Tag Archives: poor

Crap

Crap: (n) excrement, or used to reference refuse, rubbish, or junk

 I already spent the money.

I know that’s not smart.

But when you’re poor, you have to make arrangements—then hope those plans don’t fall apart.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

I had a gig. It was a big gig. At least for me. There was going to be some decent money involved.

I will tell you of a certainty, the only way to ever become an artist is to insist on using your art until it pays for you.

In the meantime, your creditors, your landlord and anyone you find yourself indebted to may question the intelligence of your persistence, and sometimes even dishonor the quality of your talent.

But I felt confident—confident enough to pay my bills before I got the check.

It was a two-day gig, and a conference, where I might be able to make further contacts for other engagements in the future.

On the first night, everything went along just swimmingly. The audience was laughing, clapping, appreciating both song and speech. I was feeling so good that I made a joke. I can’t remember all the details of the setup, but the punchline was, “Get this crap outta here!”

Everyone laughed. I thought I was on safe turf.

But later that night I received a call at my motel, telling me I was being canceled because the audience had children in it, and I had offended everyone by saying “crap.” I was contrite—I disavowed the deeds of my tongue—but it didn’t make any difference.

Move ahead in time.

I don’t know exactly when things changed. I suppose there are some people who still find the word “crap” inappropriate, but it would not be unusual to hear it spoken in the church foyer, and even possibly the pulpit.

Now we are fussing about the word “shit.”

It’s amazing how we can come to agreement on what crap and shit are, while being totally self-righteous on declaring it crap or shit.

I have a meter I run in my mind. It’s very simple.

For instance:

If the Ten Commandments are how God will judge me…

Or:

If you have to be skinny and a perfect weight…

One of the possibilities I consider is:

If you’re not supposed to use any colloquial or profane language…

Crap.

I’m in a shitload of trouble.

Donate Button

Subscribe to Jonathan’s Weekly Podcast

Good News and Better News

 

Chivalry

Chivalry: (n) readiness to help the weak, associated with knights

Leave it to America to take a tradition of kindness to the poor and those less fortunate and attribute it solely to caring for and even wooing the female of the species.

The first insult comes in assuming that women are weaker. Of course, there are plenty of ladies who are more than prepared to carry a lesser
 load. And some gentlemen who are duped into thinking that opening car doors is the prerequisite to opening vaginas.

So it becomes a game of cat and mouse, which, as I recall, is not really a game at all, but rather, a duel to the death, with the mouse always victimized.

It just seems to me that you cannot insist on using chivalry on women without also promoting the idea that they are desperately in need of attention.

I like the original definition. Candidly, there are times I am weak. I welcome a little chivalry–even if it comes from the opposite sex.

But our country is very cluttered by its own tangled web of misconceptions:

  • Women are not weaker–just promoted to be that way so men can feel stronger.
  • Men are not chivalrous when they condescend to women, but rather, chauvinists.

If you’re not sure if you should give a lady your assistance, then just ask. She will let you know.

And then you will actually have an experience in equality.

 

 

Donate Button

Bolshevik

Bolshevik: (n) a member of the Russian Social Democratic Party, which was renamed the Communist Party

There’s a way that seems right but it’s wrong.Dictionary B

Any attempt we make to correct the ailments of our society by merely using pity ends up with a dissatisfying conclusion for all parties involved.

Those who are pitied become resentful, and those who pity are disappointed with the results their sympathy brings.

The world is not fair because the world would not work if it was fair.

If everyone had ten dollars a week given to them, and prices were adjusted to that stipend, we would still have human beings who would steal from others–to make sure they had a double portion.

Evil is not eliminated by financial security.

Evil is not intimidated by stirring the conscience.

Goodness demands that we tap our own soul and use our free will to bless others.

The Bolsheviks arrived in Russia speaking out against the inequity of the distribution of wealth. They succeeded in putting up a Communist tent of protection, which attempted to generate an even playing field.

Trouble was, nobody wanted to play–and when they didn’t play it was necessary to eliminate them in order to continue the game.

So they succeeded in achieving some financial equity, only to invite violent conclusions.

The poor will always be with us. Without them we would not learn to be givers.

And without occasionally taking our turn at being poor, we would not have the schooling for generosity.

 

Donate ButtonThank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix 

Jonathan’s Latest Book Release!

PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant

Click here to get your copy now!

PoHymn cover jon

 

 

Benevolent

Benevolent: (adj) well meaning and kindly.

Dictionary B

I found myself pushing a grocery cart through the projects of Shreveport, Louisiana, loaded down with day-old bread, caramel rolls, powdered donuts and a variety of sundry baked goods.

I felt good.

I had acquired these treasures free of charge from a local business and decided to take some friends from my church out to offer them to the poorer members of our community.

I was convinced that I was a benevolent soul.

When people realized there was free stuff, they began to emerge from their homes, and they stood around my cart, picking through the items, perusing for something they might enjoy.

To my surprise and chagrin, ,many walked away without taking anything, several of them commenting, “It looks kind of stale.”

I was infuriated.

Here I was–taking my own time to bless people, and they were discussing expiration dates on pecan rolls.

Matter of fact, I went to my car carrying back with me much of what I had brought, which had been rejected by those I now deemed to be “ungrateful snoots.”

I had a curse on my lips.

I was damning those who were poor because they wouldn’t act poor enough.

I failed to realize they were human beings just like me, and were allowed to have a taste of their own, and even a preference.

I realized there is a great precursor to benevolence:

Whenever expressing generosity, it must be a hand-out … and not a hand-down.

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix 

 

Affluent

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAffluent: (adj.) having a great deal of wealth or money

For ten years of my life I was affluent.

I lived in a big house, had extra finance, drove really neat cars and spent money on expensive lunches which I dubbed “business.”

Most of the money I utilized was not of my own making. It was inherited. It still spent the same.

I built a swimming pool in my back yard, had a gazebo in my front, and even constructed artistic decking to get from my house to the pool

What can I tell you about being affluent?

  • It’s like being poor except you only worry about money half the time.
  • You spend less of your thought process wondering if you should buy the T-bone steaks that are on sale, but you still get a bit of indigestion when you realize how much cash you extracted from your bank account–just to eat grilled cow.
  • There is a greater sense of loss, and much more pressure to reimburse what you’re spending because otherwise, you cannot continue the absolute facade of affluence.

I will not tell you that it was absent charm. I certainly will not tell you it was devoid of excitement. AND I will not be so pretentious as to lead you to believe that if it were offered to me again as an option for my ongoing existence, that I would not leap, in a stumbling way, in that direction.

But I can say that it really doesn’t matter.

Because of the money that I had, the thing I rejoice over more than anything else is that much of it was given away to others to produce lasting glee. There is something wonderful about knowing that twenty dollars does not mean much to you personally, but to another individual who is working minimum wage, it is a heavenly gift floated down on gossamer wings.

Pretty damn fantastic.

So I continue to work hard–not to build another swimming pool or purchase another gazebo hand-built by the Amish–but to make sure that I have enough coinage in my purse to surprise those souls who worked harder than they should have for less than what they’re worth.

I have maintained the best part of being affluent: I still get a gas out of giving.