Tag Archives: offspring

Aunt

Aunt: (n) the sister of one’s father or mother or the wife of one’s uncle.

dictionary with letter AThe value of one’s relationship with an aunt is based upon the quality of the memories they have with your mother and father.

I wish I would have known that.

I had some pretty pukey aunts.They would not agree with that, I’m sure, but since they’re dead, I will risk offending their consciousness.

They were picky, they were self-righteous or they were completely disengaged.

I took it personally.

Being a kid, I tried to please them because I heard rumors at school about kids who had great aunts. Matter of fact, the abiding notion was that aunts were nicer than parents, or even grandparents, because they had so little invested in the future of the prodigy.

But my aunts were toads–and I don’t mean good toads. They just kind of sat there and peered at me, waiting for me to be either too loud or unmannerly.

Now that I’m older, I realize that these aunts didn’t have anything against me–they just didn’t like my mom and dad. So they decided to take it out on me.

After all, I was the swill that came from their bog.

I was the offspring of these people who the aunts had found fault with for years, had developed grudges against, and now persisted into the next generation.

I didn’t know this at the time. I thought I was perniciously ugly, fatally stupid or satanically infested.

It’s a good idea, if you happen to be an aunt and you’re pissed off at your sister or brother, to try to work that out with them and not pass the anger onto the kids.

Because in the long run, a good aunt is a treasure.

But a bad aunt would be better off living on the moon.

 

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Anybody

dictionary with letter A

Anybody: (pron) 1. anyone: (e.g. there wasn’t anybody around) 2. a person of importance (e.g.: everybody who was anybody came)

Shall we refer to it as the four different approaches to Earth-family?

1. Family consists of those individuals who share my DNA, live in my house or in close proximity to my home, and in some way have been spawned through my procreative efforts.

2. Family are those born of my passion, but also a few friends that I’ve let in, and consider to be “extended” beings in our clique.

3. Family are those who share a state, country, religion or agreement with me politically or socially, who I embrace as my traveling companions because of our similar value system.

4. Family is anybody.

That’s right–any human who has a body.

I love that word for that reason.

You can see with the first three applications that we promote a cloudy atmosphere of prejudice which doesn’t mind occasionally slipping into bigotry.

Of course, it is risky:

  • You have to stop believing that your little Brian or Susie is more intelligent than the off-spring of the family down the street.
  • You must understand that even though you are very devoted to your rendition of faith, that faith without works is dead, and people who believe and bear fruit are the ones who will survive the test of time.
  • You probably will have to abandon the concept that “America is exceptional” and that the rest of the planet must stand in line in second- and third-world positions.
  • And you certainly will need to run away from preference due to sex, age, beliefs and orientation.

It is scary to love just anybody, but since we all share a common flesh, the true magic in life is to see if we can discover … a universal spirit.

 

 

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Ancient

dictionary with letter A

Ancient: (adj) belonging to the very distant past and no longer in existence.

The basic design of the human being has not changed for thousands of years. Parts be parts.

What makes us call former times “ancient” is the realization that these well-formed beings, possessing a tremendous brain, had a tendency to close down portions of that intellect in order to get along with the superstition and stupidity of their current time.

In other words, those who pursued Greek mythology back in old Athens were made ancient by the fact that they believed in gods and mortals, and sexual relations between the two which created Titans.

I’m sure it crossed the minds of some of them that this rendition of reality was a bit foolish. But to get along, they went along.

I’m sure there were many people during the witch trials in Salem, Massachusetts, who looked at the list of the accused and realized it was just little Sally, who they baby-sat as an infant, and therefore it was highly unlikely that she was the handmaiden of Beelzebub.

But they went along to get along–thus making them ancient instead of contemporary to us.

The truth of the matter is, the only people we respect today are those individuals from the past who stood against the flow of the ridiculous.

So you have to realize that many things we now accept will become ancient very quickly as time progresses and knowledge increases.

So my thanks go out to those historical individuals who are never going to be ancient because their ideas, although contrary to their times, have moved the human clock.

That is why it is my responsibility, as a parent and a grandparent, to continue to grow and expand in my vision, so that my offspring do not have to mumble under their breath ... “God, he’s ancient.”

 

 

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Alarm

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Alarm: (n) 1. an anxious awareness of danger 2. the sound or warning of imminent danger

Do they still call it a fire drill?

I’m not sure.

When I was a kid, about every six or seven weeks, the school bell rang uncontrollably, and we were told to rise from our seats, get into single file and march out of the building into the awaiting parking lot in anticipation of what could have been a fire breaking out.

Of course, we all knew it was just a drill. A practice, if you will. But it was still a bit alarming to hear the bell, and delightful to be able to escape the world of desks, pens, paper and droning “teacher voices,” to go outside for a few minutes with your friends.

Of course, in the adult world, they had plans set in place to rectify that potential for pleasure.

You had to remain silent.

This was the same thing you were cautioned to do when standing in line for the cafeteria, gathering for an assembly or even finding your path to the bathroom.

Silence.

I realize now that we were never in danger of fire. And I’m not being critical of the craft of preparation. I understand it thoroughly and agree with the premise.

But the alarming part of the process of leaving our school, considering the potential for a blazing inferno, was actually the fact that we were taught to be non-social.

  • Couldn’t talk in class.
  • Couldn’t talk in the cafeteria.
  • And couldn’t talk on the way to the fire drill.

And then we wonder why human beings grow up sheltered, protected, suspicious and just downright cranky. After all, we’re not about to let our offspring chum with one another when we were forbidden to do so.

Yes, I would say the most alarming thing about hearing the alarm bell tell us to go to a fire drill, considering the alarming possibility of a burning school, was the fact that we weren’t allowed to be human and interactive.

I guess that’s true all over the world. I’m sure Chinese people discourage chattiness in their children just like Americans quell such outbursts. But I wonder if we lose something by being too alarmed.

Don’t we sacrifice the child-like instinct to enjoy ourselves, believe for the best and want to whisper interesting things to our neighbor?

 

Abbas

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter AAbbas: Ferhat (1899-1989) Algerian nationalist leader. He was president of the Algerian provisional government in 1958 and then president of the constituent assembly of independent Algeria from 1962-63.

Who cares? I mean, I’m just human. I read about this guy with the funny name and I thought to myself, “What difference does it make?”

Then, to promote a bit of humility, I looked ahead in the dictionary–checking for MY name–and upon discovering that it was absent, I realized that this fellow did something really remarkable. Even though he’s not internationally famous and his name is not spoken frequently in the household, he found a place for himself, made a difference, and to those around him, became important.

Who can ask for more than that?

I walked out of my house today, looked up into the trees and saw a bird. There was NOTHING distinguishable about this creature whatsoever. It was grayish-black, as bland as possible, just sitting up on a branch. But I realized that somewhere that bird is …well, Top Bird. Somewhere that bird has built a nest, goes out looking for worms for his or her little offspring, and in that particular venue, is King of the World.

We spend so much time criticizing ourselves for failing to achieve the top echelon of our goals instead of celebrating how far we have come in comparison to how crappy we COULD have been.

So this Abbas guy did a bunch of stuff in Algeria that made a difference. And he made the dictionary!  Hat’s off. Or if that’s inappropriate in his culture, hat’s on.

I was ashamed of myself for being indifferent to someone who made a difference and I decided to follow the philosophy of my little pal in the tree. First of all, the bird can fly. One up on me. The bird has a nest. The bird is out trying to find worms. The bird is … important in that environment.

So join me today in building your nest. Then go out and find your worm. And then, strut your bird. That’s right–be aware that even if you don’t make the dictionary, you still have done your part to define excellence.