Arachnophobia: (n) an irrational fear of spiders.
A fear of spiders.
Isn’t that like saying, “people who poop?”
I mean, it’s everybody, right?
You might have two creepy people you’ve met in your life who think spiders are cool, but you would never let them babysit your children, nor would you co-sign a loan so they could buy a really neat video game setup.
I guess the key word here is “irrational.” An irrational fear. When it comes to spiders, what would that be?
Honestly, I do not see parents turning to their children and saying, “Come on, Billy, it’s just a spider. Here’s a little comb. Preen his hairy legs.”
People have all sorts of pets, but no one has a pet spider. Matter of fact, I think having a pet spider might be one of the four profiles of a serial killer.
So what is an irrational fear of spiders?
I suppose if you mistook a box of raisins for spiders that might qualify.
Or if you believed the dried boogers in your nose were spiders and constantly tried to dig them out with Q-tips, I get that.
But other than that, a distaste for spiders is not really a fear, but rather, an intelligent pursuit.
I remember when I was told that you could tell a black widow spider by the hour-glass on its…well, I don’t remember. Was it its backside? Or its underside? Either way, if I have to get that close to be sure, just to have fellowship with a black spider without being prejudiced against it for being a black widow, I will pass.
Then there’s the brown recluse spider, which is brown, and I assume, reclusive. So I imagine if you happen upon one of them, they’d be really pissed off because you found their hiding place and they would spread some poison your way.
I don’t even want to get into tarantulas.
And Grandaddy Longlegs look like they should be in Star Wars.
I don’t like spiders.
If I reach the pearly gates and God finds my bigotry against them to be distasteful and feels I need to spend some time in purgatory for my intolerance, so be it.
Just as long as there are no spiders.
Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) — J.R. Practix