Category Archives: A words

Avoid

Avoid: (v) to keep away from or stop oneself from doing.

 One thing we all definitely share in common: the first word we heard that stuck in our early childhood memory was more than likely “don’t.”dictionary with letter A

Our parents were certainly more concerned about the things we should avoid than the things we could enjoy.

The acceptable objects they passed our way either looked like peas or had the appeal of a bowl of them.

The things they told us to avoid sparkled, plugged in, looked like candy or just screamed potential glee.

In that way we were immediately instructed from our diapers that good things are important but boring, and bad things are dangerous but deliriously enjoyable.

Most unfortunate.

I still have a list of things in my life I avoid–but my way of determining what to avoid is no longer based on being electrocuted or poisoned.

Here’s my test for what to avoid:

I avoid all things or objects which instruct me to avoid. What do I mean by that?

  • I avoid bigoted people because they want me to avoid people they are bigoted against.
  • I avoid drugs because they want me to avoid precious independence of choice and decisions that I treasure.
  • I decided a long time ago that I don’t need a glass of alcohol to be sociable.
  • I don’t need to take LSD to find God.
  • And I don’t need to hate people of color so I can appreciate my bleached-out complexion.

It may have seemed like a good idea to pass a law of Prohibition against alcoholic beverages, but every time we try to avoid, we end up spending a lot of time with avoiders.

And they are the ones who are disgruntled about being cheated out of fun and determined to spoil the joy in the lives of everyone around them.

 

 

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Avocado

Avocado: (n) a fruit with tough leathery skin and a large stone

For years the avocado has taken great grief for being ugly on the outside and then having a pit or stone that is much too large for its contents.dictionary with letter A

I really sympathize.

Even though my skin does not resemble an alligator, I am not horribly attractive on the exterior, and being rather obese, I occasionally will take some teasing, or worse, inconsiderate advice from the meandering masses.

I think the avocado would probably agree with me when I say that the problem is not with the oversized pit, but rather, the undersized fruit.

In my case, I have it figured this way: I am not really fat–it’s just that I was intended to be 8 feet tall. Consider it a mistake of creation or a mutation of evolution–whichever your preference tends to be.

Also the avocado suffers from the malady of occasionally being tasteless. You will find one that is sweet and absolutely delectable, but often it is as flat as bargain-brand mayonnaise.

So the only claim to fame for the avocado, as far as I know. is that it is one of those “perfect” foods.

In other words, if you found yourself trapped on a desert island and all that grew there were avocados and bananas, you could live a full, long and healthy life. You’d probably want to kill yourself on Day Nine for want of the bacon and chicken breast to go with your avocado sandwich, but medically you would be sound.

The thing I do like about an avocado is that it draws out one of the better human attributes: looking for something good to say. 

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Avid

Avid: (adj) having or showing a keen interest in or enthusiasm for something.

Confusing times increase the sales of antacids. (Forgive me–I was looking for an up-side.)dictionary with letter A

So after you run out and invest in Tums, International, please consider this: it will be necessary for you and I to become avid about certain causes and issues.

There are two reasons for this:

  1. Without having some sort of conviction, we come across very dull, therefore decreasing our sexuality and monetary possibilities.
  2. Important causes will survive persecution and have a victory party, which we probably would like to attend.

How can you determine, in this crazy era of over-promotion, what purposes deserve your passion? Here’s a four-step process

A. Is it going to benefit me?

I understand it’s considered noble to appear selfless, but perhaps in doing so, we commit the most selfish act. None of us are selfless, so considering our own feelings will certainly occur. Therefore budgeting that in as a factor is only realistic

B. Will it come back to haunt me because of those I’ve mistreated?

Most of the time I don’t judge other people simply because I don’t want them looking into my business. It’s annoying to have people take inventory of your faults just because they’re trying to get even over a critical slip of your tongue

C. What is the history on the issue?

  • For instance, has slavery been successful throughout the ages?
  • How about forbidding rights to people?
  • Have individuals who hold “witch trials” ended up being considered innovative and generous?

Be smart. After all, history is just today with two weeks of vacation.

D. Will my involvement help?

There is a power in using what you have to do good. No doubt about that. There’s also a power in knowing when your personal contribution is worthless.

So there you go.

I know I have to be avid. Otherwise I will lull myself into an emotional sleep from which I will only be stirred with the warning signs of my heart attack. 

