Category Archives: A words

Adversary

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Adversary: (n) one’s opponent in a contest, conflict or dispute

I’m not so sure it’s about being an opponent.

Sometimes I think the conflict that exists between people is chemical–or certainly sensory. Our feuds and grudges are triggered by a dislike of some aspect of the personality or the appearance of our foe.

Once we get into that “grumpy” mindset, we start looking for reasons to disdain them, which is not that difficult to achieve, considering how all of us are stained with flaws and foibles.

So we end up with an adversary–someone who brings out our worst instead of our best.

It’s not exactly an enemy, although I’m sure the two words could be used synonymously. An enemy is someone who has proclaimed an intention to stand against us, no matter what. An adversary is a person who just doesn’t like how we do things, who we are, how we look or any of our choices, and therefore always wants to “nit-pick” whenever we’re around.

It is much more common that we would ever believe.

Matter of fact, I have come to believe that a large number of marital relationships are adversarial. Two people who share a bed often find it difficult to evenly distribute the covers. It makes them testy and overly sensitive.

So what should we do with an adversary?

  • It’s ridiculous to continue to aggravate one by flaunting our presence.
  • A suggestion is made in the Good Book that we should “reason with our adversary.” But what does that mean? Doesn’t reasoning have to begin with some reasonable respect for one another?
  • I think sometimes the greatest gift I can give to someone who finds me distasteful is to not be around so often for them to sample my flavor.
  • And when I find myself in their presence, I should be careful not to launch my personality, which they have already determined to be over the top.

Human life IS adversarial–we’re not going to escape it. But what we can do is refuse to become defensive by pursuing an offensive approach to those who have decided to cast their lot against us.

We just need to get over the notion that it is impossible for someone not to like us. It is not only possible–it is highly likely.

So maybe THAT’S what it means to reason with your adversary … just give ’em enough air to breathe that does not sniff of you.

Adverb

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Adverb: (n) a word or phrase that modifies or qualifies an adjective, verb, or other adverb: e.g. gently, quite, then, there

They do more than THAT.

That definition confirms that “adverb” has a really bad agent.

Because adverbs do more than explain or modify–they also put energy and action into words that would just lay there on the paper like somebody spilled ink.

“I went to the game.”

“I went joyously to the game.”

See the difference?

Without adverbs, we start acting like we’re old people. Yes, adverbs are for YOUNG people. They put some oom-pah into the polka band. They put more cowbell into the rock song. They even bring in the tympani twenty measures too soon because they’re so doggone excited about getting the drums in there.

  • Adverbs tell us that we’re writing instead of just reporting.
  • Adverbs tell us that things are done vigorously instead of just done.
  • Adverbs follow a verbal explanation with a visual punctuation.

They make us believe that human life was meant to be lived out loud and excited instead of droned or whispered in embarrassment.

As you can tell, I like adverbs. I even like unusual adverbs, such as “swimmingly.” (Granted, it shouldn’t be used very often and certainly never as a pun, to describe a Red Cross Lifeguard class.) But at the right moment, it’s tremendous, like all adverbs.

So stop looking at them as danglers.

And please, do the English language a favor and recognize them … as the enhancers they were intended to be.

Adventure

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Adventure: (n) an unusual, exciting and possibly hazardous experience or activity.

Make up your mind.

Is it unusual? Or exciting?

Is it exciting? Or is it hazardous?

Sometimes the dictionary sounds like my grandma. One of her favorite sayings, when she occupied grumpy human space, was, “I know it sounds like fun, but it also sounds dangerous.”

First of all, that’s not a great deterrent to a teenager who thinks that “fun” and “dangerous” should be the same. I think we greatly inhibit our progress as human beings–and also rob ourselves of opportunities–by trying to evaluate everything based upon whether it’s unusual. I also believe that connoting that the definition of “adventure” fits into one of those three categories is probably the most efficient way to keep people efficient–and boring.

I disagree with Webster. Adventure is just the way it sounds–it’s adding a venture.

It’s taking on something new, seeing how it flies, and making sure you don’t get TOO far off the ground–so if it crashes, there will be no loss of life or limb. Otherwise, you start believing you’ve got to do something truly weird to express yourself, or worse, totally expensive.

