Tag Archives: shopping

Consternation

Consternation: (n) feelings of anxiety or dismay

I agreed to go shopping with a friend. I don’t do that very often–not because I am anti-social or unwilling to get out of my house and peruse the neighborhood.

To me, shopping is a personal thing, with a personal approach.

I like to organize before I go, flow into the shopping center, pick my things up, take advantage of any sales, acquiring a surprise or two, andfunny wisdom on words that begin with a C get back home with the sense of accomplishment.

I don’t hurry but I also don’t linger.

So my decision to go shopping with this other person was carefully made, and decided in order to promote some good fellowship.

We arrived at the shopping mall and it was crowded.

My friend had to circle several times to find a parking space, and then a guy with a little car pulled in front of him and took it.

Honestly, my friend was already a little dismayed over having to search for a parking anyway, but the action of the little car turned it into consternation.

He sat there, blocking traffic, until the driver of the little car got out. My buddy yelled at him.There was no profanity, but he made it clear that he thought the dude had no upbringing and was basically “an common asshole.”

After this he sped away, looking for a space, grumbling under his breath. He peered at me and posed the question, “Have you ever seen anything like that before?”

I had, so I truthfully replied, “Yes.”

He was not satisfied, so he pursued. “Well, don’t you think that’s stupid–what that guy did?”

Also easy to answer. “Yes.”

“So,” he continued, “would you have done what I did?”

Uh-oh. Now I was trapped. I could lie and tell him I would have done the same thing, to make sure the shopping trip was more pleasant, and to take away the dark cloud brought on by the “space stealer.”

But I decided to tell him the truth. “My friend,” I said, “I don’t pursue confrontation unless the person receiving my challenge has the possibility of learning from it and becoming different.”

My friend didn’t like my answer. For the entire two hours we were at the mall he remained grumpy. He didn’t like what the stores had to offer, he hated the prices, and when we stopped at the Food Court for a delicious lunch, he was convinced his burrito was too salty and not made with actual meat.

He faithfully maintained a pious position of consternation.

I, on the other hand, was grateful to get home.

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Beside

Beside: (prep) at the side of; next to.

Dictionary B

It took six-and-a-half days to build up the courage to ask.

I was only fifteen years old, and although I was very interested in girls, they terrified me.

So I finally mustered the courage to ask young Judy to go on a date. Well…not exactly.

First of all, I had no car, no money and no ideas on where to go. So more or less, it was a verbal scouting expedition, to see if she would be willing to go out with me if I actually had been capable of pulling it off.

After many gulps, delays and conversational dead-end streets, I finally choked out my request–and lo and behold, she said yes.

So I decided to have my mother drive us to a nearby town where they had a movie theater and drop us off in the shopping area, to pick us up four hours later. We started walking around, and it became obvious that Judy was unable, or unwilling, to stay beside me.

She either walked a little ahead or stayed a little behind.

So when I slowed up for her to catch up, she passed by me, and I had to catch up with her. At no point did I feel that we ever connected. Even when we went into the movie theater, she tried to sit one seat away.

I thought it was due to the fact that she was timid–but at the end of our little excursion I learned the truth.

After grilling her for about fifteen minutes, she finally came out with the information that she only said yes to the date because she didn’t know how to say no. But when we got to the little town and started exploring, she realized that the boy she really liked was nearby, walking around, and even went to the same movie. She didn’t want to discourage him by making him think that she was beside me.

Ouch.

And I mean, double ouch.

I learned that night, though, that the way we communicate tenderness and true interest in one another is not by leading nor by following.

It’s by staying solidly beside one another.

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Bargain

Bargain: (n) a thing bought or offered for sale more cheaply than is usualDictionary B

It is generally reported among the human race that any time we’ve saved a buck we’ve made a “dear” bargain.

I have to admit, I am susceptible to that philosophy but I also have enough memories of failed bargains to be a little leery of continuing to pursue the prospect with great vigor.

