Tag Archives: manners

By-gone

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Bygone: (adj) belonging to an earlier time.

Outdated.

It’s a word we use to curse any idea, event or style which is not presently considered in the prowl.

In the process, we not only decide that red is the color of the future and blue the hue of the past, but we also marginalize supernal attributes which should endure for all time, but suddenly find themselves being panned by the critics.

Some things do not belong in a by-gone era, but must be toted to our next location. I shall give you a few words that seem to be nostalgic, but are really the sign-posts of peaceful existence:

Kindness, observation, toleration, good cheer, gentleness, surprise, humility, creativity, curiosity, manners, courtly, caring, teachable, sharing, color-blind, contented.

Idealism? Most definitely.

Yet without them, virtue is gobbled by the arrogant monster of pessimism.

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Aptitude

dictionary with letter A

Aptitude (n): 1. an ability to do something 2. suitability or fitness

For a myriad of reasons, I barely made it through the 1980s with my being intact, primarily because of my complete disdain and obvious aversion to personality tests and aptitude quizzes.

It was all the rage in that era and still persists today in pockets promoting superficial psycho-babble.

The notion of taking responsibility for one’s life or learning a craft seems so arduous to the average person that they would like to believe they were born with certain abilities, rarities and anointings so as to take all of the mystery and work out of their personal journey.

Parents, aunts, uncles and grandma and grandpa all encourage this by noting everything from the timber of our early babble, to the length, height or breadth of body parts, to place a mission upon us before we’ve even learned how to stop messing our pants.

Certainly everyone wants us to fall into a personality type, where we can hide behind the pluses and minuses of that particular idea to explain our behavior.

But even though these testers will insist that you can be docile, quiet, introverted and silent, they sometimes fail to remind you that it is the world around us that requires we step out of our shadow and into the light.

Yes, perhaps intimidated folks can be given a name, but it is the gregarious ones who will be given the position. One would think it’s a plot, to keep part of the population oppressed in order to supply fodder for the more menial tasks, if one was of a nind to believe in conspiracy theories.

What I think is that we are too grounded in a Calvinistic, pre-destined American thinking that wants the whole plan laid out in front of us by the time we’re three years old, to ever instruct the general populace in matters of manners, intensity, perseverance and expansion.

I can tell you of a certainty that I had no aptitude for anything but eating. Yet there isn’t a doctor alive who will let me believe “I was born” with the aptitude to be fat. Isn’t that interesting?

Apparently some characteristics are inserted at birth and others become bad habits.

So what I choose to believe is that I have nothing but an aptitude for laziness and if I pursue that, I will end up poor and alone. Therefore I choose to overcome my aptitude … and study the present pursuit that rings my bell.

 

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Afresh

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Afresh: (adv.) in a new or different way: e.g. she left her job to start afresh.

Nobody walks out of the shower and says, “That should take care of that once and for all.”

Much as we are relieved to have our armpits “afresh” and all our other crevices carefully cleaned, we are fully cognizant that the same fastidious care needs to be done again very soon.

Why? Because we get dirty.

Why is it that we understand this when it comes to bodily hygiene, but we don’t recognize the same truth in regard to the other portions of our lives?

Why do we think that politics, relationships, sexuality, intelligence, religion, talent and manners don’t require the same “showering” and “afreshing?”

Why are some things viewed as traditional and therefore etched in stone, and our bathroom time is seen as a temporary solution to a permanent problem?

There is nothing in my life that I am not constantly trying to start afresh.

  • If I were involved in politics, I would leave for Congress a half hour early, and walk through the Lincoln Memorial every day, to remind myself why in the hell I ran for office in the first place.
  • It doesn’t hurt me at all to pull out wedding pictures and memorabilia of when I was younger, a little crazier, but maybe much more intent on romantic interest with my partner.
  • In the church, if we did more field trips out into the world to help people instead of chewing the fat about our opinions concerning the Bible, might we discover that our faith would be afreshed?

Over and over again, in each situation, coming back to the excitement we experienced in the first place is necessary in order to shower us with the blessings instead of having to complain about the rain.

If we don’t become afresh with newness, we will “age out” everything in our lives, leaving our emotions decrepit instead of well-expressed.

I don’t plan on giving up washing myself.

I also have no intention of ceasing to question my beliefs and actions … to find new and better reasons for pushing forward.

Abracadabra

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Abracadabra: (exclam.) a word said by magicians when performing a magic trick.

You see, it’s right there in the definition. Almost every time you see the word “magic,” it’s followed by “trick.”

It’s amazing that we spend most of our lives looking at our talent, our circumstances and our potentials, hoping to wave a magic wand over them and say “abracadabra.” Then for some reason, we’re disappointed and even angry when the rabbit doesn’t leap out of the hat.

Is there magic? Or is it all just a trick? Is magic the best way to manipulate people into doing what you want them to do–or worse–doing nothing?

I remember it a little differently. Does anybody else remember, “Abracadabra, please and thank you?” I’m thinking maybe I heard it on Captain Kangaroo. I like that.

So when “abracadabra” stalls,  you move on to “please.”

Yes, sometimes it’s a good idea to abandon magic in favor of manners. Truthfully, you can get a lot further being mannerly than you can by waving a wand in the air, demanding your will. I would not decry the validity of some forms of magic, but honestly, I’ve botten much more accomplished in my life by saying “please.”

If you happen to be so talented, gifted, powerful and wealthy that you don’t ever have to ask “please,” you will end up counting your money alone in a room on Christmas Eve, waiting to be spooked by three ghosts.

Magic is interesting, but manners are powerful.

Which leads to the final part of the phrase: thank you.

Yes, as wonderful as manners may be and as much as they may bring good fortune your way, nothing is more magical and supernatural than thank you. “Thank you” is permission for life to give you more, without fear of wasting it. If I were God, I would certainly be more generous to those who knew how to compose a thank-you note.

“Thank you” is the key that unlocks every crusty heart that has given up on humanity and has decided that life is futile. Even when it’s coerced out of a little kid slurping on an ice cream cone that was just given to him by a mother who is trying to teach the value of appreciation, it still is endearing and cute as he lifts up his little head, and through globs of gooey cream, mouths, “Thwank woo.”

It makes you want to give him another cone.

So you can pursue the magic of “abracadabra,” but it’s not nearly as good as the majesty of “please.” And as magnificent as the mannerly “please” may be, there is NOTHING as powerful as “thank you.”

Of course, you can cover all your bases, and say, “Abracadabra, please and thank you.”