Court

Court: (n) a tribunal presided over by a judge

I’ve only been in a courtroom twice. In both cases, I was innocent. In both cases, I walked in innocent and walked out innocent.

But not really.

Contrary to popular opinion from television shows, once you are summoned to the high court, the low court—or even a medium court, you will always be considered suspect.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Matter of fact, I have never spoken on the subject before. Why? Because I would not want to deal with what you would think.

Even though I committed no crime, discussing being accused of misbehavior only makes people believe that I found a slick way to weasel out of it—or there just wasn’t enough evidence to produce the desired verdict.

Just as we have faith in our doctors, we also have an unrighteous allegiance to the legal profession—and also the police force.

I do not think it’s good to be critical of those who serve us, but I think it is foolish to contend that their decisions are free of error, and even might occasionally be marked by folly.

Once you find yourself in a court, you must never refer to it again, and you must be fully aware that if anyone finds out about it, they will assume that “where there’s smoke there must be fire.”

It’s very interesting to me that a burning fire produces less smoke than a fire that has been extinguished. That seems to escape us when we’re trying to evaluate, judge and even condemn other people.

So the best thing to do is stay out of court unless you make your living as a lawyer, stenographer, judge or baliff. They are the only ones who seem to escape being tainted by the spirit of the room.

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Attorney

Attorney: (n) a person appointed to act for another in business or legal matters.dictionary with letter A

A friend of mine was going through a nasty divorce.

She was desperately in need of getting away from an abusive husband, but unfortunately had limited funds. Also unfortunately, my bank account mirrored hers.

So she combed through the Yellow Pages and found an attorney who advertised reduced rates. She called him up and he optimistically told her of a plan of action to get out of her marriage for a mere $250.

It was the best deal available so my dear friend jumped on the opportunity and signed on the dotted line.

Everything went along fine at first–until the renegade husband decided to contest. Apparently, our attorney had missed some classes on “contesting.” He seemed completely baffled as to what to do when things did not go exactly by the step-by-step plan in his “paint-by-lawyering” kit.

So he failed to file papers on time, creating an absolute mess for the custody of the children, which eventually led to the crazed gentleman abducting the offspring and generating a plot which might have been suitable for a “Law and Order” episode.

When confronted with his inept handling of the situation, the attorney replied, “Yeah. I probably should have done that, but I didn’t.”

That was it.

My friend thought about asking for a refund but then it occurred to her:

When you go seeking for a discount, you may not be able to “discount” the results.

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