Monthly Archives: March 2015

Ashore

Ashore: (adv) on land as opposed to at sea.dictionary with letter A

There is an oblivious arrogance involved in expounding upon ideas of which you have little experience.

Yet if you wait for those who are acclaimed for their journey in a certain area to offer insight, their often mum profiles can leave one ignorant.

So it is our lot as human beings to get most of our data and insight from the offerings of the less-than-professional.

Like me, talking about boats.

  • I’ve never been in the Navy.
  • I haven’t captained a vessel at sea.
  • I have been fishing on a lake in a small craft that floated and had a tiny motor to propel us along.

My purpose for this journey was to fish, not to be a seaman or a conquistador.

Yet today, I will flaunt my knowledge in front of you, drawing parallels to life, stretching my resume of comprehension to the point of breakage.

Why? Because I can–and those who have salt in their veins choose to remain silent.

My memory of being on water in a boat for even a short period of time is how quickly I forgot what it was like to be a “land-lubber.”

What I mean is that I saw terra firma in the distance, but now, I was a creature of the water, and land seemed foreign to me. Matter of fact, as the boat came to shore and it was time for me to disembark and come ashore, there was a sadness in my soul.

How different from just a few hours earlier, when I tentatively and awkwardly put one foot into the boat, nearly tipping the entire floating mechanism over.

Now I had become John Paul Jones, the master of all H2O.

It just makes me realize how quickly we can assimilate into situations if we will deliver ourselves of the demon of bitchiness and just absorb the beauty of our surroundings.

So having completed this brief essay (and admitting that I’ve said very little) I will now close, leave my ocean of thoughts … and come back ashore.

 

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Ashen

Ashen: (adj) (of a person’s face) very pale with shock, fear, or illness.dictionary with letter A

Whatever we plant grows.

I know there may be weeds. Sometimes the seeds don’t sprout quickly. But the truth of the matter is, what is sown eventually does reap.

I’ve been thinking about this.

I have casually made jokes, or even been careless in my speech with my fellow-humans under the guise of being honest or just joking around, never coming to the full comprehension that the little seed I plant is very easily watered and can grow.

A lady came up to me just three months ago and told me that I looked “ashen.” Of course, she couldn’t stop there. She said I should probably go to the doctor to have my liver checked. Actually, all I needed was a good night’s sleep, but the seed was planted.

It was so deeply engrained in my mental earth that when I saw the word “ashen” today, the incident came to my mind. She probably thought she was doing me well by warning me of my pale complexion, but actually she just stirred an insecurity in me which sprouted some overgrowth.

All of us are occasionally going to be foolish in our wording, but when we realize that we’ve planted something inside another person, we should probably take the time to let them know it needs to be extracted.

I just don’t know what good it does for someone to know that they’re ashen–because to run off to a doctor every time one’s pallor goes meek would leave one little time for anything else.

 

 

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Ashamed

Ashamed: (adj) embarrassed or guilty because of one’s actions, characteristics, or associations.dictionary with letter A

There are two “rest areas” that people often stop off in on their way to completing the journey to repentance.

Repentance is easy–maybe not to accomplish, but certainly to understand.

  1. I see what I did wrong.
  2. I see what I need to do.
  3. I see how to start.

It is the essence of what makes human beings believe in and strive towards the divine instead of settling for the devilish.

Now, back to those two stop-offs:

One of the stop-offs is called arrogance, and once people stall there, they tend to stay. Arrogance is:

  1. I see what I did
  2. It’s not that bad–I’ve seen worse
  3. No one’s going to force me to change.

But equally as debilitating and ignorant is the stop-off of being ashamed, because rather than being a stepping-stone to solution, it is an egregious ceasing of progress–and ends up being poorly disguised self-pity.

It has three parts as well:

  1. I see what I did wrong.
  2. I don’t see how it can be forgiven.
  3. So I am going to choose not to do very much.

I am convinced that once people become arrogant, they unwittingly also become a repellent to other human beings.

And I am equally as convinced that people who choose to be ashamed end up being the victims of nasty fellows.

Without making the full journey to repentance, we end up stuck in one of these rest areas … which usually end up smelling pretty crappy.

 

 

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Ash

Ash: (n) the powdery residue left after the burning of a substance.dictionary with letter A

I thought it was going to be an urn, but I guess I was on the budget plan.

When my young son passed away, we decided on cremation. There were two reasons–at that particular time we were traveling around and didn’t exactly have a “home cemetery.” And secondly, it was cheaper.

What they handed me was a black plastic box.

I carried it around for several weeks, a little bit spooked by the fact that my son’s entire life and memories were confined within this container.

Then one day, in a private moment, I opened it up. There was a plastic bag which was sealed, filled with gray dust.

I must have stared at it for a solid hour.

It was more than surreal. It was nearly mentally debilitating.

I had a picture of my son in my right hand, and in my left hand was a bag of his ashes.

I didn’t cry.