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Aviation

Aviation: (n) the flying or operating of aircraft.dictionary with letter A

Although I am surrounded by the mob which extols the beauty and intelligence of innovation, my perspective is much more cautious. Here’s what I have discovered.

Innovation has a very short shelf life before it is interrupted by human inconsistency, selfishness and ineptness.

I am positive that Wilbur and Orville Wright, when they flew their little contraption on the beach at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, were overjoyed with the sheer brilliance of invention–breaking through a barrier to birth the beginnings of flight.

Never did they envision or comprehend that it all would eventually come down to inconvenience, stale peanuts and cramped seats.

I remember the first time I ever flew in an airplane. I thought I was a god. But in typical human style, over the years we have succeeded in taking something truly remarkable and making it miserable.

Here is the reason:

All the bratty, stupid kids who sucked up to the teachers in high school grew up and ended up in middle management, where the only power they have in their lives is to usurp authority over other people and create obstacles.

They aren’t smart enough to become CEOs. And they’re just a little too smart to be menial laborers.

So the only joy they get in their lives is exactly what they had in school: being the tattle-tales and the jerks who really insisted that you weren’t allowed to take more than one milk in the cafeteria.

So when you go to the airport you are immediately greeted by these soulless authoritarians who want to make your experience as painful as possible.

This is true whether it’s the baggage handler who is convinced that your satchel is over seventy pounds, the TSA agent who thinks your shoes look suspicious, or the flight attendant who wants to argue with you about whether your I-Pad will be suitable for use on the journey through the sky.

Add the fact that some cranky manufacturers created seats more suited to the buttocks of an 8-year-old and you have a torture chamber of inefficient nastiness.

Even though most people realize this to be true, no change is introduced because it is all glossed over with the well-rehearsed statement: “Well, it’s still the best and safest way to travel.”

I still think flying is amazing.

I just wish all the former hall monitors and teacher-ass-kissers would be permanently grounded.

 

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Avert

Avert: (v) turn away one’s eyes or thoughts.

I like breasts.dictionary with letter A

I’m not talking about those that are dipped in egg and fried in a skillet which come from the hen-house. They have their appeal.

I’m talking about the breasts on the female of our species.

I suppose sharing that out loud makes one seem a little perverted or at least overly vulnerable. I don’t care. To deny it would make me a moralistic liar.

I especially enjoyed breasts in my twenties.

Matter of fact, I was traveling with a young lady who had a pair which particularly piqued my intrigue.

I tried to take the normal path that might lead one to revelation. In other words, I expressed interest in her, hoping that such a courtesy would eventually lead to full disclosure. But it didn’t.

She cursedly liked me “as a friend.” Friends don’t usually share their bosoms. (Just something I’ve discovered.)

So if I was going to feed the lustful monster which habitated somewhere deep in the cellar of my thoughts, it became necessary for me to come up with an angle from which to view the breasts of this young girl without going through medical school and becoming her gynecologist.

We were staying at a motel. Motels have a very sneaky system. The mirror that is on the wall–usually directly behind the television set–just happens to give you an excellent viewing angle into the nearby bathroom.

Now, I’m not certain if my friend, who happened to be a girl, was just naive, or if she was a little vixen who knew how to quickly escape into her foxhole. But one night she took a shower and decided not to close the bathroom door all the way. So sitting on my bed and gazing into that magical mirror, I was able to catch a vision of her womanhood.

At first it was hazy from the shower steam. But I persisted–and gradually, there they were.

Her breasts. They were beautiful.

She lingered and I joined her.

I became so excited that I nearly felt the need to take the situation in hand. But I maintained my dignity just in case she would emerge and catch me.

It was amazing.

I did not avert my glance.

I do not know what I would have been, to be so responsible. But whoever that person was, I personally was not acquainted with him.

I still like breasts. I am no longer a Peeping Tom, nor do I look for magical ways to see them, but I’m sure there are other things that I should avoid seeing … but I fail to avert my eyes.

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Aversion

Aversion: (n) a strong dislike or disinclination.dictionary with letter A

My prejudices are not more precious and beautiful simply because they’re hatched in my well-cared-for mental factory.

I know this.

Yet I wonder sometimes if scolding my personal attitudes that seem distasteful might not be a futile action, considering the fact that some of the things I dislike just might be universally annoying.

