Author Archives: Jonathan Richard Cring

Antietam

dictionary with letter AAntietam: historic site in northwestern Maryland, known as Antietam Creek, the scene of a major Civil War battle in September of 1862.

It was a lost cause.

Unless you’re a careful student of history, you may fail to realize that Abraham Lincoln was probably the most hated man in America.

Not only had he been elected President, causing the South to secede from the Union, but he had also made a decision to surround himself, in his cabinet, with competitors and critics.

When the war began, it was a fiasco. At the First Battle of Bull Run, the South nearly ended the entire conflict with one day’s murder and mayhem. But Lincoln continued, searching for a means to keep the country together, and possibly in the process, heal some old wounds and atone for the sins of slavery.

The problem was, the North couldn’t win a battle. Not even close.

So rather than being considered a great leader or a man of vision, he was viewed by his contemporaries as a clumsy goofball, ill-prepared for the challenge of repairing the breach.

He kept replacing generals in charge of the Army of the Potomac, hoping that someone might grow a backbone or at least field an army.

Lincoln had two goals:

Primary was to keep the Union together, for a reason which he almost singularly held within his breast. Everyone else had varying degrees of indifference on the issue.

But secondly, he realized that emancipating the slaves was not only an important step of contrition, but also would keep England and France out of the war,siding with the Confederacy. But it was certainly difficult to issue any kind of Proclamation in the midst of defeat.

The Battle of Antietam was a standoff, with more soldiers killed on the field than in any war in history, and Lincoln seized on that result, deeming it a moral victory, and set in motion to free the slaves.

Even though the Union became more proficient at war and eventually wore down their Southern brothers, it was the Battle of Antietam that gave Lincoln the doorway to make the Civil War about something other than states’ rights. In doing so, he robbed the countrymen clad in gray of the possibility of gaining international acceptance, therefore stifling their resources to those found within their own borders.

It was enough.

It’s why we still honor Abraham Lincoln today instead of shaking our heads in sadness over another failed Presidency.

Antietam was a bloodbath which ended with no conclusion–except permission for a President to change the rules and certainly, change the world. 

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Anti-establishment

dictionary with letter A

 

Anti-establishment (adj): against the establishment or established authority.

There is no good idea that wasn’t once anti-establishment.

Why?

Because it’s just too easy to establish something.

All you have to do is get enough people to agree with you, fund it, develop a slogan, and set up a network of cantankerous and often contradictory committees.

We have to realize that the United States is not an established idea. Actually, it’s a rather rag-tag collection of opinions which are still being ironed out because there are so many wrinkles from the initial roll-out.

We are a mess–and damn proud of it, by the way.

So it becomes quite comical to me when anyone suggests that anything in this country is anti-establishment. For after all, everything in this country is actually anti-establishment, struggling to get the nod of the 51%.

Democracy is such a dog show it’s no wonder we occasionally end up with a dog.

So before we become self-righteous about some cause, or believe that the entire heavens have inhabited our earthly philosophy to be distributed to the masses, let us realize that our country has fought every nationality that has ever tried to emigrate here, has imprisoned and enslaved several colors, and continues to fearfully try to protect principles which have already screamed for some touch-up and repair.

Therefore, how can you be on the safe end of all the ruckus going on as we jockey for position and stump for votes?

Always remember three things. It will help you to determine where to stand:

  1. God gave people free will and He won’t let you take it away.
  2. Anything that helps people find themselves at least opens the door to them becoming better.
  3. No one is better than anyone else. In other words, we’re all more alike than different.

Yes, if you add your fourth part to that trio that sings the song of freedom, forming your own quartet, you will find that most of the time you won’t need to sing off-key.

 

 

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Antidote

dictionary with letter AAntidote: (n) a medicine taken or given to counteract a specific poison.

Sometimes I do dorky things just to make sure that people don’t believe I have become divine overnight through a particularly good sleep cycle.

Actually, it is my penchant in life to attempt new things, which always opens the door to the possibility of playing the fool.

I went with my wife and children to Guaymas, Sonora, Mexico, where my mother-in-law had retired.

She did not like me.

I don’t know whether it was something actually problematic between us, or if she felt the need to act out the typical plotline for a sitcom between son-in-law and mother-in-law.