I have friends who can’t have fun unless they spend money. To a certain degree isn’t that the antithesis of fun? Because even as you’re enjoying the surroundings, you’re lamenting the loss of income.

No, I think “adventure” should be adding a venture to your life every week, different from the previous week, which does not involve much capital, much time or much loss of anything. For instance:

  • Once in your life you should volunteer at a soup kitchen.
  • You should probably go hiking.
  • Get on a lonely stretch of road and drive your car real fast.
  • Surprise a stranger on the street with a five-dollar bill.
  • Be in a good mood when people think you probably shouldn’t.

Just find things that are already built into nature which are intriguing and take them on, so when the subjects are brought up, you can have a story.

There you go. That’s what life is all about. Granting yourself enough ventures that you can always come up with a story … often describing how much you despised the addition.

 

Advent

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Advent: (n) the first season of the church year, leading up to Christmas and including the four prior Sundays.

Even with the introduction of an Easter bunny bringing candy, we are not able to market the crucifixion and resurrection nearly as easily as the birth of the Prince of Peace.

I suppose that makes some people fussy. They would be the same people who insist that “Christmas is too commercial” or that manger scenes should be mandatory everywhere in spite of civil liberties.

Actually, I take this little piece of information as a harkening. Isn’t that a great word? “Harkening.” A harkening is a quiet shout, informing us of something truly important.

Much as we may need salvation, we are still doing our time on earth before we’re paroled to heaven. Like some people in prison, we can use that sentence to become worse criminals, mean and even turn into killers–OR we can go to the library, study and get more education, find new life and emerge from the experience overjoyed because we have redeemed the time.

I think that’s what happens at Advent.

For about thirty-two days, we allow ourselves to wonder if it might be possible that a baby changed the world–and more importantly, caused us to loosen our purse strings, buy a present for someone else and think about abstract ideas like “peace on earth” and “goodwill toward men.”

If heaven is better than earth, then earth is a place where we’re supposed to learn how to become heavenly, don’t you think?

So merely saving people from their sin does not cause them to learn to win.

  • That takes the Advent.
  • This demands Christmas.

It is a season when we actually believe that a child born of peasants can stir the heavens, beckoning both shepherds and kings.

Advantage

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Advantage: (n) a condition or circumstance that puts one in a favorable or superior position.

“Tall, dark and handsome.”

I never acquired any member of that trio. I do not possess that advantage.

IS it an advantage? I think if you’re tall, dark and handsome, you do get an immediate pass to the front of the line. Unfortunately for you, if you don’t back that up with “smart, hard-working and caring,” you probably will be booted to the curb quicker than someone who is plain-looking.

Why? Because you’re disappointing. You promised SO much with your looks and delivered SO little with your personality.

Therefore what seems to be an advantage quickly can become a disadvantage if you end up thinking you are a fleshly mannequin instead of a real human being.

Yet I will tell you that we all NEED an advantage–something that truly sets us apart instead of us merely “moving our parts” and getting “set in our ways.”

So I worked on ME. Actually, it’s a work in progress, so please do not think that I’m done. Three areas, paralleling “tall, dark and handsome:”

Since I couldn’t muster “tall,” I decided to be faithful. By faithful, I mean true to my own word while sensitive to the needs of others.

I went opposite on “dark.” I decided to be a light–to bring possibilities and hope instead of merely stating the obvious and offering gloom to the room.

“Handsome” out of the question, I chose to be attractive. Now you may think those are the same, but they aren’t. What is most attractive to other human beings is a glorious blend of humor, talent and humility. When you are able to mix those three spices together, you can put them in any dish and create a delicacy.

  • There is no advantage in being good-looking if you’re dumbfounded.
  • There is no advantage in wealth if you’re selfish.
  • And there is no advantage in being popular if you’re not prepared for the day when you will be pushed away by the latest fad.

The greatest advantage any human being can have is to tap your resources … and give a damn.

Advance

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Advance: (v) move forward, typically in a purposeful way: e.g. the troops advanced on the capital. 2. to lend money to someone 3. an approach made to someone typically with the aim of initiating a sexual encounter.

He asked me if I was “a progressive.”

I realized it was a trick question. He obviously did not approve of progressives and had found a box he planned to stuff me into, to satisfy his simplistic way of thinking.

For it seems that somewhere along the line, a desire to advance the cause of mankind and progress us toward better solutions has become unsatisfactory.