Rather, I felt great bewilderment, revelation and hopelessness, all at the same time. How could such a beautiful spirit, smile, giggle and mischief be burned down to a bag of what appeared to be the dumpings from a vacuum cleaner?

“Ashes to ashes…”

Is this really how we begin? Are we made from the dust of Earth?

And how do we reconcile that in our pursuit of creativity and invention?

After about an hour of staring at that bag of gray residue, I stuffed it back into the black container and have never looked at it again.

We are more than ashes and less than gods.

Wherever that revelation may take us is what we must truly discern … to be righteous.

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Asexual

Asexual: (adj) without sexual feelings or associationsdictionary with letter A

Tommy was a dynamo.

He was one of my friends from high school, who was constantly interested in making out with girls, and was willing to go almost anywhere to do so.

Compared to the other guys in my class, he was a firecracker, and to some degree or another, the rest of us–fizzles.

He had boundless energy for any romantic activity with women.

I, on the other hand, was poised among the emotions of terror, intrigue, lust and intimidation. If you’re wondering what you get when you stir those together, the best term would be “stalled.”

Matter of fact, I wondered if I would ever actually have physical contact with a woman. What made it worse was that I frequently drove along in the car with Tommy, to have him pull over at some park where there would be a young lady waiting for him. He told me that he was going to fe back in a few minutes. They would spread a blanket not even forty yards away and I sat there for fifty minutes watching them make out.

There’s nothing sexy about that at all.

Truth of the matter is that human sexuality is not nearly so simple as “gay” or “straight.”

Some people seem to have huge libidos, which they use at will.

Other people are anxious to get married so they can carry on a once-a-year sexual calendar.

I suppose those who are hungry for love think the other people are asexual–but actually, we all, in our own way, have an interest in sexuality, and it varies so much that it certainly should not be a matter of debate or scrutiny.

As it turns out, I wasn’t asexual at all–just lacking in opportunity.

Tommy also settled down and married the least likely woman you would have thought such a Don Juan would pluck.

Sex is weird stuff.

Not so weird that we want to avoid it–just weird enough that we need the mercy of understanding from ourselves and others.

 

 

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Aseptic

Aseptic: (adj) free of germs that cause diseasedictionary with letter A

One of the more miserable times in life is when you discover that you’re contagious (and I’m not talking about having a sparkling personality.)

It could be a runny nose, a stomach virus, a cold sore or any one of a number of little irritations that come onto the human pathway and make us temporarily unacceptable for communion with our brothers and sisters.

Only once in my life was I dubbed “septic.” I had picked up a couple of bacteria microbes which had spread through my bloodstream, and then, upon being hospitalized, the environment of the healing institution afforded me a couple more.

Yes, I went to the hospital to multiply my contagion.

It was very annoying.

The nurses who took care of me had to take the precaution of wearing masks and rubber gloves all the time, and I felt like Typhoid Johnny. They checked my blood daily to see if I was decreasing in toxicity, and if it would be possible for me to once again someday walk among the living.

And what made it worse was that I did not feel bad–I was basically without symptoms, but still viral. And I do not mean like a video.

I cannot tell you how overjoyed I was when the last blood test declared me aseptic. There were still nurses who didn’t believe the test, and appeared donning their garb, obviously trying out costumes for Halloween.

But I had the confidence that I was no longer a threat to others.

Now I am not going to go philosophical here and discuss how septic attitudes–disgusting prejudices–can be passed along to other people. Far be it for me to turn every conversation into some sort of human parable.

But let me say that having been septic … I can recommend aseptic.

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Ascribe

Ascribe: (v) to attribute something to a causedictionary with letter A

Now that we know that “ascribe” is not the traveling companion of a Pharisee, may we take a look at what possibly could or should be ascribed to our lives and virtues?

  • My hope defines my flexibility.
  • My faith advertises my endurance.
  • My love is a beacon to my passion.

At least, this is what I believe.

I do meet people who have a great impetus to love, but they have not followed through on their faith and hope, so their affection is often temporary.

Some individuals ascribe to faith a religion about religious matters which offers no hope or love to the world around them.

To see the value of the human journey and the purpose for spirituality, you must ascribe faith, hope and love to what you do in the proportion which causes this trio to not only fellowship with one another, but become dependent on each other’s involvement.

I must have hope for mankind–otherwise my faith will be solely in God, when He insists that I include others. And in the process of including others, it’s a tremendous idea to find a way to love them instead of treating them like pets or pests.

What do I ascribe to my personal success, such as it is?

My hope needs my faith and my faith generates my love.

I would be frightened to disassemble them, because in doing so the whole system would fall apart and tumble to the ground … like a house of cards.

 

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Ascorbic Acid

Ascorbic acid: (n) a vitamin found particularly in citrus fruits and green vegetables. It is essential in maintaining healthy connective tissue, and is also thought todictionary with letter A act as an antioxidant. Severe deficiency causes scurvy.

Since revelation usually comes in trickles, it is very difficult to be showered in knowledge.

