Bow

Bow: (v) to bend the knee or body or incline the head

“Every knee shall bow.”Dictionary B

When revivalists get all worked up and have a hankerin’ to preach, they love to pontificate on the notion that someday the world will be destroyed and the remaining rebellious humans who have not been slaughtered in a meaningless conflict will view a Jesus Christ arriving in the eastern sky, and at the sight of his august appearance, be driven down to their knees in reverent worship.

Some find it interesting.

Actually, it’s terrifying.

To write a book that begins with a gentle creation and ends with a third of the Earth being mutilated by weapons of mass destruction hardly seems a storyline worthy of a true Creator. If I wrote such a piece, I would deem it misled, angry and hopeless, and wad it up and throw it away.

So on those occasions when I find myself bowing, it is in the direction of an untold story lying within the plotline of the favored evangelical rendition, in which God’s love for the world is so intense that eventually we grow tired of our stupid attempts at meanness and revenge and simply relinquish our egos in the presence of a redeeming love.

 

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Anti-static

dictionary with letter A

Anti-static: (adj) of preventing the presence of static electricity or reducing its effect.

I will ask you in the forefront to please forgive this pensman for taking liberties with this word in order to climb up on my soapbox and postulate.

I know the word “anti-static” refers to electrical currents and the elimination of such activity, but I would like to transfer that notion to the general climate of static which is aggravating the potential sweet hum of peacefulness in our world today.

The Middle East is bound and determined to draw us into a premature Armageddon, so like little brats, we can once and for all prove there is a God by throwing such a severe tantrum that He must come and punish all of His children.

Not for me.

My message to President Obama, Congress and all those who would feel that they can live by the sword without suffering the curse of its blade, is very simple:

We should create a giant box for the Middle East and let them fight it out amongst each other until they grow tired of burying their children.

If we do not do this, the allure of war to please what can only be considered a damnable god, will prompt them, season upon season, to skirmish and hatch new rumors of mayhem.

For after all, we don’t discipline our children by entering into the scuffle and punching it out alongside them. And since we are all children of Earth, it stands to reason that it is ridiculous to try to correct our brothers and sisters by rolling in the dirt with them and trying to lay a haymaker.

So let me present this to you very succinctly:

Since we Americans have the military might and power to bomb the Middle East, might we have the same capability to surround them, refusing anything to go in or come out, and squeeze them with a gigantic world-wide siege, forcing them to the bargaining table, or causing them to no longer to provide food for their dinner table?

That’s right.

Nothing in or out.

Let them fight.

After all, they won’t kill any more than they already have, and if they do, let us realize that their motivation is not nearly as strong to destroy America and Europe as it is to punish their own religious families who don’t submit to every single precept of Koran law.

To do this, of course, we must quickly and intelligently wean ourselves off of the dastardly need for oil which trickles from such scoundrel surroundings.

I cannot honor my country for joining a war that is prophesied to be at the center of the end of the world. Even if you have no interest in the Bible, just consider it bad luck to pursue a faulty logic that places us anywhere near the epicenter of the superstitious conclusion of our planet.

Don’t go there.

We are not going to be able to stop the senseless slaughter because that execution is willed by the leadership of the people we are trying to save.

It is not in our best interest.

Dammit, it’s not in any interest, other than the spiritual ego of maniacs who have forgotten that God looks like people.

The best anti-static for this world is to refuse to leap, hop and jump in the direction of everything that goes bump in the night.

 

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Abet

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Abet: v.  encourage or assist (someone) to do something wrong–in particular, to commit a crime or other offense.

I don’t think we appreciate enough how powerful it is to do things halfway. Matter of fact, I’ve heard people in casual conversation criticize or even put down that amount of concerted effort.

Isn’t doing things halfway at least acknowledging that something should be done?? Even though you ended up not buying enough gas for the trip or packing enough tuna salad sandwiches (with just enough Miracle Whip…)

So now that I know the definition of abet, I am going to make a commitment (halfway as it is) to merely AID without abetting.

I have been as guilty as the next one, to both aid and abet. That means I’ve been willing to assist in projects, but also use lies, deceit and various other forms of chicanery to cover up the true actions transpiring.

This dictionary definition has convicted me of all my abetting. I will no longer cover up–just offer assistance to my calamitous and often-comical stumbling brothers and sisters.

So if you plan on shooting your pet pig, and are making an exit out of town to escape the trailing  police force from PETA, you can feel free to stop off at my house, and I will give you a baloney sandwich–to go. But I have absolutely no intention, from this point on, of hiding you in my basement and pretending I know nothing about your hog slaughter.

Now, I realize that’s halfway. But it just seems cruel to remove abetting from people AND suddenly to yank aiding at the same time.

So you will continue to receive sympathy from me, but I will no longer participate in hiding you out in my closet, safe from those who come to track you down.

Well, I suppose if you were Anne Frank … you could still use my attic.