In my lifetime, many of the things I was told were irreversible and immutable in their sacred nature have been abandoned in favor of easier practices.

For after all, I grew up thinking that black people were black, homosexuals were homosexual, women were women, north was north, south was south, divorce was evil, technology was mistrusted and that the hula hoop was actually a toy to entertain children.

All of these things have been pushed aside to advance one universal concept: freedom.

Yet the people who want freedom for one thing in this country want to restrict it for something else, and those who are determined to promote their particular agenda will be more than happy to pour gasoline on yours and set it on fire.

What does it mean–to advance? What is the definition of making progress? When do we know that we are moving forward instead of stumbling backwards or doing a two-step side to side?

Am I just an idiot to think this can be answered with one question:

Is it making better humans?

Because it would be impossible to help stray dogs, cats and Bambi, for that matter, if the human beings around them want to hurt them and kill them.

It would be ridiculous to think that we could give equal rights to the mass of the multitude if portions of the crowd have already decided that some people are inferior.

And we certainly will not be able to stop war–which may be the antithesis of advancement–until each one of us realizes that we are probably not going to get everyone to conform to our ideals.

Is it making better humans? That’s my yardstick.

  • I’m sorry–I don’t think pornography makes better humans. I’m not going to rail against it, but I also am not going to pretend that it’s “a rite of passage.”
  • I don’t think guns make better humans. I’m not suggesting they should be prohibited–just not promoted.
  • I don’t think abortion makes better humans. I prefer contraception, education and adoption.

My list goes on and on. I’m sure it would vary from yours–but we might be surprised at how many cross-references we would have.

I would love to see us advance. I have been fully warned NOT to call it being progressive–but at the very least, could we take some time to think about our survival and how we might want to make the lives of our children and grandchildren richer, more spiritual and laced with intelligence instead of dulled by drugs, attitudes and practices … that leave them in a stupor.

Adultery

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAdultery: n) voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not his or her spouse.

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

Yeah. That should handle it–similar to attempting to conserve oxygen by asking people to hold their breath.

Sex is not optional. It is essential to the human being–not because of the physical release, nor merely because of the intimacy. It is the blending of playfulness with a demand to confirm that we are attractive.

Thus, the reason why the practice becomes common and often distasteful in elongated relationships. Very simply, we remove the danger. We take away the lust and replace it with undying love. And true enough, maybe the love doesn’t die, but all the parts around it do.

Adultery will continue to be popular because people will flirt, and in the process of doing so, will discover they are attractive and instinctively follow up on that, even though later on they may feel guilty or find themselves in divorce court.

What we should be doing is holding seminars on how men and women can get along, be playful, flirt, and even agree to withhold sexual intercourse in order to enhance the spiciness of it instead of continually promoting the idea that the sexes are destructive to one another, suffering from irreconcilable differences.

I get tired of the word “unfaithful.” If we really think that faith is something we can possess without the evidence of works to follow, we are in “dreamy land” and are expressing an erroneous psychology instead of truly understanding human beings.

We lose interest because we’ve stopped being playful, removed the danger, ceased flirting and have passed on the impression that we’re “not quite as hot for each other.”

After all, there’s no such thing as having sex. It’s an awkward, stumbling, childish, foolish, clumsy, delightful, adolescent, jubilant, silly explosion–an accidental decision leading us to roll over on our backs, thinking: “I wonder if I should have done that.”

There’s no reason you can’t keep those elements in a marriage, as long as both parties understand that remaining appealing to one another is not just primping the outer features, but also constantly evolving the inner self.

I think using the term “adultery” is Old Testament. It’s really a fling. Sometimes we try to justify it; most of the time we avoid it.

But no one will be honest enough to say that adultery is inevitable if we allow the communication between each other to come only in one flavor … vanilla.

Adult

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Words from Dic(tionary)

Adult: (n) a person who is fully grown or developed

There aren’t any. Adults, that is.

Well, there are people who are fully grown. It’s the development part I question.

Actually, since there’s no requirement in America for passing an emotional IQ test, we allow individuals who are extremely distraught and immature to hold positions ranging from government to religion to entertainment to air traffic controller.

In our country, it boils down to two categories:

  • those who still have an adolescent reaction to life’s difficulties–unashamedly
  • those who have an adolescent reaction to life’s difficulties with a little bit of shame

What is the difference? What makes an adult?