But I don’t like stereotypes. Stereotypes exist because specific sounds, attitudes and stupidities blare out at us–often at piercing decibels.

Is it possible to address things that are human-unfriendly without coming across as either a bigot or completely out of step with the progress of society?

For you see, I have some strong aversions. I usually keep them to myself. Why? Because I think they’re prejudices. But part of the time, I also think they’re intelligent insights which just might help the human race to truly evolve instead of monkeying around by accepting the ridiculous.

I will share them with you, understanding that I may come across as bizarre or arcane:

  1. I do not like it when young girls talk like they live in Southern California near the beach, unable to correctly form consonants.
  2. While we’re still on the talking situation, if I found myself to be a person of color, I would do everything in my power to cease speaking with a Southern accent, thereby impersonating my former oppressors.
  3. Fat people should not eat at buffets. Put it in a carryout box and take it home. For since I am a fat person, I am fully aware that if I don’t eat slowly and lightly at the buffet, everyone in the room will assume they understand the heights and depths of my gluttony.
  4. Women cannot achieve equality by insisting they are superior to men.
  5. Men cannot achieve equality by pretending in front of their friends that they think women are smarter than men.
  6. I think black Americans do a disservice to themselves by referring to their race as African-American. There isn’t any one of them who would last five minutes on the African continent.
  7. I would like to live in a world where rock and roll music can be enjoyed without buying into the culture of drugs, illicit sex and profane lyrics.
  8. I think rap music should be allowed but should be considered just as seriously as one values an organ recital at your church. In other words, you’re glad it’s there because it enhances the culture, but you probably won’t show up.
  9. Anyone who is political is unhelpful. Life is not political–it’s unpredictable. And if you’re not prepared to make adjustments toward what works, you will get trapped into what doesn’t.
  10. Stop telling me that you have found a solution to a problem only to tell me next week that the solution offered ends up causing cancer.

There are 10 right off the top of my head without even breaking a sweat.

Wait! There’s an 11th:

People who tell me that breaking a sweat will make me healthier… who end up in the emergency room with pulled muscles, broken bones and heart attacks.

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Average

Average: (adj) mean or median norm, meaning something that represents a middle point.

It caused me to become a better man, dad, writer, musician, driver, shopper, handler of money and general human being.dictionary with letter A

The day I realized that everything in life eventually averages out and lands in the realm of modicum was the time that I finally knew how to set my goals.

Let me give you an example:

When I looked over at the batch of children hatched from my lust and whim, I thought to myself, what do I want these little dudes to be in 25 years?

At first, my list of requests and preferences was too long. And then I came up with three words:

  • Solvent
  • Loving
  • Creative

With that in mind, I developed my parenting approach.

To make sure they were solvent, I never gave them money without giving them work. Why? Because the only ways to get money other than working for it is winning the lottery and stealing. You can see why I chose what I did. They did not always like the work, and their work was usually pretty mediocre. But even an average work ethic pushed them to the front of the class.

To make them loving, I forced them to go see people who were not very lovely–hurting, frustrated, addicted and poverty-stricken. They were somewhat repulsed, but still ended up much more empathetic than some of their friends.

And finally, creative. Every time they wanted me to buy them something, do something for them or get them off the hook for using their talents, I refused and made them produce something with their own hearts and hands, even though I must tell you, the result was often so ugly that I needed to quickly bury it in the back yard.

Still, they knew they were responsible to come to Earth and provide resources instead of just consume them.

Since human beings will generally end up average, it’s a good idea to have a standard. That’s why we keep Santa Claus around–he reminds us of the importance of giving.

And we maintain a belief in God, although we’re not sure…because He encourages us to find our better humanity. 

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Avenge

Avenge: (v) to inflict harm in return for an injury or wrong done to oneself or another.

Human beings are capable of understanding the concept.dictionary with letter A

A vast majority of us mortals understand that it would be completely inappropriate and foolish, not to mention selfish, to get on an airplane and request that all the people sitting near us move so that we could lie down across the three seats.

The saner members of the children of Adam and Eve are also aware that we take our turn in line at movie theaters or the DMV.

As you can see, there is an awareness that “time and chance happens to us all.”

Yet for some reason we have a tendency to draw a line in the sand when it comes to the action of being offended, attacked or mistreated. Why we think this is not bound to happen, considering the ego of our species and the amount of interaction we are required to have with one another, is beyond me.