She had a house on the beach. So one morning I took the children out to enjoy the ocean, only to discover that the entire landscape was covered with dead jellyfish. Unwilling to be deterred from our sea-time pleasure, and since the jellyfish were up on the shore and not in the water, I let the kids splash around while I sat, carefully watching them,

Meanwhile, more dead and dying jellyfish were washing onto the shore. I didn’t think much about it, until one of them brushed up against me, and with his last aspiration, stung me on the leg.

It didn’t hurt. Kind of a magnified bee sting. But in no time at all, the wound began to swell and I was sick.

It was a strange sense of ill will. I knew I was in trouble.

I made my way up to the house with the kids and told my wife and mother-in-law what had happened. Being a great veteran of the region and the sea, my mother-in-law grabbed some Adolph’s meat tenderizer and spread it on my wound, telling me “that always works.”

It didn’t. I was getting sicker and sicker. My mother-in-law told my wife that I was just being a wimp.

So I finally had to bypass old mom and asked my wife to call the local doctor. He arrived about fifteen minutes later with his satchel, saw the sting and reached in and pulled out one vial of what had to be several hundred of antidote.

He explained that some people are just allergic to jellyfish. By this time I was quite frightened. He calmed me down, gave me an injection, and in a matter of about an hour, I was just fine.

It amazed me that something so small could make you that sick, and that something even smaller could make you better.

I was grateful for the antidote.

But unfortunately, my mother-in-law still thought I was a wimp.

 

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Antidepressant

dictionary with letter A

 

Antidepressant: (adj) a drug used to alleviate depression.

I always become aggravated when I’m told that certain subjects can not be discussed because none of us totally understand the height, depth or breadth of the situation.

Since my birth, I have been a novice, and remain so to this day.

I have never been an expert on anything, nor would I claim to be one, even if I possessed the benefit of a diploma.

Yet to remove discussion from the table is to close the door on the accidental discoveries which have blessed human progress. Yes, most of the things that we have come up with over the years were derived from the aftermath of “spitball sessions.”

So when it comes to the issue of depression, to complicate the matter by refusing to seek the simplest solution first seems absolutely irresponsible.

Candidly, I have been depressed in my life.

  • It was not due to a chemical imbalance.
  • It was not caused by my upbringing suppressing my true natural ego.
  • It was because I handled disappointment poorly and was not given the exhortation to press on to the next opportunity, which could bolster my confidence.

There is no quick cure-all.

I am certainly not saying that there aren’t physiological reasons for psychological struggles. But simply because someone who is naturally depressed tends to feel better if they’re doped up does not mean that other avenues should not be attempted first.

When it comes to solving any problem, here’s what I think:

1. Is there a simple solution right in front of us that we cannot see right now because we are blinded by our fear or inadequacy?

2. Is there a possibility that through study, conversation and even a certain degree of faith, we could uncover a better path without instituting drastic measures?

3. Having exhausted the practical, can we cautiously and nearly reverently pursue a treatment of a more intrusive nature?

America is too intoxicated by chemicals and constantly trying to introduce new ones, old ones and ones yet to be approved.

Sometimes it really is as simple as having someone else to give a damn … and talk with you.

 

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Anti-climax

dictionary with letter A

 

Anti-climax: (n) a disappointing end to an impressive, exciting series of events

I have giggled my way through many a drama class and theatrical discussion as people have tossed the word “climax” in the mix, forgetting that it is a double entendre. If it weren’t for the word “orgasm,” I would not be able to pursue creative adventures without constantly chortling like a schoolboy.

That said, I will tell you that the actual definition of anti-climax gives you the source of the despondency and lack of faith that has begun to creep into our social structure.

I have never thought agnosticism to be a vice, but rather, an obvious pouting which occurs from disappointed dreamers. Let’s just look at the things in our society which are anti-climactic:

1. Our election of public officials.

We spend so much money electing officials and then basically end up with what we started with–except those elected become arrogant because they won.

2. Sports.

I don’t want to be the old guy walking around hiking up my pants, talking about “how good it used to be.” But we certainly have lost the ability to field teams which have consistency, humility and the capacity to evolve instead of merely seeking out a new sneaker deal.

3. Church.

It has now become like some great-aunt who is constantly complaining because “you don’t call or write.”

