Crowdfunding

Crowdfunding: (v) the activity or process of raising money from a large number of people, typically through a website

Let us assume it started with a guy named Jim.

Jim was a happy teenager, but his family was very poor. He had two pairs of jeans.

Both of them were old, both showing wear and even some tear.

Jim sat in his room, quietly trying to figure out how he could go to school without looking like he was poverty stricken.

Suddenly he had an idea. Rather than going to school with a pair of jeans that had one little tear in them, he would go ahead and tear them in several different places—and when others in his class laughed at him, he would explain that this was the rage from the West Coast.

Wearing tattered jeans.

At first his friends mocked him—and then one, maybe two—could it have been five? They stepped out from the taunting crowd and asked Jim where he got his jeans because they wanted a pair.

Jim made up some company, and since the teenagers were unable to find it, they went home and cut up their own jeans, which eventually became a fad. And then, all at once, the jeans that didn’t have wear and tear—didn’t have holes—were the cheap ones.

And the ripped ones were expensive.

Likewise, somewhere along the line, someone (maybe his name was Jim, too) anyway, he got tired of begging his family for money for lamebrain projects and having them turn him down because they weren’t gonna put another dime into what he did “until he went out and got a goddamn job.”

Well, this fellow—let’s just call him Jim—was too proud to go out on the street and hold a cardboard sign requesting aid. So Jim wrote a blurb describing what he would do with seed money, put together a website and started something called “crowdfunding,” which is nothing more than a way to beg for money while looking like you might be in the pursuit of a great endeavor.

It is the torn-up jeans of fundraising.

Most of the people who raise their money by crowdfunding don’t necessarily finish what they claimed they were going to do, but for a brief moment, we think the twenty dollars we donated might become the next Star Wars film, or fund a plunger that needs no human effort, but tackles the toilet by itself.

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C


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Arachnophobia

dictionary with letter A

Arachnophobia: (n) an irrational fear of spiders.

A fear of spiders.

Isn’t that like saying, “people who poop?”

I mean, it’s everybody, right?

You might have two creepy people you’ve met in your life who think spiders are cool, but you would never let them babysit your children, nor would you co-sign a loan so they could buy a really neat video game setup.

I guess the key word here is “irrational.” An irrational fear. When it comes to spiders, what would that be?

Honestly, I do not see parents turning to their children and saying, “Come on, Billy, it’s just a spider. Here’s a little comb. Preen his hairy legs.”

People have all sorts of pets, but no one has a pet spider. Matter of fact, I think having a pet spider might be one of the four profiles of a serial killer.

So what is an irrational fear of spiders?

I suppose if you mistook a box of raisins for spiders that might qualify.

Or if you believed the dried boogers in your nose were spiders and constantly tried to dig them out with Q-tips, I get that.

But other than that, a distaste for spiders is not really a fear, but rather, an intelligent pursuit.

I remember when I was told that you could tell a black widow spider by the hour-glass on its…well, I don’t remember. Was it its backside? Or its underside? Either way, if I have to get that close to be sure, just to have fellowship with a black spider without being prejudiced against it for being a black widow, I will pass.

Then there’s the brown recluse spider, which is brown, and I assume, reclusive. So I imagine if you happen upon one of them, they’d be really pissed off because you found their hiding place and they would spread some poison your way.

I don’t even want to get into tarantulas.

And Grandaddy Longlegs look like they should be in Star Wars.

I don’t like spiders.

If I reach the pearly gates and God finds my bigotry against them to be distasteful and feels I need to spend some time in purgatory for my intolerance, so be it.

Just as long as there are no spiders.

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Adobe

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAdobe: (n) a kind of clay used as a building material

I am so excited.

Finally! In the making of all the Star Wars movies, they are actually doing a sequel based on one of the more obscure characters, but certainly an individual mentioned frequently throughout the saga–a villain not given much of a back story. But after all, Han Solo is constantly trying to run away from him, fears him and ends up temporarily defeated by him, which is pretty remarkable considering the scrapes this cosmic knight survives.

I’m talking about Jabba the Hutt.

They’re thinking about making a movie based just on him. I think it’s brilliant. They will take him back to when he was a little Jabba growing up–going through an explanation of how his early childhood drooling never went away and his inability to speak clearly and concisely was caused by being imprisoned in a cave as a youngster by his even more wicked father–Adobe the Hutt.

Doesn’t that sound fascinating?

Adobe the Hutt was a mercenary fighter purchased by the highest bidder for any ruthless cause that might come his way. Even though his little boy, Jabba, wanted to pursue art and had a natural inclination for small-craft work, Adobe insisted he learn the family business and acquire the murderous traditions of the Hutt clan.

It could be a tear-jerker. It will teach us that human beings–or even Jabbas–are not born evil, but instead, learn foul behavior from their families, friends and the world around them.

So keep an eye out for it–a REAL sequel to Star Wars instead of a made-up one about paper-thin Jedi warriors.

Coming soon: Adobe the Hutt … the story of Jabba.


Adobe

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAdobe: (n) a kind of clay used as a building material

I am so excited.

Finally! In the making of all the Star Wars movies, they are actually doing a sequel based on one of the more obscure characters, but certainly an individual mentioned frequently throughout the saga–a villain not given much of a back story. But after all, Han Solo is constantly trying to run away from him, fears him and ends up temporarily defeated by him, which is pretty remarkable considering the scrapes this cosmic knight survives.

I’m talking about Jabir the Hut.

They’re thinking about making a movie based just on him. I think it’s brilliant. They will take him back to when he was a little Jabba growing up–going through an explanation of how his early childhood drooling never went away and his inability to speak clearly and concisely was caused by being imprisoned in a cave as a youngster by his even more wicked father–Adobe the Hut.

Doesn’t that sound fascinating?

Adobe the Hut was a mercenary fighter purchased by the highest bidder for any ruthless cause that might come his way. Even though his little boy, Jabba, wanted to pursue art and had a natural inclination for small-craft work, Adobe insisted he learn the family business and acquire the murderous traditions of the Hut clan.

It could be a tear-jerker. It will teach us that human beings–or even Jabbas–are not born evil, but instead, learn foul behavior from their families, friends and the world around them.

So keep an eye out for it–a REAL sequel to Star Wars instead of a made-up one about paper-thin Jedi warriors.

Coming soon: Adobe the Hut … the story of Jabba.