Yet perfectly rational people who just left a football game, where they trickled out of the stadium in single file without complaining, will get into their cars and blare their horns at a person who dares to pull into the provided space in front of them.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, we’re already halfway on the journey–why not complete it?

For of a certainty we are aware that if someone walked into a restaurant and pushed to the front of the line, insisting that they needed to be served first, the whole room would hate them.

Yet why don’t we understand that it is a “hateable” instinct–to want to hurt someone else just because they hurt us?

Not only does the philosophy of “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” fail to heal our pain, but it doesn’t make us any less blind or grant us better ability to chew.

Somewhere along the line spirited people have to stop avenging–just the same way they learned to stand in line and wait their turn.

 

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Ave Maria

Ave Maria (n): a prayer to the Virgin Mary used in Catholic worship. The first line is adapted from Luke 1:28. dictionary with letter A

Everyone pretty much insists that they are not bound to be politically correct, even as they correctly utter everything politically.

I understand political correctness. Having a sensitivity for other people’s feelings, ideas, talent and faith is always a noble adventure. And actually, there are very few times when we should make a stand over some issue or terminology simply to prove our point.

I am not Catholic.

Yet when I sat down to write a novel on the life of Jesus, where he shares his own story, and I was compelled to fill in the missing years which are not normally spoken of in historical or scriptural writings, I ran headlong into the character of Mary of Nazareth.

You have billions of people in the world who believe that she was not only the mother of Jesus but also divine herself.

So rather than playing it safe, keeping a Catholic approach to her character, or disregarding those traditions in favor of a Protestant approach, I decided to research it as a writer.

What do we really know about the life of this woman?

My study opened up a vista of possibilities.

  1. She was probably a girl in her early teens, living in abstract poverty, when she found herself pregnant, believing deep in her heart that it was due to the bidding of an angel of the Lord.
  2. In sharing her story, she risked being stoned.
  3. She had the faith that her betrothed, Joseph, would come around and love her and protect her instead of becoming her primary accuser.
  4. She birthed her child in what might be considered some of the worst possible circumstances.
  5. Within two years she was forced into exile in Egypt to avoid having her son murdered.
  6. She returned to her home town, where the rumors of her pregnancy were still circling about.
  7. By my count, she had a total of seven children, counting the names of the ones listed in the Gospels. (Now, I know the Catholics believe these to be cousins, but to each his own.)
  8. She had to deal with her oldest son deciding to leave home, walking away from the family business.
  9. She mistakenly thought he may have turned crazy, and sent her other children out to get him, only to have him turn his back on the whole family to pursue his mission.
  10. She found herself in front of a cross, staring up into the bleeding and dying countenance of her beloved first-born.
  11. She was there to witness the resurrection.
  12. And she was present for the founding of the church that bore the name of her son of promise.

My research unveiled the character of a woman who was powerful, enduring, confused, pondering and finally, faithful.

Honestly, when I got finished, all I could say was … “Ave Maria.”

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Avarice

Avarice: (n) extreme greed for wealth or material gain.dictionary with letter A

It often leaves me baffled that we humans are completely aware of a truth which eludes us as we pursue our present fantasy.

Even though every mortal breathing air is fully aware that they won’t be able to take wealth and possessions with them. they still pursue it with such ferocity that they often become a cartoon version of themselves.

Maybe this humble writer can offer a 4-step process which might aid us all in discovering a more rational path:

  1. Once you have covered what you need, what you’re left with is what you want. And since our whim is so fickle, it’s probably a good idea to wait twenty-four hours before acquiring the present desire of our hearts. After that period has passed, we normally find that we don’t really want it quite as much, and certainly don’t need it.
  2. Even if you accumulate enough cash flow to get what you want, then you will be tempted to try to acquire what other people think you should want. If you become foolish enough to pursue this path, you will find that other people are actually spending your money for you. What a horrible sensation.
  3. So you should pause at this juncture, take a deep breath and realize that lobster costs more than chicken, therefore never meant to be eaten at all three square meals.
  4. Which leads to:
  • Meet your need
  • Plant a seed
  • Avoid greed

We should have what we need.

Maybe a little extra to invest in good ideas.

But never buy something because somebody thinks you should or to maintain the appearance of your status. 

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