Cupid

Cupid: (n) the ancient Roman god of love represented as a winged, naked, infant boy with a bow and arrows.

Romance is idiotic.

This doesn’t mean it’s not amazing.

I’m not trying to tell you there isn’t great joy in the percolation of human sexuality.

Romance is idiotic because the justifications we generate to permit ourselves to “swoon in June by the light of the silvery moon” are downright hilariously ignorant.

I laugh whenever I hear two lovers explain that they can’t help themselves.

“The heart wants what the heart wants.”

I’m not so sure the heart has much to do with it.

But the lust wants what the lust wants.

That’s darned tootin’ true.

To further justify the erratic tendencies of romance, we have borrowed this character from mythology—Cupid.

He shoots arrows, you know.

They are arrows of love.

I think that is definitely an oxymoron.

Or it’s simply a misplacement of a vowel or a consonant, which should actually read:

“The eros of love.”

Eros is the Greek word for sexual intercourse.

So a man with a wife and three children will swear before the Supreme Court that Cupid shot him with an arrow, and that is why he ended up screwing his twenty-two-year-old secretary.

He will be very sincere.

He might even cry about the deep affection he has suddenly acquired.

But one of the greatest truths we can impart to ourselves as men is that having an erect penis is not permission to continue. And as women, getting wet may require going somewhere to dry out.

It is not an issue of decency.

It is an attempt to keep us from acting like rabbits living in a hole, constantly searching for a hole.

We may not like the responsibility of tempering our sexuality—becoming more adept at dodging Cupid’s arrows—but we owe it to ourselves to rationally and purposefully exchange seventy years of peace of mind for seven seconds of juicy pleasure.

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Balance of Power

Balance of power: (n) the proposed equality among the Legislative, Judicial and Executive branches of the U.S. government.Dictionary B

Even though it is the job of a writer to question common thinking or even common sense if it has lost its prudence, it can still be a frightening proposal–to draft an objection.

There are some things we call sacred.

For instance, family.

Even though we know our scope should be larger than our own nuclear conglomeration of people, to propose such a concept to a single-minded community of households can be quite hazardous.

The same thing is true with the balance of power proposed among the Executive, Legislative and Judicial branches of the U. S. government.

I find the whole concept to be fallacious.

There is no true balance of power–just as there is no such thing as complete equality in marriage. There are just times when people are smarter, sharper, more informed, better prepared or suited for a specific task–and if we are intelligent, we allow that individual or group to step forward without interference.

The forefathers were deeply concerned to make sure that no one ever got the same authority over them that King George III usurped. So in an over-reaction, they tried to split the responsibilities among three different branches of government, which almost immediately generated the equality of dropping the ball.

  • Is abortion really a Supreme Court decision?
  • Is gay marriage?
  • Should gun control really be up to the legislature?
  • Should treaties be drafted by the Executive Branch?

It’s all rather erroneous–and seems to be a made-up solution for what may not even be a problem.

But like the Electoral College, we are madly in love with the idea of the “balance of power,” when even in our marriages, we know that we switch back and forth between playing the role of dependent and genius.

After all, a man never feels more helpless than when watching his wife birth their child, and many women have still not learned how to negotiate the opening of a jar of pickles. 

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Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

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