Cordial

Cordial: (adj) courteous and gracious; friendly; warm:

“It doesn’t work! Not nowadays!”

That’s the statement flung in my direction whenever I suggest that kindness, gentleness and being cordial is a viable option to bitterness, strife and animosity.

It seems the entire human race is frightened by the prospect that being merciful is setting them up, like a golf ball on a tee, to be driven far, far away by a funny wisdom on words that begin with a C
smack with a club.

Yet no one sits down and asks the simple question, “What happens when people are no longer intimidated by your bad attitude?”

You may frighten people off by being suspicious, nasty and unfriendly, but eventually, someone will be terror-free, and others will learn to shed their fear of you. Then they will come with torches and pitchforks, to kill the Frankenstein who was so rude to them.

That would be you.

There’s one thing for certain—no one has to go to bed nervous, asking him or herself, “Is my cordial attitude going to backfire on me?”

There’s a peace that follows being peaceful.

There’s a blessedness attached to being a peace-maker.

It is so precious that people will begin to believe that you’re a child of God.

The bravest thing you can ever do in your life is to refuse to fight, argue, attack and brutalize another human being. The risk is that they will still turn on you and destroy you while you stand there, helpless.

But there is the possibility that your unwillingness to draw blood in conflict with them will at least give them pause.

If you refuse to join the battle, any further attack makes them murderers if they kill you, not warriors.

Cordial people survive to have great-grandchildren and write the history books about those they out-loved.


Donate Button


Subscribe to Jonathan’s Weekly Podcast

Good News and Better News

 

Advertisements

Altercation

dictionary with letter A

 J. R. Practix

J. R. Practix

Altercation: (n) a noisy argument or disagreement

I just found another oxymoron.

Whenever I find one it gives me a chill. How ’bout this one?

A quiet argument.

Certainly I’ve been around people who keep their voices down during altercations, trying to pass on the impression that they weren’t pissed off, but it usually failed miserably because they were biting their lip or exhibiting other behavior that was full of animosity.

Let us understand what an argument truly is. It will also help us to understand an altercation.

An argument is a disagreement between people who believe they can convince the other party of the merits of their opinion, and when they fail to do so, they reach for the closest childish tantrum still roaming around in their souls, and exhibit it.

If we actually did have discussions with the goal of finding balanced thinking on some issue, that would be great–filled with outstanding potential. But most of us are truly convinced that we can wheedle our will into someone else’s mind, either through intimidation or the use of our supreme intelligence.

I will not discuss anything with anyone unless both parties involved will admit that the reason the discussion has occurred is because each of us is ignorant in some way.

I don’t believe there is any such thing as a quiet argument. So an altercation is the posture we select when we feel that our egos haves been besmirched by the cunning efforts of our adversary … who is equally as egotistical.


Adjure

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Adjure (v): to urge or request someone solemnly to do something. e.g. I adjure you to tell the truth.

I have been part of discussions that started out in a desperate attempt to remain civil, often by using fancier language and cautious terminology. I’ve even heard people who were trying to convince me of the error of my ways tell me that they “adjure me” to consider another option.

The end result, in my experience, to those ventures in civility are that they eventually break down and people start slinging their hash instead of sipping their wine and nibbling their cheese.

Now, I DO understand the importance of humane treatment and respectful dialogue. But if you put a cork in a bottle and the pressure builds up, the cork can explode, impaling a near-by victim.

We have to be careful when we go into a situation with great feelings of animosity and bruised emotions, that we don’t merely put off the avalanche of misgivings by trying to build a safety net.

This actually makes things worse. Let me tell you what turns a simple conversation into a heated discussion and ultimately causes it to degrade into a nasty argument.

1. Unrealistic expectation. If people are mad, they’re mad. Setting rules for the dialogue only makes them madder.

2. When we try to hide our true sensations behind words like “adjure,” we end up coming across as condescending. (“Well, I guess I didn’t expect you to understand, given your situation.”) Condescension is what changes a normal conversation into a heated discussion.

3. Abandoning the subject. Once we feel someone has been condescending to us, the leap to rampaging usually occurs when we completely abandon the present subject, to attack the other individual personally. It can be bringing up the past, pointing out a foible that you’ve never mentioned before, or just attributing to the partner in conversation a series of assertions that he or she deems to be lies.

So how can we resolve a conflict without becoming either “hoity-toity” or turning the situation into an episode of The Fight Club?

My suggestion is this: don’t let moments pass.

If something occurs to you NOW, say it. By the time you share it later, it is completely blown out of proportion. Also, in the first fruits of frustration, we are more pliable about being wrong than we are when our hurts and pains have fermented in our brains.

Always keep in mind that big, unusual words–terminology grabbed to express supremacy–are usually received as an attack on the intelligence of the hearer.

You don’t have to agree with that, but I think when you let the sun set on your anger, you always wake up in the morning … certain that you’re right.

Abscise

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Abscise: v. to cut off or away.

The problem with cutting is that it’s always done too quickly, with an impetuous disregard. We are so determined to divide some piece of a whole into parts that we snip away with careless abandon, leaving a jagged edge.

Oh, yes–I encounter the frayed ends every single day of my life. People are finding themselves divided by careless leaders and causes, determined to create animosity instead of finding a way to generate a sense of union.

It’s all over our country.

The Mason Dixon line is not a smooth pathway that differentiates between “Northern and Southern thinking,” but rather, a deep-rooted tear in the fabric of our nation, continuing a verbal Civil War–between those who feel progressive and those loyal to a former time.

Even in the medical field of surgery, cutting is a last resort. It is what the doctor chooses to do when the combination of medications and the human immune system fail to unite to dispel the infection.

Is it possible for us to join forces to vomit the evil from our thoughts as a nation instead of continuing to cut our flesh like some frustrated teenage girl, aggravated by her neurotic insecurity? I don’t know.

But what I have decided is to never be part of the abscising of the “Body Americana” merely to demonstrate my power and prowess. I am not better without you. I am not self-sufficient. I cannot be ripped from the lineage of my fellow-citizens and expect to maintain the integrity of my birthright and freedom.

I cannot decry you of your rights and sleep at night, content in my own. I cannot make fun of you because you fail to recognize my obvious superiority and still keep my intelligence intact.

There are people who are proud of the fact that they stand up for their cause by tearing apart everything around them. Historically, they have been called ignorant, traitors, fools and backward thinking. They will be again.

I offer no malice to them whatsoever. But I also refuse to join their mob.

I plan on doing no abscising.  I am walking around my country with a needle and thread, looking for ways to repair the breach.