendering its verdict.

If you think the world needs to be a more loving place, then you need to visualize and also make visible a loving life.

If you think the world lacks music, make good music that’s sensitive to the audience’s heart instead of just your finicky taste.

If you think the world needs Jesus, make Jesus human instead of dangling the divine in front of the disappointed.

If you think the Republican Party is going to change our nation, offer some obvious results that can be eyeballed.

If you think the Democrats hold the key, develop a news reel of your plans that make it crystal clear where you wish to head.

Change for change’s sake is rather changeless. It just never catches on.

But if we’re able to see how it benefits our entire being–heart, soul, mind and strength–we just might pick up a tambourine and join the band.

 

 

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Bogeyman

Bogeyman: (n) an imaginary evil spirit

Dictionary B

Often the only way to expose fear for its foolishness is to be willing to live out the reality of what truly frightens us.

In other words, if I could go back to being a six-year-old child who was told to stay in his bed “or the bogeyman would get me,” my instincts would be to demand that this character be produced and shown to me as evidence to stay faithfully beneath the sheets. But it’s too much to ask of a six-year-old to be so astute.

Yet as I’ve gotten older, the fear of the bogeyman has remained so as to keep me cornered.

The church wants me to believe in the devil. After all, he is the ultimate bogeyman.

The Republicans want me to understand that the Democrats plan on unleashing multitudes of bogeymen, as the Democrats insist that the Republicans embody the legendary sinister form.

What happens if there are no bogeymen?

Could we still have pride in our nation without hating another country, which we have deemed to be the Dark Force?

Could we still motivate one another toward goodness if we removed the terror of a devil’s hell?

I, for one, am tired of the bogeyman.

Even though I never challenged my parents at age six, just in case there was this sinister “knight of the night,” I was still saddened that I had to remain tucked in my covers to protect myself from the world around me.

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Bash

Bash: (n) a heavy blow.Dictionary B

I have given it much consideration.

I have finally come to the conclusion that my level of contentment, joy and satisfaction is exactly paralleled by my amount of criticism, frustration and jealousy towards others.

In other words, if I like my life, why in the hell do I care about yours?

I’m not recommending indifference to need, but certainly, if I find myself rejoicing in my pursuits, why is it necessary for me to bash yours?

I contend that most people who pursue religion are angry at the unbeliever because they fear these heretics are having more fun.

I think Democrats secretly know that Republicans make some good points, and Republicans are certainly aware of the value of ideas within the Democratic Party.

We bash because we are discontented.

We attack because we want people to be as miserable as we are, and it appears that they have sidestepped our little rendition of purity without suffering consequences.

I have found that it is much easier to be excited and encouraging to the world around me as I find my place in this time.

Bashing is an arrow pointed at the misgiving and doubt that is in our own hearts.

Since I don’t want to be a ballerina, it therefore becomes unnecessary for me to make fun of them dancing on their toes.

Since I have no desire to be gay, I also have no inclination to mock their situation.

And since my faith is based on compassion and the pursuit of regeneration, I don’t necessarily feel compelled to sarcastically mock traditions I consider to be meaningless.

Yes, the only way to stop bashing is to ask yourself one single, valuable question:

Do I really like what I’m doing, or am I faking it?

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Artillery

Artillery: (n) large-caliber guns used in warfare on land.dictionary with letter A

Lobbing huge shells through the air often countless miles, to land to Earth, to wreak havoc and create destruction.

The purpose for such a weapon is to grant the consolation that we can believe we are fighting a war without actually having to behold the devastation.

It’s really quite ingenious in a devious way.

After all, what could be more intense and ferocious than hand-to-hand combat, where we place our lives in jeopardy, hoping that we’re strong enough to overcome our opponent, or even sitting in a foxhole, shooting our rifles across the no-man’s land, hoping to hit some man?

I’m not going to write either a rebuke of war or a promotion of it in order to preserve freedom.

But I will tell you that the way we lob artillery shells of words, emotions and anger across our cultures in today’s battlefield of human communication is nasty.

It used to be that people had names. Then, for a while, they had titles. And now we identify each other by clan and culture.

So it’s Republicans against Democrats. No decent Republican will step out of the pack, be an individual and vote on a specific issue separate from the party plans.

Likewise, no Democrat will have a kind word for a Republican because in so doing, he or she might accidentally promote their pernicious cause.

In today’s world, we are black and we are white. We are Hispanic and Native American.

Trying to gain individuality in a season when individuality is supposedly extolled is virtually impossible because we need to summarize all of our problems in an eight-minute segment on CNN or Fox News.

So we lob shells at each other.

We refuse to stand as individuals–a person who is given a name, possessing one beautiful brain and be our own person, but instead, we want to conduct a wicked war of words from a distance, never completely comprehending the damage we do to one another.

There is no such thing as a black culture. There are people who have black skin.

There is no such thing as a white Native American, Hispanic, Asian, French, English, German or even NASCAR culture.

God gave us the personal space to make free-will choices, which if we sacrifice to be part of an artillery line of banging and clanging guns of words, is just another atrocity in an unrighteous war.

  • I am not white, I am human.
  • I am not of German descent, I am a person.

And if I’m going to do war with you, I’m going to have to face you eyeball-to-eyeball and express myself in a way that will communicate my conviction. I can’t sit in a roomful of white people and lob shells at the perceived enemy

It’s up to us:

The introduction of artillery gave us the ability to kill at a distance.

The introduction of “culture” has done the same.

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American Dream

dictionary with letter A

American dream: (n) the traditional social ideals of the U.S., such as equality, democracy and material prosperity.

I think the American dream has been over-analyzed by Freudian pundits and politicians who plan on using their own interpretation to bring about the enactment of their particular will.

I’m not so sure I agree with the Republicans that every American wants a gun.

Likewise, the more liberal view of the Democrats concerning giving people license to do whatever they want to under the guise of civil rights doesn’t achieve much more than an emotional traffic jam.

I’ll tell you what I think the American dream is: Hunk, Chunk, Junk.

I think the power of freedom in this country, with the intelligent use of capitalism, enables me to go out and get my hunk. I should have every right to do that. If it doesn’t infringe on the needs of others or hurt my fellow-man and woman, I should be applauded for my efforts and be given a barn to store my bounty.

Then from that hunk, I should get my chunk. This is probably where people will disagree with me. Lots of folks think they need every single dime they earn to cover their own personal indebtedness. If that’s the case, you’ll spend your life pretty miserable. I should be able to break off a chunk from my hunk that will make me happy and keep me in grits, gravy, gravel and glee.

What remains from my hunk actually becomes my junk. Things I don’t need. Things I don’t want anymore. It’s a startling but true statement that if everybody in America emptied their attics and garages of all the things they haven’t used in the past six months, and gave them to their neighbors, 75% of the personal needs of others would be fulfilled.

It’s not treasure if moths and rust are corrupting it and it’s being stolen by time and depreciation.

Get rid of your junk.

Bless someone else. They won’t think it’s junk.

They will treasure it as their hunktheir American dream.