Tag Archives: heart attack

Bet

Bet: (v) to feel sureDictionary B

There are those who deem themselves very conservative and would insist they would never place a bet on anything–as they sit down at a fast food restaurant and devour a double-bacon cheeseburger, betting that their arteries will withstand the attack.

We all bet.

  • In politics, they call it “tendencies” and “polls.”
  • In business, they refer to it as “great ideas” or “hunches.”
  • In romance, it’s deemed “beauty” or “fragrance.”
  • And in religion, we revere it as “faith.”

For after all, none of us are sure of much of anything as it pertains to the future, and all attempts to contradict that ignorance only make us appear insistent, not intelligent.

So what do I bet on?

1. I bet that people are self-involved, and you get along a whole lot better when you know it.

2. I bet there’s more evil in a private meeting of a political party than there ever is in twenty demons congregating over the fires of hell.

3. I bet the things that have sustained us–faith, hope and love–will continue to work, even when some cynics consider them outdated.

4. And I bet that I will reap what I sow.

These are my sure bets.

I have found that when I understand them to be true … I always end up with an excellent payout.

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix 

 

Basketball

Basketball: (n) a game played between two teams of five players in which goals are scored by throwing a ball through a netted hoopDictionary B

I was the fattest kid in my class.

It is a distinction without appreciation.

But I liked basketball.

I started playing it when I was seven years old with another kid who ended up being a champion at hoops. So I was fairly good–especially for a fat boy.

But I did not look like a basketball player. This was troublesome to folks–because talent needs more than ability. It requires a “look.”

Basketball players are meant to be tall and skinny.

I was 5 foot 11—in every direction.

So when I joined the team there was a chuckle and a cynical ripple among my peers. When I competed, there was some amusement.

And when I made the first string, there were those who were astounded that there was nobody to beat me out, and grown-ups who thought I might run up and down the court and have a heart attack.

It’s been this way for me in everything in my life:

  • I am not an attractive man, so some of my friends thought I would never procure a woman.
  • I have short, stubby fingers, so most people thought it would be impossible for me to play piano.
  • I never went to college, so how do I have the audacity to compose and write?

More often than not, we require the “look” of basketball along with the skill.

And as fans, we often are not satisfied unless all the visuals are present … to accompany the slam dunk.

 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

*******************
Don’t let another Christmas go by without purchasing Jonathan’s bestselling Christmas book!

Mr. Kringle’s Tales … 26 Stories ‘Til Christmas

Click here to read all about Mr. Kringle's Tales...26 Stories Til Christmas! Only $5.99 plus $1.25 shipping and handling.

Click here to read all about Mr. Kringle’s Tales…26 Stories Til Christmas! Only $5.99 plus $1.25 shipping and handling.

 

“The best Christmas stories I’ve ever read!”

From the toy shop to the manger, an advent calendar of Christmas stories, beginning on November 30th and ending on Christmas morning.

We need a good Christmas this year.

Mr. Kringle’s Tales will help you make it so.

Buy today.

"Buy

 

 

 

Avid

Avid: (adj) having or showing a keen interest in or enthusiasm for something.

Confusing times increase the sales of antacids. (Forgive me–I was looking for an up-side.)dictionary with letter A

So after you run out and invest in Tums, International, please consider this: it will be necessary for you and I to become avid about certain causes and issues.

There are two reasons for this:

  1. Without having some sort of conviction, we come across very dull, therefore decreasing our sexuality and monetary possibilities.
  2. Important causes will survive persecution and have a victory party, which we probably would like to attend.

How can you determine, in this crazy era of over-promotion, what purposes deserve your passion? Here’s a four-step process

A. Is it going to benefit me?

I understand it’s considered noble to appear selfless, but perhaps in doing so, we commit the most selfish act. None of us are selfless, so considering our own feelings will certainly occur. Therefore budgeting that in as a factor is only realistic

B. Will it come back to haunt me because of those I’ve mistreated?

Most of the time I don’t judge other people simply because I don’t want them looking into my business. It’s annoying to have people take inventory of your faults just because they’re trying to get even over a critical slip of your tongue

C. What is the history on the issue?

  • For instance, has slavery been successful throughout the ages?
  • How about forbidding rights to people?
  • Have individuals who hold “witch trials” ended up being considered innovative and generous?

