Tag Archives: excuses

Besiege

Besiege: (v) to purposely surround

Dictionary B

Good intentions are the excuses we are prepared to make when we know, deep in our hearts, that we may just be interfering.

It really comes down to two words: hug or surround.

What is the difference? If you’re standing at a distance, they can appear to be the same thing:

  • In both cases, they resemble an embrace.
  • In both cases, they bring you close to the source of your focus.
  • And in both cases, they temporarily confine others to your moment’s emotion.

But a hug is something you want–or even need.

Being surrounded is the whim of the person who’s decided for you what you need.

You can see, one is quite the opposite of the other.

There is a general weakness in the human race which makes us feel that we are responsible to make other people as devoted, sacred, disturbed or entrenched as we are–even if it doesn’t make them happy.

We don’t want to be a testimony to others–we prefer taking the role of judge and jury.

So in my journey, I’ve discovered that even though I think I have an insight on the predicament or progress of other human beings, I will stand afar and allow them to know that I’m available … but not besieging them with my presence.

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Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix 

 

Below

Below: (prep) at a lower level

Dictionary B

It takes guts.

It probably shouldn’t.

Honesty, by its very definition, should be a statement of the reality that we presently know.

But since reality tends to scare us, we develop stories. We conjure excuses. And we fail to realize that our character–and ultimately, our popularity–is determined by how well we recognize when our efforts are below standard, and admit the shortage instead of denying responsibility.

How wonderful it would be if I could convince myself, and maybe therefore others around me, that the only way to be truly diminished is to insist that I never fall below the best.

  • We all do.
  • We all will.

And we all have an opportunity to be considered valuable by admitting this deficiency instead of covering it up.

It baffles me that I don’t know this. Why I pause before telling the truth of the matter is a great source of mystery to my soul.

Because when I am candid, the world rushes to my side to lift up my spirits and encourage me to do better.

When I lie, I make humanity around me turn into my enemies so they can honor the traditions of candor.

My efforts are often below the quality I am capable of achieving.

I have never improved my status … by lying about it. 

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Belated

Belated: (adj) coming or happening later than should have been the case

Dictionary B

“You are not important enough for me to remember your birthday, but I am important enough for you to be overjoyed that I finally sent you a greeting.”

This is belated in a simple explanation.

It is the idea that life is so busy that it’s only natural for us to be forgetful, careless and tardy.

It’s the person who constantly arrives late to a luncheon, saying “sorry,” and then gives a litany of lame excuses for the delay:

  • Lots of traffic.
  • Something came up at the last minute.
  • My GPS screwed up.
  • I thought we were supposed to meet a half an hour later.
  • I got a phone call just as I pulled into the parking lot.
  • Well, I could go on and on with examples, because inconsiderate people never run out of explanations on why they are more important than you are.

We need to remember that forgiveness is not something we can ask for, but rather, something that’s granted.

Our job is to admit we are wrong.

Forgiveness is up to other people to provide to us–out of the kindness and gentleness of their heart.

People who are obsessed with belated greetings are not only trying to justify themselves, but also assuming that we will pardon them… because they are so essential to our well-being.Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix 

 

Ammonia

dictionary with letter A

Ammonia: (n) a colorless gas with a characteristic pungent smell which dissolves in water to give a strongly alkaline solution.

I was a punk.

What I mean by that is that I was twenty years old, married with two children and thought I knew everything. And if I didn’t, it wasn’t worth knowing.

We were poor.

Not the kind of ditch-digging poor, but impoverished … because we didn’t have jobs.

We lived in an upstairs hovel that a dump might consider suitable to deposit its trash. We tried to keep it clean, striking an agreement with the cockroaches to only come out at night.

Both of my young sons were in diapers. This was long before the practicality of Pampers. We’re talking about cloth diapers, which we kept in a pail of water in preparation for the laundromat.