Such was my situation many years ago when I was traveling and singing in a musical group, and because we were young, we were susceptible to every cold virus that happened to come into town, gunning for victims. As you probably know, it is difficult to sing without your voice, and the common cold does quite often hold your entire throat hostage until further notice.

The conventional wisdom of the day was to take large doses of Vitamin C to counteract the cold or even build an immunity against being attacked by the “snootiness” in the first place.

Since I was not particularly fond of swallowing the large amounts of pills necessary to create the dosage considered therapeutic, I opted for orange juice. Being a dumb kid, I failed to realize that even though the juice of the orange does contain large amounts of Vitamin C, it is possessed by even greater amounts of sugar–and the higher your blood sugar, the more susceptible you are to viruses.

So I thought I was pouring liquid gold down my throat to give myself a suit of armor against the dragon of coughing and stuffiness, but I actually ended up throwing gasoline on the fire.

I could never figure out why the more OJ I drank, the more quickly I became sick.

I’m sure this was also true with the pills, because the amount of Vitamin C it takes to address the burden is nearly beyond comprehension. Also you have to consider that Vitamin C is very quickly absorbed by the body–therefore, every tine you pee in the pot, you have to start over again.

So like many home remedies and doctor-approved solutions, if you wait around six months, the suggestion will be revised without apology … and usually with the absence of any culpability about offering the advice in the first place.

 

 

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Ascetic

Ascetic: (adj) characterized by the practice of severe self-discipline and abstention from all forms of indulgence, typically for religious reasons.dictionary with letter A

“What are you giving up for Lent?” the gentleman asked me.

Without hesitation I replied, “Lent.”

Forgive me. I don’t get it.

If we believe the story–I mean the one about God–His entire idea for human beings was to make a beautiful garden filled with excellent work, delicious food and sexual intercourse readily available (because everybody was naked).

Am I correct here? Maybe you don’t like my phrasing, but you can’t deny my facts.

So why would He all of a sudden turn into this prude who is angry with human beings for being human? So angry, it would seem, that He is constantly requesting that we do religious activities that are often anti-human.

  • For of a truth, I don’t think any Muslim would actually kneel on a rug to pray many times a day if his personal preferences were brought to the forefront.
  • Nor do I think any Jew would really like to abstain from bacon.
  • And Christians seem to have an inclination that unless they continually consider the suffering and death of Jesus Christ, they have missed the whole point of salvation.

I look at it the same way I did parenting. If I needed my kids to take out the garbage, I could either beat them into submission, or find a way to make it rewarding and fun. If I was going to be a crummy dad, I could insist they learn to appreciate the importance of garbage removal, but honestly, I realized that was never going to happen. So I chose to stimulate their intrigue with the chore by either making it a game or by offering some allowance.

I did this because my children are Homo sapiens and mortal–not little angels or gods.

If it is necessary to give up something to get to heaven, and I have no evidence of what heaven is really like or whether it actually exists, I more than likely will opt for the choice that is visible in front of me.

Human beings need to be entertained when they’re inspired, and preferably inspired when they’re entertained.

So that is why I have decided to give up Lent.

Because any God who is impressed by me sacrificing my Milky Way candy bars for forty days is probably going to find something else I do that pisses Him off.

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Ascertain

Ascertain: (v) to find something out for sure; to make certaindictionary with letter A

It’s about a fifty-fifty split–and I certainly hope I am not being generous with myself.

About half the time, I come to a solution for a difficult situation and am proud of how I handled the circumstances.

The other fifty percent of the time, I am reminded of mistakes I made, quick decisions and opportunity lost.

Obviously, my happiness is based on whether I celebrate my score, or commiserate with myself over my misdeeds.

But I will tell you–my grade card has improved over the years. When I was younger, I became angry with life because it was unwilling to understand my plan and make adequate adjustments. It took me many years to comprehend that life refuses to evolve in my direction, but instead, suggests that I do all the mutation of my plans.

I had to ascertain exactly what makes Planet Earth spin on its axis in the right direction. I will pass along my simple discoveries (which I’m sure you have already attained, so be patient with me.)

1. Very rarely does the predictable work.

Sometimes it seems that Mother Nature is quickly bored with solutions and retires them after one use.

Flexibility, ingenuity and patience are the trio that normally possess the next great idea.

2. A bad attitude is the common way to lose all your altitude.

You’re never going to fly as long as you’re held to the ground by the burden of grouchiness. Life just doesn’t care that you’re upset, so get over it, imitate joy and try to promote a consciousness of good cheer.

3. Listen.

Obviously, you are not the first person who has been through this trial. Find those who have gone before you and most importantly, learn their mistakes. Honestly, there isn’t always an obvious answer made available through listening, but you can certainly eliminate a lot of crap.

If you want to ascertain what will solve your next dilemma, I can recommend these three steps. I will not tell you that people with horrible personalities don’t occasionally stumble into blessing, but I can tell you … blessing avoids them like the plague.

 

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