Chronic: (adj) (of a problem) long-lasting and difficult to eradicate.

There are several maturity banners that are displayed on our human journey. These are truths which are not always comfortable, but if denied, can put us in a chronic state of misery.

For instance:

  1. Nobody is going to do what you want them to do.

People imitate, they steal, they deny that they got what they have from you–but no one wants to admit that they are not autonomous and require assistance..

  1. The fewer categories you put people in, the better off you are.

When you start delineating by culture, color, sexual orientation and even gender, you get yourself in a horrible, tangled mess of misconceptions.

  1. And a third one is the realization that sometimes the solution is more painful than the problem.

Although we extol the value of solving dilemmas, we can often end up in more red tape, difficulty, struggle and misunderstanding than if we just learn to adjust our temperament and approach to the problem.

For instance, it is rather doubtful that poverty will go away. The more we complain about it and compare our levels of indifference, the less people get fed.

Go someplace where they offer two sandwiches for a decent price. Buy two. Eat one yourself and give one to a hungry person on the street.

You didn’t solve the problem–but you also didn’t trap yourself in a chronic search for an unattainable solution.


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Chivalry: (n) readiness to help the weak, associated with knights

Leave it to America to take a tradition of kindness to the poor and those less fortunate and attribute it solely to caring for and even wooing the female of the species.

The first insult comes in assuming that women are weaker. Of course, there are plenty of ladies who are more than prepared to carry a lesser
load. And some gentlemen who are duped into thinking that opening car doors is the prerequisite to opening vaginas.

So it becomes a game of cat and mouse, which, as I recall, is not really a game at all, but rather, a duel to the death, with the mouse always victimized.

It just seems to me that you cannot insist on using chivalry on women without also promoting the idea that they are desperately in need of attention.

I like the original definition. Candidly, there are times I am weak. I welcome a little chivalry–even if it comes from the opposite sex.

But our country is very cluttered by its own tangled web of misconceptions:

  • Women are not weaker–just promoted to be that way so men can feel stronger.
  • Men are not chivalrous when they condescend to women, but rather, chauvinists.

If you’re not sure if you should give a lady your assistance, then just ask. She will let you know.

And then you will actually have an experience in equality.



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Blush: (v) to develop a pink tinge in the face from embarrassment or shame.

Dictionary B

Removing one misconception from the stacked-up views of a human being may temporarily topple the tower but will make the rebuilding more sturdy.

We are full of misconceptions.

Matter of fact, we feel compelled to lie to one another so as to remove all sense of embarrassment, shame or inadequacy.

So the singer who is loud and boisterous is never told that he’s off-pitch.

The beauty queen who is painted to excess to gain approval is never informed of how obnoxious she is.

And the politician is never surrounded by those who will truly ask the right questions.

We are afraid of embarrassment.

We are frightened that our weaknesses will surface, so we smother self-awareness under an ocean of flattery.

Sometimes I need to blush.

  • I need to realize I have said something inappropriate.
  • I have fallen short of expectation.
  • I am a bow-tie worn with a jogging suit.

It’s good for me.

It literally puts some color in my cheeks. 

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Baby: (n) a very young child, especially one newly or recently born.

I am personally co-responsible for the arrival of four babies onto Planet Earth.Dictionary B

So even though I would not consider myself an authority, I do walk with a bit more gravitas than the average twenty-something postulating on daytime talk shows.

Let me tell you some misconceptions about babies, and then I will tell you what I find to be a few abiding truths.

Let us begin with the misconceptions:

  1. Babies are cute.

The best way for me to dispel this myth is for me to say they are not meant to be cute because they aren’t ripe yet. A misshapen head, a funny curled lip, lack of eyebrows, and the fact that they insist on having you clean up their buttocks does take away a little bit from their overall beauty. (Not to mention that creepy spot on their head that moves back and forth when they breathe…)

  1. Babies are hard to take care of.

If you are one of those kinds of people who allow things to pile up on you, or only deals with things in your face, a baby can be a horror. But if you understand that this little kid has come into your world, and therefore needs to learn your system, it becomes much easier to handle their initial moods.

  1. Babies like it quiet.

Please don’t make your house quiet. A baby will adjust to whatever sound level is in the room, because all babies are human and therefore require sleep. Turn up the stereo and get them used to the din of life.

  1. Babies are born “a certain way.”

It is probably one of the more unfair things we do–to cast personality, talent and even intelligence on a creature that is still drooling.

  1. My baby loves me.

Not yet. Your baby still thinks it’s in the womb, where it sucked from everything in sight without ever offering one tittle of gratitude.

