Compatible

Compatible: (adj) two things able to exist or occur together without conflict.

I sat patiently listening to the young psychologist try to explain to those who had gathered for what had turned into a boring lecture about what it truly means to “be compatible.”

He was well-studied (which always guarantees a certain amount of error).

He said, “It is important for a couple to find the things they share in common and to celebrate their differences.”funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

I don’t know whether I was the only one in the room who thought, “Oh, my God, kill me before I ever have to be in that discussion.”

But the tepid response he received and the lack of questions let me know that the audience had moved far beyond this young man’s learning–into the actual world of doing.

Having a relationship with anyone or anything is certainly about being compatible. But it is foolish to over-complicate the scenario.

Simply stated.. do your plugs fit?

If it’s a romantic situation, it will be necessary to find out if you like each other’s lips, each other’s hands, each other’s genitals, each other’s odors, each other’s habits and each other’s…others.

There will be adjustments. After all, as in the case of plugs, two identical plugs do not hook up. They require different ends to their means.

So sexually, a woman does not have to be a dynamo, nor does a man need the largest penis in the Sahara Desert. They just have to find out how their plugs hook up and work on adaptors.

Likewise, how do your plugs hook up on finance? She spends, he’s thrifty. That is completely compatible as long as she has money that is hers and he doesn’t lament how she uses it.

How do your plugs hook up about raising kids? She’s a strong disciplinarian, he’s a wimp. So when there are wimpy issues, let him head the class. When the little turds need stronger language, let Mama do the job.

Over-complicating human relationships always makes us believe that we’re incompatible.

“Black people can’t be around white people. White people like organ music and black people like tambourines.” It is possible to play the tambourine with an organ, and it’s also historical to rock your organ out a little bit.

Compatible is not difficult: check your plugs. Wiggle them around. Find a way to make them fit.

Nothing on Earth is really natural–everything requires a bit of work.

Otherwise, we all would be perniciously lazy.

 

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Blues

Blues: (n) a melancholic music of black American folk origin

Dictionary B

For a very, very–and dare I say, very–brief time, I ran the sound and light system for a blues club.

I was offered the opportunity because one of my sons was the chief engineer, and he needed a couple of nights off, so he generously afforded me the doorway to pick up a few extra bucks.

I had two nights of training, and even though I have a nearly passable understanding of electronic equipment, it was immediately obvious to me that I was out of my league. Not only was I an anachronism to the atmosphere of the institution, but the inadequacies of my working knowledge of the sound and the lights soon became apparent to everyone.

Also, listening to blues music two nights a week for four hours certainly does not leave you “in the pink.”

Blues music is a constant lament that “life is not fair” and “women need to find their place” and realize that men are superior. It is also self-indulgent in the use of the instrumental solo, trying to simulate anything from tooth extraction to orgasm.

After a while, the mingling of my disdain for the repertoire and my ineptness behind the board made it necessary for the head of the band to reluctantly approach my son and ask him to courteously and gently fire me as quickly as possible.

Although my fine offspring tried to be consoling, I was so relieved by being relieved that I’m afraid I showed my relief.

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Bargain

Bargain: (n) a thing bought or offered for sale more cheaply than is usualDictionary B

It is generally reported among the human race that any time we’ve saved a buck we’ve made a “dear” bargain.

I have to admit, I am susceptible to that philosophy but I also have enough memories of failed bargains to be a little leery of continuing to pursue the prospect with great vigor.

After all, nothing is a bargain if it ends up sucking.

There are two things we want in life, and two things only:

  1. We want what we desire
  2. We want it to work

Anything less than that will leave us disgruntled, even if it was less expensive.

I have often seen my fellow-travelers show me a product they purchased, touting the great deal they got, only to lament their dissatisfaction over its lack of quality.

So is it better to spend a bit more for what you desire, to plug it in and have it work?

I think that’s the definition of maturity.

It’s why I spend a little more time deciding to shop, and much less time actually shopping. Because once I do go, I know what I want and the price tag is secondary to my preference.

With that in mind, let us understand that politics is no bargain. It does not give us what we want, and honest to God, it does not work.

Entertainment is often no bargain. I need to be inspired and energized, but often walk out at the mercy of the director’s dementia.

Religion is no bargain. I desire happiness now and ecstasy in heaven–and they give me present misery and a “maybe” on the afterlife.

So for all you bargain hunters or people who spend three hours clipping out $18 worth of coupons (that’s $6 an hour in labor) let me tell you that I am reluctant to join your club.

My heart’s desire is too important to me, and making sure something actually works is too necessary to my well-being.

 

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