Tag Archives: ridiculous

Amiss

dictionary with letter A

Amiss: (adj.) not quite right, inappropriate or out of place

Something is amiss.

1. Calling arguing debate.

2. Believing our egos don’t need any adjustment.

3. Insisting that men and women are natural enemies.

4. A two-party system where nobody’s having a good time.

5. A religious grammar school playground that has nothing to do with spirituality.

6. Entertainment that thinks darkness is reality.

7. Trying to find new ways to intoxicate the already-dull public.

8. Being afraid to say “I’m sorry.”

9. Being likewise frightened of “thank you.”

10. Exalting culture over cooperation.

11. Pursuing the ridiculous while desiring to appear enlightened.

12. Failing to balance tears and laughter and forgetting when to use each.

I could go on. Something’s amiss.

But I’m certain of one truth: the only thing that can be done about it is happening inside me.

 

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Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

Ambush

dictionary with letter A

Ambush: 1. (n) a surprise attack by people lying in wait in a concealed position 2. (v) to make a surprise attack on someone from a concealed position

It all depends from what perspective you view this experience.

If you are the ambusher, you find your tactics to be clever, inventive, cost-saving and ingenious.

If you are the ambushee, you will contend that the same actions are conniving, vicious, unfair and animalistic.

We think that certain behavior is acceptable as long as we come up with it and implement it to our common good. It is what makes us both human and obnoxious.

Candidly, a world without a Golden Rule, which insists that we try on an experience to see how it feels if done unto ourselves before we target it toward another person–well, a world without that kind of consideration is vile, unpredictable and destructive.

How can we ambush other people while thinking that all we’re trying to do is communicate our feelings?

1. If another human being doesn’t have the right to disagree without looking ridiculous, then we’ve robbed them of their God-given blessing of purpose and individuality.

2. If our sharing with another person is done in front of other folks for convenience or back-up, we have removed the generosity that allows our friends to repent if they’ve erred and to learn if they lack information.

3. The instinct to capture folks in their moment of weakness and attack them is never noble, even if we think it’s producing spiritual conclusions.

Here’s the truth: human beings don’t have to be right.

God, Himself, does not go around plotting trials and tribulations for those who are in rebellion to reason. That’s why the Good Book says “it rains on the just and the unjust” and “the sun shines on the good and the bad.”

So if God doesn’t ambush jerks, get your helmet off. There’s no war.

And “ambush” is a term we normally relegate to warfare–when being devious and even ruthless, unfortunately, may be necessary to win the battle and save lives.

But to introduce this concept into everyday interactions with humankind is not only cruel, but in this humble writer’s opinion … damnable.

 

Alopecia

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Alopecia: (n.) a condition in which partial or complete loss of hair occurs from areas of the body where it normally grows; baldness

I think I’ve finally found a word that’s worse than “bald.” I just don’t believe I could bring myself to tell folks that I suffer from “alopecia.”

It’s hair.

I have to admit that having hair is a very positive experience.

Somehow or another I knew even when I was in my early twenties that the hair that was visiting my scalp had no intention of staying over for more than a summer vacation. Yes, by the time I was in my mid-thirties I was fairly depleted of hair, although I made a few vague attempts to cover up my lack.

There was even a spray that you could squirt on your head, and if you matched the color just right, from a distance it appeared as if you still had your pate covered with some sort of hue. But it was messy, ugly, and after a while people became aware that it was available so they would ask you embarrassing questions like, “Is that hair, or have you just been sprayed?” (You realize, there is no dignified answer for that question.)

For a season I wore hats, which made it appear that there might be hair growth underneath, but kept it a secret so as not to age me or make me feel vacant.

I cannot tell you that I wear my baldness with pride. But sometimes, I am grateful. Honestly, you don’t have to wash the top of your head nearly as much as you do your hair. Most of the time, I just don’t notice.

Yet I must be honest–if there were a cure for baldness that didn’t make a ridiculous appearance on the top of your bean that looked like a miniature golf course turf, I might consider doing it.

I’m not sure.

But I have avoided getting a toupee, though on occasion I have threatened to do so.

I realize this article is very scattered–all over the place with different thoughts and emotions.

Think of it as symbolistic of my sentiments on hair loss. 

Alcoholic

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

 

Alcoholic: (n) 1. containing an alcoholic liquor 2. a person suffering from alcoholism.

The most difficult thing in life, in my opinion, is to balance freedom and common sense. Honestly, we do it very poorly.

When we err on the side of freedom, we indiscriminately promote ideas which are detrimental to the human family.

Likewise, when we take the other extreme of common sense, we create burdens and rules which inhibit the liberty necessary for our race to move forward.

How is it possible to allow for freedom and common sense to co-exist in the same room without both of them resorting to fisticuffs?

This is my feeling about alcohol: I have grown weary of the notion that we establish our adult sensibilities by allowing ourselves permission to drink fermented fluids which have proven themselves to be devastating to members of our earthly clan. But by the same token, prohibiting the imbibing of these refreshments is unsuccessful and unrealistic, considering that they have been around for thousands of years, and even Jesus Christ took boring water and made it wine.

I think we need extraordinarily anointed and intelligent leadership, which knows how to promote freedom while establishing common sense. Here are several questions about alcohol I have never heard adequately answered:

  1. Is it truly healthy? Are we better off having some alcohol in our lives, or not?
  2. Are there people who are just cursed to be alcoholics by their genetic configuration, or is it an acquired vice which can happen to anyone at any time, simply based upon the level of consumption?
  3. Is there an adequate alternative to alcohol which would provide stimulus without promoting drunkenness?
  4. Is it possible to be a social drinker without finding yourself in the company of those who exaggerate their need and exacerbate situations by becoming either dangerous on the highway or confrontational?
  5. And finally, how can we promote the consumption of alcohol so that our movies and our society do not present it as a rite of passage, causing younger folks to feel mature by sneaking it?

