Tag Archives: fashion

Crystal

Crystal: (n) a clear, transparent mineral or glass resembling ice.

 “I want to make this crystal-clear.”

Have you heard this statement?

Every time someone speaks these words, I consider crystal.

Crystal is not a pane of glass which you can see through clearly to the other side.

It appears to be. It seems to be pure.

But when you look through crystal there are distortions.

Things are just a little twisted.

The light bends through, creating contorted images.

Yet it’s very easy to insist to those around us that this “crystal vision” is an accurate representation of what we are viewing.

We have become too successful in our society at hiding evil behind a crystal lens, which has been cut, trimmed and placed in a position to convey the image we wish to portray instead of what is real.

It’s like a pair of glasses–every pair works for only one person.

The lenses have been cut, sized and measured for the eyesight of that individual. When we wear the spectacles of another traveler, our vision is clouded and sometimes even makes our heads spin.

What we really want to do is work on our eyesight and purify it.

Make sure the light of our body is our eye and it’s like a pane of glass.

So even if we decide to wear a pair of glasses for fashion, all we need to do is put glass in them, without messing with the adjustment.

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

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Courtly

Courtly: (adj) very polite or refined, as befitting a royal court.

Avoiding hassle.

Even though I understand that hassle is often what challenges our intelligence and helps us grow, it is certainly natural to try to elude it.

One of the primary ways to do this is to plant, deep within your consciousness, the understanding that everybody in the world has an opinion on how they think they should be treated—and if your approach varies from that, you are opening the door to hassle.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

There are so many social movements discussing how men and women should treat each other, or what is considered racially insensitive, that it is time for forward-thinking people to develop a lifestyle that is purposely innocuous, to aid us in dodging conflict.

Cases in point:

Some people appreciate honesty while other people want you to lie to them profusely (especially when it comes to evaluating their appearance or deeds).

There are those who want to be encouraged, and some who require critique.

And we certainly are aware that some travelers are more emotionally sensitive than others.

I will tell you—the only safe profile is to be courtly.

Yes, if you give the same respect to every fellow-shopper at Wal-Mart that you would offer if you were in Buckingham Palace with the Queen of England, you will pretty well guarantee never offending a human being with your profile.

So, if you walk in front of someone, say “Excuse me.”

If you bump into them, remind them of how clumsy you are.

If both of you come to the checkout line at the same time, let them go first.

And if they ask you how they look in their new swimsuit, defer to someone else who has superior wisdom on fashion.

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Collar

Collar: (n) a band of material around the neck of a shirt, dress, coat, or jacket

Feeling very comfortable with my interactions with a dear young lady, I explained to her that I preferred collarless shirts. She listened intently,
coming very close to feigning interest.

I explained that the collar rubbed against my neck–itched–and when I sweat, made my skin burn.

It was further aggravated if I inserted a tie into the shirt, needing to fasten that top button. She listened and listened. She even smiled a couple of times.

At the end of the conversation, when I felt I had thoroughly explained the reasons for my preference, she walked over and looked around my neck and said, “I don’t think the collar is your problem.”

I was stupefied. (Well, at least confused.)

I said, “Okay… What is my problem?”

“You just have a really, really dirty neck,” she said.

I was offended. I suppose there were other choices available to me, but fortunately, she stepped in and offered to wash my neck for me so I would understand that my skin was soiled and therefore overly sensitive.

So she got a sudsy washcloth and gently rubbed my neck until it was clean. I was embarrassed, enticed, curious, dumbfounded and a little turned on.

She finished washing my neck, dried it with a clean towel and put some lotion on it.

She was right.

I never had another problem wearing a shirt with a collar.

The only problem was scheduling the times for her to come and wash my neck.

 

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Caviar

Caviar: (n) the pickled roe of sturgeon or other large fish, eaten as a delicacy.

Fishy, mushy and salty. That’s how I would describe caviar.

I will now pause and consider if any one of those words is appealing.

Fish, themselves, have to be careful not to be too fishy.

We normally fry our mush so it won’t be mushy.

And salty is a lovely taste if it’s bringing out another flavor which takes predominance.

I won’t even mention the abortion of sturgeon babies that’s involved in the process of putting together this little delicacy.

But I did learn a long time ago that part of being opulent is convincing yourself that you like things that other people don’t, simply because they cost a lot of money.

It doesn’t matter if it makes you miserable or if it causes your taste buds to recoil. Learn to enjoy it so when people see you doing it they will place you in a category which is superior to the norm.

It also explains much of fashion, music and politics. If there’s money for it, then there must be a reason for it.

I am hardly a country person–but if offered caviar on a cracker, or sausage gravy on biscuits, I will pull my chair up with those south of the Mason Dixon line.

 

 

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Brie

j-r-practix-with-border-2

Brie: (n) a kind of soft, mild, creamy cheese with a firm white skin

I’m as guilty as the next person in finding practices, methods and terminologies that are considered to be preferred, and then promoting them to let folks know how cool I am.Dictionary B

I will drop a brand name at just the right moment to confirm that I am aware of fashion.

I will mention a particular book I read or movie I saw to explain the depth of my current affairs.

So recently when I was planning a party and I brought up the word “cheese,” what came to my mind was Swiss, mozzarella, provolone or cheddar. If there were budget constraints I would even consider Velveeta. I inadvertently mentioned everything (except Velveeta) and a friend lurched back in horror, explaining that these were not cheeses–merely marketable molds.