After all, nothing is a bargain if it ends up sucking.

There are two things we want in life, and two things only:

  1. We want what we desire
  2. We want it to work

Anything less than that will leave us disgruntled, even if it was less expensive.

I have often seen my fellow-travelers show me a product they purchased, touting the great deal they got, only to lament their dissatisfaction over its lack of quality.

So is it better to spend a bit more for what you desire, to plug it in and have it work?

I think that’s the definition of maturity.

It’s why I spend a little more time deciding to shop, and much less time actually shopping. Because once I do go, I know what I want and the price tag is secondary to my preference.

With that in mind, let us understand that politics is no bargain. It does not give us what we want, and honest to God, it does not work.

Entertainment is often no bargain. I need to be inspired and energized, but often walk out at the mercy of the director’s dementia.

Religion is no bargain. I desire happiness now and ecstasy in heaven–and they give me present misery and a “maybe” on the afterlife.

So for all you bargain hunters or people who spend three hours clipping out $18 worth of coupons (that’s $6 an hour in labor) let me tell you that I am reluctant to join your club.

My heart’s desire is too important to me, and making sure something actually works is too necessary to my well-being.

 

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Appendix

dictionary with letter A

Ap·pen·dix (n.): a tube-shaped sac attached to and opening into the lower end of the large intestine in humans and some other mammals.

They tell me that no one knows exactly what the appendix does. That got me thinking.

What is the appendix of other things in life?

The appendix of politics is all the negative ads put on the air to try to prove the rottenness of the competition.

The appendix of entertainment is all the remakes which discuss the beauty of the cinematography instead of offering insight, gentleness and possibility to human beings.

The appendix of marriage is the belief that commitment is enough to sustain a relationship between two people without an ongoing lustful affection.

The appendix of weight loss is the notion that fat people want to be fat and therefore should be ridiculed and punished into submission.

The appendix of education lies in the contention that the more you spend for it, the smarter you become.

The appendix of shopping is very similar–the thought that name brands always have more quality than knock-offs.

The appendix of humanity is the belief that we’re “all different” instead of seeking our similarities.

The appendix of the relationship between men and women is the abiding presumption that they are so ill-suited that peaceful co-existence seems unlikely.

The appendix of self-esteem it that it can be achieved by bolstering ego instead of offering opportunity.

The appendix of lying is the misconception that we can actually pull it off.

And the appendix of religion is that it tries to please God by hurting people when God made it clear that loving people is the only way to please Him.

 

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Anesthesia

dictionary with letter A

Anesthesia: (n.) drugs or gases designed to create insensitivity to pain prior to surgical procedure.

It occurred to me while standing in the breakfast aisle at the local supermarket.

In previous years, I complained about going shopping and having rude little children point, giggle and laugh at me simply because I was a fat man.

On this day, what crossed my mind, standing next to the Honey Nut Cheerios, was that I couldn’t remember the last time that I had such a confrontation with a little one in the marketplace. I wondered if it was because our children had gained a new sensitivity and had ceased to mock unusual people.

Without being too cynical, I seriously doubt that. There is certainly as much prejudice around today as in any other time.

So it baffled me a little bit.

But then I realized–the secret to this absence of ridicule did not lie in the children, but rather in me.

  • I had stopped looking for the pain.
  • I had ceased to probe the room for disapproval or listen for the slightest chuckle.
  • I had learned to go about my business.
  • I had accepted the great anesthesia of confidence and peace of mind, to free me from the need to be pricked and probed until I screamed out in displeasure.

Maybe the kids are still laughing. But I am dull to their critique.

Maybe when I come zooming by, they poke each other, point and giggle at me. But I am already gone.

The glory of anesthesia is that necessary surgery can be done to our bodies without us fighting the treatment.

May God give me the anesthesia of soul satisfaction so the surgery that He needs to continue to do to my heart … will be painless and profitable.

 

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