Rather than offering a dynamic platform for lifestyle and vision, it heaps tons of guilt onto people who are ill-prepared to deal with their inadequacies.

4. Sex.

Speaking of climax, we seem to have gone back to an era of sexual embarrassment, wherein we promote the struggle between men and women instead of the pleasure that can be derived by enjoying each other’s company.

5. Music.

Songs are being recorded and performed, with staging and production becoming much more important than message and heart. I have nothing against adding dancers to a song, but when I find myself discussing the choreography instead of the musicology, I think we may have gone a little too far.

Honestly I could go on all day and by the end of that time you would hate me for being such a nudge.

I think the key to avoiding anti-climax is what every young man eventually learns if he’s going to function in the world of romance:

Don’t make too many promises, show up eager, learn from the experience, and get better.

 

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Anticipate

dictionary with letter A

 

Anticipate: (v) to regard as probable; to expect, predict

 

The key to life is to possess a treasure of optimism, which is pilfered sufficiently by your pessimism, to welcome realism.

In other words, if you lead with pessimism and pilfer with optimism, you never actually become realistic, but instead, cynical.

If you try to lead with realism, you usually end up favoring either optimism or pessimism, tainting your original adventure.

This makes the word “anticipation” nearly obsolete in the lifestyle of those who want to move forward with a sense of achievement and good cheer.

Because quite honestly, if I anticipate that my family and friends will continue to love me with the intensity I desire, I am always disappointed with the natural human drop-off.

If I anticipate that my next business foray is going to be a bonanza, I will be only adequately impressed if it reaches my wishes and greatly despaired if it doesn’t.

Anticipation, unfortunately, is what people believe faith is meant to be.

The thought is that rallying behind the concept that having hope that a certain conclusion must be achieved is the best way to trick oneself into excitement and intimidate the universe into compliance.

But faith is actually an optimism which is adequately interrupted by pessimism, thus creating reality. For after all, faith is the substance of things hoped for (optimism), the evidence of things not seen (pessimism).

I get very nervous when I get around people who anticipate that the project we are pursuing is going to be a roaring success.

The wise steward of all good things is always joyfully stacking up boxes … while simultaneously perusing the room for additional containers.

 

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Anti-Christ

dictionary with letter A

 

Anti-Christ: a great personal opponent of Christ who will spread evil throughout the world before being conquered by the second coming of Christ

Ignoring children

Mistreating women

Self-righteousness

Lack of care for the poor

Stained-glass windows

Somber religious services

Lip praise

Making things difficult

Cheating

Greed

Selfishness

Ignorance

Moral superiority

Culture clash

Lack of humor

Worry

Politics

Religion

Straining at gnats

Swallowing camels

Stealing from widows

Public prayer

Chosen people

Seed of Abraham

Lack of forgiveness

Judging

Ritual

Conservative

Liberal

Irrational

Unscientific

Ignoring nature

Sexual dominance

An angry God

Behold: the true Anti-Christ

 

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Anti-choice

dictionary with letter A

 

Anti-choice: (adj) opposed to a woman’s right to choose a medically induced abortion.

Like most amazing opportunities in life, America presents a bewildering blending of responsibility and blessing.

If you stop pursuing the responsibility, the blessing fades away. If you focus on the blessing and ignore the responsibility, a sense of inequality promotes strife.

Even though many people believe that government should be free of spirituality, and others contend that trying to rule people without morals and standards is a fool’s errand, the truth is that every time we ignore the emotional nature of humankind and put forth the idea that we can “think” our way out of a problem, we end up with a quagmire of meaningless arguments.

So when I encounter my more conservative friends who are angry about the choices that other people make, insisting that many of these options are evil, I am reminded of the brilliant words: “Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s and unto God the things that are God’s.”

In other words, freedom for all must stay intact–even if it infringes on the spiritual or moral inclination of the majority.

For after all, there is no such thing as a “Moral Majority”–there is only the liberty which must be afforded to all.

So even though I may not agree with many of the things happening in my society, I would fight for the right for people to have free will. In the plan of God, free will has supremacy over love.

So even though love is most appealing, if human beings choose not to pursue it, they are not struck dead in their tracks or swallowed by the Ark of the Covenant.