I am unwilling to concede that freedom and common sense cannot be brothers in the cause of the betterment of humanity.

I personally don’t drink and never have. It’s because the questions I listed have not been answered to my satisfaction, so therefore, rather than pursuing the ridiculous … I select the sublime.

 

Afar

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAfar: (adv.) at or to a distance: e.g. our hero traveled afar

Here is a word that exists just so we can truly appreciate the value of being near. After all, anything we would really want “afar” is not really worthy of being discussed, is it? And if we’re actually going to travel, clarifying it by using a medieval term like “afar” seems a bit pretentious, if not culturally gross.

Yes, it’s another one of those words which, if we actually utter it, when it comes out of our mouth, it sounds like we’re posing for a painting, hopefully being admired by onlookers for our continental use of the King’s speak.

I feel sorry for “afar.”

Maybe it deserves better. Maybe it should be admired for having four letters and balancing two vowels and two consonants. (Yet how often would such an award of appreciation be available?)

I’m afraid “afar” suffers from what most of us do: it is too old and when it tries to insert itself into contemporary situations, looks a trifle ridiculous.

So here’s to the word “afar,” which quite honestly, from this point on … will need to follow its own obvious advice.

 

Ad lib

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Ad lib (v): to speak or perform in public without previously preparing the words: e.g. Charles had to ad lib because he forgot his script.

  • Spontaneous
  • Improvisation
  • Extemporaneous

These are words that pepper our society and the language of those who deem themselves to be so creative, entertaining and intelligent that at the drop of a hat, they can begin to postulate on almost any subject with clarity and beauty, to the awe of the hearer.

Actually, all they do is DROP their hat.

I don’t think there’s anything more ridiculous than believing that things that come off the top of our head has as much value as something thought through and dug out of the depths of our heart.

I understand there are times we ALL ad lib–especially in moments of crisis–but I must tell you that even when we get surprised, to simply leap in to cover nervous energy with more words, explanation or just a series of twitches is no replacement for finding concise expression.

So when I’m surprised, instead of launching into a juggernaut of words or approaching my thoughts as if I were a Rubik’s Cube that has to be wiggled around to a solution, I just like to buy some time.

To me, people who are in a hurry to push me to make a decision are usually determined to establish my foolishness. People who require an immediate answer are more often than not certain that they’ve cornered me in my own defeat.

There are only two things that can happen when you ad lib–three, I guess, if you think you can pull it off. But the main two are that you talk too much or you hem-haw around with a bunch of “ums” and “ahs” which only makes the listener believe that you don’t know what you’re talking about.

I have friends who say that politicians need to pause and reflect before they answer questions, but I think it comes across like they’re searching through their publicity material for something safe to say without going off party lines.

I used to think that going on stage and doing a bunch of improv or ad libs made my show funnier or more organic. Actually, it just made me sound like I was rambling, with the audience trying to keep up with what the subject was in the first place.

As often as possible, put your thoughts together. Even write them down–so people know you put some care into it. And if you find that your notes don’t cover the breadth of the subject, or another one comes before you, take a general pause before audaciously choosing to believe that your magic tongue can weave a spell.

I am not a fan of ad lib and improv. I think it is often done by talented people who have forgotten that they got to where they are by using well-constructed words instead of believing they are “miracle orators.”

And don’t forget–there is always that possibility, if you want to be a really decent human being and escape all politics–of just turning to your audience and saying: “I don’t know.”

Acclimate

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Acclimate: (n) to become accustomed to a new climate or new conditions.

When I started traveling across the country to see first-hand what CNN and Fox News only partially cover, I would arrive in a new area and finding myself stopping up in my nostrils or developing a sore throat. People explained to me that what was happening was that my body was “acclimatizing” to the climate because there was some sort of pollen, dust or air mite which I was not accustomed to, aggravating my sinus cavities.

It really sounded pussy.

Even though I am glad there is a word called “acclimate” and I sure the process does go on, still–proclaiming that we need to acclimate to anything is like announcing that “we plan on pursuing breathing today.”

I think when I finally got fed up with the notion that my nostrils were wussies and passed on the knowledge to my brain that they needed to buck up and stop being so snotty, I ceased needing to have a box of Kleenex next to me just because I landed in Albuquerque.

Yet I would have to admit that for most human beings, if you removed all dialogue, discussion and interchange about their “acclimatizing to circumstances,” most of them would appear to be deaf-mutes. It seems to be one of the more interesting topics in the human family. As we sit around and discuss things that are well beyond our control, in the purview of the natural order and usually irreversible, inserting our feelings about their existence is downright ridiculous.

For instance, I do not comprehend what a discussion about the weather achieves on any level. I am neither intrigued, frightened nor impressed with “Storm Watchers” who appear on my TV screen in some frantic mode, foretelling that rain is coming, and with that could be hail, lightning and maybe even “tornadic activity.”

Nature has been doing this for a long time, and therefore is quite professional. WE are the amateurs, and the sooner we become aware of the inevitability of rain falling on the just and the unjust, the quicker we will restore our peace of mind.

So even though I know a certain amount of acclimatizing is necessary, I would rather not discuss it.

I think the only ongoing joke in heaven is the angels and God giggling uncontrollably over human beings thinking their opinions really matter.