So one of my downstairs neighbors took it upon herself to call Children’s Services to report our lack. They showed up and complained that the house smelled like ammonia from the diapers.

It did.

It was very difficult to disguise it. It’s similar to the situation where people own a cat and insist that the kitty litter deters the odor, until you walk in and sniff the air.

Apparently the ammonia thing was a big deal to this lady from Children’s Services. We had to go to a hearing in front of a judge to discuss our dirty laundry.

The lady railed against us in front of the magistrate for a good fifteen minutes. She closed her indictment by describing in vivid detail the stench of the ammonia in our abode.

I have never felt such a collision of emotions. I was embarrassed, enraged, convicted,  confused and basically helpless.

When my accuser was done, “Your Honor” turned to me and asked me if I had anything to say. For the first time in my young adult life, I was speechless.

So the judge stepped in, sensing my plight, and cited, “Don’t all diapers smell like either poop or ammonia?”

Although my attacker tried to object and further elaborate on the odor, the judge silenced her and dismissed the case.

I had experienced the mercy of the court.

I grew up a lot that day. We tried to wash our diapers more often, to prevent ammonia from filling the air.

It is a rather nasty, stinging aroma.

 

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Ammo

dictionary with letter A

Ammo: (n.) informal term for ammunition.

My dad decided to take my older brother and I rabbit hunting.

I didn’t want to go but I had used up all my excuses trying to dodge attending school on undesirable days.

So I was dressing, getting ready for the excursion, when my brother stomped into the room and declared to everyone, “I stored the ammo in the trunk.”

He then posed for a moment, seeking approval over both his deed and proclamation. I quickly ran into the other room and hid in the closet so as not to suffer the intensity of being knuckled on the head by my older sibling.

Once inside, with the door closed, I giggled until I cried. What a doofus!

One thing was sure–all the rabbits in Delaware County were safe for another day.

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Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

Adequate

Words from Dic(tionary)

Adequate: (adj.) satisfactory or acceptable in quality or quantity.dictionary with letter A

 Five steps to building a loser (for after all, they ARE manufactured, not born):

  1. Teach him or her that they were born special and unique. (For if you’re going to fail and not measure up to the standards set around you, you need to be able to forgive it by mentioning your individual genetic configuration.)
  2. Tell him or her that all they have to do is their best. (Being human, our best is eventually defined as the amount of energy we are willing to expend at any moment on any situation.)
  3. You should also tell them that they deserve praise for just trying. (Addicting people to praise is leaving them to believe that they’re going to be able to acquire the drug on the street. They won’t.)
  4. Let them know that excuses are the same as apologies. (Can we make this clear? An excuse is the opposite of an apology. An excuse is asking someone to understand why it was completely impossible for you to achieve the goal. An apology is an admission that the goal needed to be achieved, and unfortunately, you fell short.)
  5.  And finally, communicate to him or her that everyone wins. (Matter of fact, print certificates of participation, place gold stars on their sheet or make sure the pizza party planned for the winners is diluted by including everyone who lost.)

We live in a world where we honor people who train, excel, pursue and win the prize.  There is usually only one.

Contrary to Mr. Webster (or Ms., so as not to be sexist) adequate is not satisfying. Adequate is also not acceptable.

Adequate is when people inform us that they don’t believe we can do better. It is why we will not put up with an adequate doctor, an adequate plumber or even an adequate person washing our car.

What we expect from others we need to apply to ourselves. Since we know there is no reward for the first mile and blessing only in the second mile, how could we ever think we should be applauded … at the half-mile mark?

Abutment

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Abutment: (n.) a structure built to support the lateral pressure of an arch or span, e.g., at the ends of a bridge.

There you go. I’ve been looking for the right term, and I think I’ve found it.

I want to be an abutment.

For many years I have been fully aware that there is a need for bridges between people in our society and the cultures in our world. Bridges are easy to understand–they’re just roads we pave to get from one place to another.