1. Stop taking things personally. Life is a game of “hot potato.” It WILL come your way.

2. Stop waiting for someone else to solve your problems. Actually, the fun of being grown-up is the freedom of making your own mistakes and correcting personal flaws.

3. Don’t measure yourself by those you see around you. Find someone, be it God, Gandhi, Jesus, Steven Spielberg or Mary Magdalene, whose character supersedes yours, and use him or her as your yardstick.

4. Be content but never satisfied. There’s a certain regality in celebrating cautiously.

5. And finally, don’t get pissed off so often. Save it. Believe you me, a good pissed-off possibility is just around the corner.

Until we have adults, we will have childish solutions offered in a grown-up world. It’s why at times our society feels like a Halloween party, where everybody comes dressed up, wanting candy, but the whole thing ends up kind of spooky and scary.

 

Adulation

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Adulation: (n) obsequious flattery; excessive admiration or praise: e.g. he found it difficult to cope with the adulation of the fans.

Excessive admiration.

Doggone. That got me thinking. (Actually, if you’re going to be a writer, you should do some thinking. This premise may not be obvious, especially when you view articles in print. But a certain amount of reasoning, perceiving and a few thought bubbles should precede the process of jotting down lasting words in an essay.)

What is excessive? And what is admiration?

You know, I really think this is something human beings have worked out on their own. We have this great phrase: “admiring from afar.”

Even though I get grumpy and have the occasional lamentation because people don’t inform me of what they like about me, I do realize that they tell others. Maybe there’s something in the human psyche, or our “jungle sense,” which lets us know that we shouldn’t puff people up too much lest we burst them and splatter their contents to the four winds.

So instead, we tell others how much we like them, using that old-fashioned “trickle down” theory. In other words, we hope that what goes around really DOES come around.

There are too many people in this world, though, who hear too much praise and others who are destitute of having their hands lifted and their burdens lightened.

That sucks.

I mean, let’s be honest. Are the people we see on television REALLY the “best” at anything?

Even though I write, perform, compose and so forth, there are many other individuals worthy of more praise than me. So I’m careful to deflect the teaspoon of adulation I receive instead of swallowing it like medicine or licking it like honey off a stick.

Why? Because it’s excessive.

I also do not like religious services in which God is always “adored” and great adulation is given to His Holy Name–when really, as a Father, He would appreciate it if the kids would just pick up the room.

Yes, when you’re a parent, you don’t need your children to come around with saccharine affection, hugging you around the neck all the time. It would just be nice if they would take the trash out at the end of the day.

I don’t like adulation. I do like appreciation. Whenever something is done in kindness it should be acknowledged and encouraged.

But to insist that the person hung the moon because he or she was considerate ,,, is certainly lunacy.

Adroit

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAdroit: (adj.) clever or skillful in using the hands or the mind: e.g. he was adroit at tax avoidance.

A time or two I have actually tried to USE the word, but I was never able to get it completely out of my mouth without giggling.

First of all, it’s much easier to say “accomplished,” and also clearer to the listener. But mostly, when I say “adroit” I have to think of a droid. And when I think of a droid, I start conjuring visions of R2D2 or C-3PO.

And then I smile and chortle.

Some words were just never meant to be used. Or maybe they’ve been destroyed by other words that came in and sucked up all the air in the room.

I suppose it would be fun to say that C-3PO was adroit at being a droid. But that’s the kind of pun and cleverness which in our generation makes people groan instead of laugh.

Yes, humor has changed. It has to be brazen and perhaps even a little risqué nowadays to get an exuberant response from an audience. A simple play on words leaves people thinking that you’re old-fashioned or kind of silly.

But anyway, back to “adroit”–I have to conclude that it’s one of those words which if I used, everybody in the room would get that “W-h-a-a-t??” face and then become annoyed that I was trying to be overly smart instead of communicating coolly.

And then, like me, they would probably pull up the idea of a droid instead, which might take them to Aliens, where the monsters had acid for blood and the artificial life form was possessed by one of the villains.

See? It just makes me digress.

So I shall stay away from “adroit” because of its pretentious sound and reference to robots.

I hope the word will not feel shunned.

Even though, if you think about it, “adroit” and “shunned” are very similar in their practical use.