I was told that Brie was the only acceptable variety that could be served at a party for “know-about-its.” Anything else placed on a platter would appear to either have been an accident or an affrontation.

I was especially startled when I discovered the price of this cheese, and realized that someone had succeeded in marketing their particular sour milk product as “refined”–to the detriment of other Wisconsin standards.

I have to admit to you that I took a risk.

I bought a cheese that looked like Brie and put it on the plate, assuming that no one knew what the product was–just desired confirmation that it was “the good stuff.”

Comically, they ate the “cheese food” product all night long, content that they were among the elite, consuming Brie. Donate ButtonThank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix 

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Bermuda Shorts

Bermuda shorts: (n) casual knee-length short trousers.

Dictionary B

For the sake of lingering pieces of vanity, I would like to say that I am completely unfamiliar with Bermuda shorts, but unfortunately, I was around when they hit the shores from Bermuda, and shortly thereafter, basically disappeared.

Let me tell you something about fashion: fashion is the latest trend available to those who basically look good in anything.

If you have a bulge here and there, misshapen space or a cluttered cloister, you are very unlikely to ever be comfortable or attractive in the latest threads.

Such it was with Bermuda shorts.

They were knee-length, usually had some sort of odd print on them, and they left the rest of your leg exposed.

When I tried them on, it appeared that some sausage had seeped out of the bottom of its casing.

Not to mention the fact that no matter how tall you may be, when you are chubby you appear shorter. Bermuda shorts helped to accentuate this dwarfism.

I didn’t wear them a second time.

Matter of fact, I might have been one of the souls instrumental … in mocking them off the fashion runway.

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At

At: (prep) expressing location or time of an eventdictionary with letter A

It is the most important step of maturing–and I don’t mean that as an overwrought assessment.

I have spent my entire life trying to learn where to be at. (And that includes overcoming my fear of ending in a preposition.)

At is everything.

90% of our wasted energy is ending up in the wrong place with the passion to do the right thing.

We get confused by at:

We try to follow the beckoning of a society which has learned how to scream without using reason.

We try to follow the trends of fashion, only to end up with a closet of quickly outdated threads.

Finding out where to be at is allowing yourself the silence of consideration and the patience of timing.

I am of a great conviction that I am exactly at where I should be. Many of my friends would disagree. Their inclination would be that I should increase my intensity or give in to aging.

  • At is more than a location.
  • At is more than timing.
  • At is much more than a state of being.

At is the gift provided for the observant soul who is willing to adjust locales and cross time zones … in order to achieve better results.

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Aquamarine

dictionary with letter A

Aquamarine (n): a light bluish-green color.

This may sound very selfish, but one of the fringe benefits of the recent civil rights afforded to the gay community (aside from the fact that we live in a free country and it was basically inevitable once the belly-aching ceased) is that we no longer have to be threatened by other men saying “that’s gay.”

It has become a taboo.

It used to be a perpetual, common horror.

I remember many years ago when leisure suits were both leisurely and in fashion, I found one at a discount store, marked down, which happened to be my size. It was aquamarine.

You see, the problem was that even though it was a much more colorful era, certain hues were still looked upon as being suspect of your sexual orientation. Add to the fact that I was a piano player, and you had the makings of a San Francisco gay parade.

Not only did I get an occasional sneer and sidewise comment, like, “Nice color, big boy,” but I also began to envision that I was being stared at by the entire world, viewed as a “man lover.”

So paranoid was I that I started prancing around like John Wayne and using the deepest timbre my voice could muster. When wearing the aquamarine garment, I was always quick to point out that I was married and had fathered children from my own manly source.

It was crazy.

Finally, even though I loved the outfit, I purposefully “accidentally” forgot it at a motel. (What I mean is, I actually did forget it, but remembered it by the time I got to the elevator and decided not to go back for it.)

So somewhere in Yuma, Arizona, there is a big fat man wearing an aquamarine leisure suit … who obviously has much more confidence than I do.

 

 

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Apothecary

dictionary with letter A

Apothecary: (n.–archaic) a person who prepared and sold medicines.

I was just thinking about these three names–apothecary, drugstore and pharmacy. Don’t ever tell me that words don’t have significance.

For if someone told me they were “going to the apothecary,” I would conjure visions of someone sitting around mixing chemicals, trying to turn lead into gold.

Unfortunately, in my twisted mind, if you told me you were heading for the drugstore, I would see some guy with slick-backed hair, two day’s growth of beard, pulling little plastic packets out of his coat to sell on the street corner.

I think that’s why we ended up with “pharmacy,” although there are no animals, barnyards or crops involved. (Please forgive that.)

Do words get tired, or do we get tired of words? Because we’re certainly justified by what words we use, and also condemned.

For the person who says he is heading to the apothecary immediately casts himself in the role of the ancient of days.

And drugstore does reek a bit of being white trash. (Not that there’s anything wrong with white trash. As far as I’m concerned, since I’m a forward-thinking human being, you can be whatever color of trash you desire.)

But somewhere along the line, the apothecary had to become the pharmacy, and someday the pharmacy will be much too stuffy and we’ll have to come up with another name for it.

But I seriously doubt if we’ll ever go back to apothecary … unless men wearing tights and pointy shoes return to fashion. 

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