But because they have to go over circumstances and the rough terrain of bad attitudes, these bridges between people need to be lifted high, suspended in the air. To do that requires a structure that stands tall and firm in order to uplift the path and permit the bridge to be completed to the other side.

I want to be one of those abutments.

I want to be stubborn about the things that set people free instead of being stubborn about my prejudices.

I want to stand tall on principles that have lasted for thousands of years instead of ideas that have just been hatched and blogged in a thousand words.

I want to hold up the road that crosses the angry waters that exist between human civilizations.

What do I think makes a good abutment?

1. NoOne is better than anyone else. Superiority is the best way to keep us on the low road instead of suspending great ideas to the stars.

2. I’m going to stop blaming everybody for my problems. The day that we started blaming instead of claiming responsibility is the day we found excuses for failing instead of ways to correct error.

3. And finally, I’m not going to judge anyone because I can’t stand to be judged.

Can you imagine, if we just took those three abutments of great ideas and built them up strongly in our culture–how it would sustain a bridge for us all?

Yes, I want to be an abutment. I don’t have to be the bridge. I just need to learn to be strong about the things that are lasting, and admit my weakness about the things that are stupid.

Ablution

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Ablution: n. the act of washing oneself, often used for humorously formal effect.

I just realized that this is a society FILLED with ablution. I think if I shared that in public, I would be greeted with great bewilderment, since most people don’t know what ablution means. But we are either constantly talking about cleansing ourselves to avoid disease and exposure to death and destruction OR we are finding ourselves with our hand in the cookie jar, wanting to deny any responsibility.

I’ve been working on this.

The other day I was eating some delicious shrimp when one of them fell to the floor. I quickly picked it up off the dirty carpet and consumed it. Moments later, a green bean from my plate also fell, tumbling to the same carpet … and I picked it up and cast it into the trash can, fearing that it was dirty.

I realized that I have selective cleanliness.

Also in that same day, I discovered I had made a severe error in calculation. I found myself running a catalogue in my mind of potential causes for this mistake. I came up with a bounty of fruitful ideas to escape my personal responsibility. I realized how easy it was to temporarily grant oneself absolution without ever being guiltless.

You see, here’s the problem–the shrimp was just as dirty as the green bean, or else neither one was dirty. And telling a lie about my own foibles only temporarily delays the embarrassment when others discover them and relish the exposure.

It’s tricky business. Sometimes it doesn’t make any difference. For instance, my tainted shrimp did not kill me. But sometimes you wash your hands of a situation to make yourself free of blame …  and you end up crucifying your best chance for hope.

Ablution

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Ablution: n. the act of washing oneself, often used for humorously formal effect.

I just realized that this is a society FILLED with ablution. I think if I shared that in public, I would be greeted with great bewilderment, since most people don’t know what ablution means. But we are either constantly talking about cleansing ourselves to avoid disease and exposure to death and destruction OR we are finding ourselves with our hand in the cookie jar, wanting to deny any responsibility.

I’ve been working on this.

The other day I was eating some delicious shrimp when one of them fell to the floor. I quickly picked it up off the dirty carpet and consumed it. Moments later, a green bean from my plate also fell, tumbling to the same carpet … and I picked it up and cast it into the trash can, fearing that it was dirty.

I realized that I have selective cleanliness.

Also in that same day, I discovered I had made a severe error in calculation. I found myself running a catalogue in my mind of potential causes for this mistake. I came up with a bounty of fruitful ideas to escape my personal responsibility. I realized how easy it was to temporarily grant oneself absolution without ever being guiltless.

You see, here’s the problem–the shrimp was just as dirty as the green bean, or else neither one was dirty. And telling a lie about my own foibles only temporarily delays the embarrassment when others discover them and relish the exposure.

It’s tricky business. Sometimes it doesn’t make any difference. For instance, my tainted shrimp did not kill me. But sometimes you wash your hands of a situation to make yourself free of blame …  and you end up crucifying your best chance for hope.