Be smart. After all, history is just today with two weeks of vacation.

D. Will my involvement help?

There is a power in using what you have to do good. No doubt about that. There’s also a power in knowing when your personal contribution is worthless.

So there you go.

I know I have to be avid. Otherwise I will lull myself into an emotional sleep from which I will only be stirred with the warning signs of my heart attack. 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

*******************

NEW BOOK RELEASE BY JONATHAN RICHARD CRING

WITHIN

A meeting place for folks who know they’re human

 $3.99 plus $2.00 S&H

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

Buy Now Button

 

Artery

Artery: (n) any of the muscular-walled tubes forming part of the circulation system by which blood (mainly that which has been oxygenated) is conveyed from thedictionary with letter A heart to all parts of the body.

The doctor frowned at me, peering over her glasses at a chart, unseen to my perception. She said, “You have the arteries of a seventy-five-year-old man.”

I replied, “I am so sorry. I will return them as soon as I acquire some of my own.”

She did not laugh.

Doctors are not allowed to laugh, especially when they’re staring at charts with nasty scrawlings.

Most of my adult life, my understanding of the artery was to assume that it has been clogged. Being raised on an American diet which certainly has a similar effect to a long-haired woman taking numerous showers in your bathtub, clogging is nearly inevitable.

So when I heard this, even though I joked with my doctor, I was a bit alarmed.

One of the things I have strongly opposed for many years is my own death. Matter of fact, I am downright adamant aginst it. (I have deep feelings about your demise as well, but not nearly as convicted as I am about mine.)

I also don’t like the idea of having a heart attack. It sounds quite terrifying, and since that muscle is necessary for breathing, I am not anxious to find out what it feels like to be breathless.

Fortunately for my well-being, I have always been fond of fruits and vegetables–what we call “good food.” I intersperse “bad food” into the mix to keep myself well-rounded. Literally.

But it is not a stretch for me to abandon these nefarious companions in favor of more puritanical friendships with food.

So although I received this diagnosis about my arteries many years ago, I am still here. And I am eating, working, dieting and to some extent, exercising, with the aspiration of remaining upright for some time to come.

In the process, I think I actually may have been able to return those arteries to that unknown gentleman in his seventies.

It makes you wonder: when I’m seventy-five, will they threaten me by saying I have the arteries of a hundred-year-old?

 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

Anti-racism

dictionary with letter AAnti-racism: (n) the policy of opposing racism and promoting racial tolerance.

It is cruel, insane and useless to walk up to a man having a heart attack, lying on a gurney and proffer, “You shouldn’t have eaten so much bacon.”

Warnings have to come at the right time, or they are either petty bitchiness or meaningless babble.

Anti-racism is similar to this. We all grew up in households where preferences were promoted. So it is ridiculous to think that we’re going to ease our way into a world where color doesn’t matter.

We must stop arresting the neighbors who live next door to the Bodega that was vandalized and start looking for the actual perpetrators.

What causes racism?

1. Too much emphasis on culture.

Matter of fact, I’m not comfortable with any emphasis on culture. When I begin to believe that the Chinese, the Africans, the Jews, the Arabs and the Europeans have different ways of looking at life, I am setting myself up to feel arrogant over my rendition.

2. Take away the stigma of loving who you want to love.

Even though we are willing to accept that the chimpanzee or ape is our ancestor, we are not able to procreate with one. Yet there is no human being of any color or ethnic origin who cannot pair off and make a baby. What a piece of hypocrisy.

Many people would be more willing to accept a gorilla as a neighbor than they are an Hispanic.

3. Be clean.

Start off on the basis that all of us were taught a certain amount of prejudice, which can explode into full-fledged bigotry.

The misconception in America is the belief that we have racism under control because we elected a black President.

First of all, President Obama may not be any more black than I am, since he had a white mother.