Now, how about some truths?

  1. You have a human being.
  2. This human being will pretty much become exactly what you want he or she to be.
  3. The child has not yet formed either virtue or prejudice.
  4. Do not allow your relatives to spoil the little tot because you will be the one dealing with the backlash.
  5. Keep them warm, loved, well-fed, changed and stop worrying about anything else.
  6. It’s a baby. You did not find the cure for cancer. Adding too much pride to the birth of your child is the dictionary definition of obnoxious.

I like babies.

Their simplicity, innocence and vulnerability remind me that God has not given up on the human race.

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Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAhead: (adv.) 1. further forward in space: e.g. he looked at the road ahead  2. further forward in time: e.g. he contemplated the day ahead.  3. in the lead: e.g. the Broncos were ahead at halftime

He is “just so ahead of his time.”

I’ve heard that said about me on so many occasions that I now realize it isn’t a compliment, but rather, a wistful expression of regret.

We don’t like people who are ahead.

Honestly, there are very few individuals who run a race and when they come in fifth, ease up to the winner’s side and give him a big hug. Why? Because he’s ahead of us. We don’t think it’s fair.

And if you have the audacity to be ahead of your time instead of blending into the scenery, matching your coloration with the acceptable taupe, you are not really a blessing. More like an aggravation.

Yes, that may be the first step in becoming a human being. Realize that every blessing at first appears to be an aggravation, and when we adjust to that, we can open the door to see what lies behind the inconvenience.

Matter of fact, someone recently asked me how I came up with my ideas which make me so “ahead of my time.” I shocked the individual by telling him I was a student of history.

I think he believed that studying the past might be the worst way to consider options for the future. But the same ignorance that existed in Eden is still present in our garden variety.

A similar amount of stubbornness, arrogance and inflexibility that promoted murder and mayhem in the past is still lurking in the hearts of the present batch of the sons and daughters of Adam.

Yes, the best way to get ahead is to learn what worked in the past and maneuver it through understanding into a blueprint for the future.

It’s why I never have a problem discussing the importance of equal rights–because my history book tells me that every time we try to limit the personal freedom of any group of people we have been wrong–and end up looking like numbskulls.

This is also why I’m fully aware that laying down religious or moral law onto society through prohibition is equally as comical. Since we’re all the children of God, we are all trying to get away with stealing candy from the pantry. Rules won’t stop us.

So if you want to be ahead of your time, consider what lasts.  An old, apostolic philosopher once said there are only three things that abide: faith, hope and love. In other words:

  • Believe in good things and don’t give up.
  • Think up a good thing of your own and pursue it
  • Love people–and when you can’t, leave them the hell alone.

That’s how to get ahead of your time. And it’s also how you end up buying stock on the ground level with Apple Computer … instead of making fun of those “new-fangled gadgets.”


Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAha: (exclam.) used to express a range of emotions including surprise, pleasure, sympathy and realization.

My “aha” has been ruined.

As a young man I remember it as an exclamation given in the middle of a murder mystery to expose the killer and point out that some recently discovered clue has enlightened one and all to the guilt of the participant.


A chill went down your spine when you heard it. You realized that Sherlockian investigation had just uncovered what was considered to be a well-disguised clue, revealing the murderous ways of a once-thought-to-be innocent bystander.

And then here comes Oprah.

She–or one of her guests–thought it was cute to refer to simple, quaint and may I insert my opinion by stating, often silly, decisions as “aha moments.”

Here’s what I know about such disclosure: every time I think I’ve discovered the secret of life, what I really find out is that I peeled back the onion to discover yet another layer of onion.

There are not “aha moments.” I’m sorry, Ms. Winfrey. What really happens is that we finally acknowledge something that’s been obvious all the time, and it becomes a stepping stone to even greater understanding of our misconceptions.

I guess it’s popular to look for a “come to Jesus” juncture in our lives so we can state once and for all that we’ve been saved from our previous stupidity to walk in “newness of life.” But when you put the thing to a test, what you really comprehend is that each little nugget we find as we pan for gold has more rock in it than riches. It doesn’t mean we should stop panning and it certainly does not mean there’s no gold in the rocks.

I would just suggest that we might be more successful in our journey if we started appreciating rock more than gold. And if we could have a truly “aha moment” over the subtle differences in stone, we would find ourselves happier than by being mere prospectors.

I will stick with my “aha moments” being uttered by detectives who remove the baffling parts of the crime to unveil the perpetrators. For I know this–everything I think I’ve learned today, which has transformed me to a new level, will quickly be replaced with the need for more revelation … on the morrow.