So how does America work?

Having granted people the freedom of their own choice, we can now have the freedom to discuss better choices.

There you go.

It does not mean the reasoning should be ignored–it just means that the freedom cannot be held hostage while we grapple with the issue. Many things need to be weighed in the balances.

But the beauty of the United States is that we do grant liberty and justice for all. Did you notice that liberty comes first? It must be that way.

Justice takes a little bit longer.

Justice takes patience.

And quite bluntly, justice will involve an abundance of trial and error.

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Antic

dictionary with letter A

 

Antic: (adj) grotesque or bizarre

What happens when you use two words to define one word and the two words you apply–which were meant to be synonyms–have absolutely nothing to do with each other?

Because bluntly, I would have to admit that there were times in my life when people would characterize my actions as bizarre, but I would never believe them to be grotesque.

To me, grotesque means “ugly” and bizarre means “unusual.”

Unless we’re trapped in some 21st Century contention that if you happen to be a bit less than beautiful, you’re unusual enough to be considered grotesque. Is that the message?

And an antic is not an appearance, it’s an action–and I, for one, can think of at least four antics off the top of my head which were considered bizarre, if not grotesque in their time, but have proven historically to be life-saving:

1. John Brown attacking the arsenal at Harper’s Ferry in an attempt to free the slaves.

If any of us had met John Brown we would have called him grotesque and certainly bizarre, with his zealous appeal against slavery and his antic of attempting the take-over of a government installation with a bunch of church friends.

It wasn’t exactly well-planned, yet the Union soldiers went into battle singing about his antic to inspire them to destroy an antiquated and evil institution of owning human beings.

2. Jesus of Nazareth calling himself the Son of God–or if you want to be really picky, not raising any objection when others did so.

How much guts would it take to have faith in someone you were sitting next to, who had just farted, as he contended that he was possessed of divine inspiration? I don’t know if I could have pulled that off.

Yes, believing in the resurrected Christ is certainly easier than following the unkempt Galilean.

3. Winston Churchill.

When Adolf Hitler had taken over most of Europe and had set his sights on the British Isles, Churchill and a few of his cronies decided to make a last-ditch stand against the tyranny of Berlin. It wasn’t popular and certainly the bombing of Londontown was grotesque and bizarre.

But the action halted the progress of the Third Reich, allowing time for the United States to rally and help chase the bully back into the bunker.

4. And finally, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr,. who by the way was raised in an era when Jim Crow was not only tolerated, but was considered to be evidence for how the Old South was resolving the colored/white issue.

What a bizarre notion, to think that people of all colors should be able to ride on a bus together, when in your entire life you had been taught by your elders that separation was inevitable, if not righteous. And how grotesque it was to see little girls blown up in churches because your antics were being objected to by the white plurality.

I think the definition offered by Mr. Webster portrays that antics are displeasing and therefore perhaps should be shoveled away.

Yet without antics, we don’t have any of the practical nuts and bolts that somehow or another, miraculously hold this contraption together. 

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Antibody

dictionary with letter AAntibody (n): a blood protein produced in response to and counteracting a specific antigen.

I know I encounter futility when I come across someone who tells me that life is complicated.

Actually, life is amazingly simple–as long as you’re willing to accept how it has progressed instead of creating your own “revolution against the evolution.”

This becomes evident to me when I realize that in order to build up resistance to disease, you actually have to encounter the vermin and have your body react with the positive energy to reject the infection, and make sure the varmint doesn’t return again.

Why wouldn’t the parallel be just as true in our emotional, spiritual and mental lives?

Emotionally, if I don’t encounter all sorts of personalities and even struggles, do I not become a hermit–or worse, a bigot?

Spiritually, if I don’t understand how my faith stacks up against other ideas, realizing where there are similarities and also aware of the differences, how will I ever have the endurance to achieve the end and be saved?

And mentally, if the ideas shared by my upbringing are not challenged and questioned, so that I can derive the best of the precepts for future use, will I not become a mere provincial buffoon?

I love antibodies.

It’s physical evidence that we have been through the battle and we have won.

Stop complicating life and realize that it comes down to simply being willing to place yourself in the mix and trust that your ideas, your spirituality, your feelings and even your immune system … are strong enough to survive the competition.  

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