Secondly, what we choose to do publicly does not determine our soul. It is the truth that lies on our inward parts–our private notions–which carry the heart of our true beliefs.

When we realize that racism is just another piece of our immature nature which needs to be addressed and abandoned, we will actually go forward.

As the great writer once said, “When I was a child, I spake as a child, but now that I’ve become a man, I have put away childish things.”

 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

Antacid

dictionary with letter A

Antacid: (n.) a preventative to correct acidity, usually in the stomach.

All of us human mortals suffer from some form of “wimp factor.”

It’s not easy to admit, especially if you’re preoccupied with the notion of appearing macho or self-reliant.

But honestly, one of the more endearing factors about being a part of this race is that when we get candid with one another about our foolishness and silliness, we can really be quite charming.

I think the first time I was consciously aware of having a bad case of indigestion was in my early twenties. I had never even considered antacid or assistance of any sort for my digestive tract.

Being a silly goose, I assumed that the rumblings in my chest were the onset of a heart attack. Even though it would be unusual for anyone of my age to be plagued by such a tragedy, I convinced myself that I was the exception to the rule, and rather than having ingested a very greasy piece of smoked sausage, I had clogged up an artery which was trying to keep me from breathing.

So every time I felt the little twinge of pain, I frantically took deep breaths to make sure I would maintain consciousness, and in doing so hyperventilated, only increasing my worry, which led to having an anxiety attack–which, by the way, feels similar to the heart variety.

It was so silly–especially when I found myself in an emergency room and they poured out some white liquid in a small cup, and I asked them if it was for my heart. The nurse calmly replied, “No. It’s Di-gel. For your belly ache.”

I only spent half an hour there, and received some giggles from the attending physician, who told me that if I didn’t lose weight, I probably would be in there with a heart attack in thirty years or so, but I was safe for the time being.

I know there are people who have to use antacids all the time, but basically, if you don’t eat too much fatty food while also consuming large amounts of fluid, you can usually avoid gastric distress.

And if you do happen to have a twinge in your belly that radiates up into your chest, don’t immediately assume that you’re dying.

You are one belch away from salvation.

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

Aerobics

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAerobics: (n) vigorous exercises such as swimming or walking, designed to strengthen the heart or lungs.

  • I don’t.
  • I should.
  • I would if I could.
  • I could if I would.
  • I think about it.
  • I agree.
  • I laugh.
  • I’m curious.
  • I tried it.
  • I didn’t like it.
  • I didn’t exactly try it.
  • I kinda liked it.
  • I felt better afterwards.
  • I felt worse in the morning.
  • I think it costs money.
  • I think I’m broke.
  • There’s a program for free.
  • I pretended I didn’t hear that.
  • I’ve watched it on TV.
  • I’ve even made fun of it.
  • I’m convinced I’m the exception.
  • I guess I’m exceptionally convinced.

I am, of course, talking about aerobics.

There’s a process in the human experience in which information is either acknowledged, absorbed as truth and shipped off to the brain for storage in a cabinet, or else expelled from the emotions in a fitful desire for action.

Aerobics is one of those things that I know would be good for me and would improve my chances for longevity. But longevity seems so … well …long–when in the moment, I have the possibility of watching television with a side of chips and dip.

It’s the same way I feel about eternity. It’s really hard to get worked up about everlasting life when you have a two-hour window for watching television.

If they found a way to do aerobics without me knowing it–similar to peddling a bicycle while thinking that I’m relaxing and checking out a movie–that would be terrific. Until then I have to rely on my motivation, which, as I stated earlier, is greatly unfavorable to aerobics.

There are so many things that happen with aerobic exercise that are unpleasant. First of all, getting to your feet with the idea of movement. Secondly, taking things you would normally do slowly, but doing them fast, in order to sweat and raise your heart rate. (Don’t they usually give you medication when your heart races?? But now they want you to simulate one of the major symptoms of a heart attack…)

I guess it’s the mix of laziness, fear, aches, pains and feeling a bit foolish hopping about without the presence of hot coals at my feet.

By the way… did I say I admire it?