Tag Archives: species

Beau

Beau: (n) a boyfriend or male admirer.Dictionary B

Although I don’t want to be considered a curmudgeon, there are certain words that rile me up.

One of them is “boyfriend.” And honestly, I am not any more enamored with the use of “beau.”

It is my discovery that to be a friend to a female, the last thing I need to be is a boy. Equally disappointing to the average woman is when we don the persona of man.

The reason we contend there’s a battle of the sexes is because we posture in our gender and insist on our uniqueness, making us a goddam threat. We don’t tolerate such an exclusive approach in other situations:

We don’t allow butchers to cut up our pets because they’re off work and miss the job.

We don’t permit teenagers to insist they don’t need to be part of the social structure because they’re too busy dealing with the angst of their acne.

Yet for some reason, it appears to be acceptable to hide behind the “guise of the guys” and the “mystique of the feminine.”

It’s hilarious–especially when you get around people in their senior years, who find themselves ingloriously dating, introducing their male partner as a “boyfriend.”

I have just found that the best way to get along with a woman is to make it clear that you do not consider her an acquisition, but rather, a confidante.

Adding the word “boy” inserts way to much testosterone.

And if you insist on being called “beau” in order to avoid boyfriend… then you add too much grits and gravy.

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

 

 

 

Avenge

Avenge: (v) to inflict harm in return for an injury or wrong done to oneself or another.

Human beings are capable of understanding the concept.dictionary with letter A

A vast majority of us mortals understand that it would be completely inappropriate and foolish, not to mention selfish, to get on an airplane and request that all the people sitting near us move so that we could lie down across the three seats.

The saner members of the children of Adam and Eve are also aware that we take our turn in line at movie theaters or the DMV.

As you can see, there is an awareness that “time and chance happens to us all.”

Yet for some reason we have a tendency to draw a line in the sand when it comes to the action of being offended, attacked or mistreated. Why we think this is not bound to happen, considering the ego of our species and the amount of interaction we are required to have with one another, is beyond me.

Yet perfectly rational people who just left a football game, where they trickled out of the stadium in single file without complaining, will get into their cars and blare their horns at a person who dares to pull into the provided space in front of them.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, we’re already halfway on the journey–why not complete it?

For of a certainty we are aware that if someone walked into a restaurant and pushed to the front of the line, insisting that they needed to be served first, the whole room would hate them.

Yet why don’t we understand that it is a “hateable” instinct–to want to hurt someone else just because they hurt us?

Not only does the philosophy of “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” fail to heal our pain, but it doesn’t make us any less blind or grant us better ability to chew.

Somewhere along the line spirited people have to stop avenging–just the same way they learned to stand in line and wait their turn.

 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

*******************

NEW BOOK RELEASE BY JONATHAN RICHARD CRING

WITHIN

A meeting place for folks who know they’re human

 $3.99 plus $2.00 S&H

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

Buy Now Button

 

Antler

dictionary with letter A

Antler: (n) one of the branched horns on the head of an adult (usually male) deer, which are made of bone and are cast off annually and regrown.

As is often the case, I will now expound on issues I know absolutely nothing about, but still manage to muster an anemic opinion.

I have gone hunting but am timid to mention it because around those who actually have a “Daniel Boone mystique,” I would appear to be less than a novice and probably considered a “dandy.”

But hanging around a lot of people who have hunted animals with antlers, I have discovered that the male of our species has succeeded in projecting its own insecurity about the penis onto the head decoration of the local, assumed macho, deer.

So supposedly, it is much better to shoot one of these animals with seven points than it is one with five.

I would assume the deer have obviously learned not to be so presumptuous to tout their prowess of being “boneheads,” knowing full well that come spring, they will have to start all over again.

Actually, to the deer a set of antlers is very similar to the savings account of the average American family–just when you think you’ve got a good start, it falls off.

So I do not think there really is “antler envy” among this deer species. It is something we attribute to them because of our male insecurity about our own growth potential.

Maybe we’d be better off if “it” fell off every year … and had to grow back.

 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

Animalism

dictionary with letter A

Animalism: (n.) behavior that is characteristic or appropriate to animals, particularly in being physical or instinctive.

I think it is possible to appreciate members of the animal kingdom while still being candid about their limited capabilities, and often vicious tendencies.

People who do not respect the teeth of the lion often get swallowed up in their error.

But what bothers me the most about the animal kingdom is how we, as human beings, who have been granted great heart, spirit, intellect and physical abilities, have deteriorated these gifts to the more base representations.

So our emotions are animalistic.

For instance, our movies and art fail to portray the sensitivity available to us as human beings, but rather, expand on the aggressive, selfish and dark aspects of hapless iniquity.

And I am certainly fed up with a spiritual animalism which turns the life of Jesus of Nazareth into a human sacrifice, complete with the members of the cult cannibalizing over his remains in some symbol of religious consecration.

As it pertains to intellectual animalism, I am bewildered why we think the accumulation of knowledge with no application of wisdom does any good for us in our progress as a species. I, for one, have grown weary of people who are smart but unwise. I am tired of hearing debates, serving up facts without allowing for the smorgasbord of human heart.

And let me be the first one to say that I am appalled at the physical animalism which has taken human sexuality into the realm of unashamed pornography. There is nothing more awkward, comical and tender than human beings having sexual relationships with each other. To turn it into a circus act or some sort of abusive domination of power, where one person is subjugated, is a glorification of the mating season, with beleaguered females being raped by their male counterparts simply because nature demands the encounter.

I am willing to be part of an animal kingdom which I respect and caretake. But I am not willing to take the beauty of my heart, soul, mind and strength … and allow them to be defined by the rules of the jungle.

 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

Anagram

dictionary with letter A

Anagram: (n) a word or name formed by rearranging the letters of another word, such as cinema, formed from iceman.

The reason I am reluctant to have anyone refer to me as “smart” is that it is so easy for me to come along and disprove their assertion.

It’s not that I want to be counted amongst the ignorant or ill-informed. I don’t wish to be perceived as a dolt, but by the same token, there is a great pending tragedy in allowing oneself to be considered hyper-intelligent.

There are things I do well. For instance:

  • I can write.
  • I can sing.
  • I can play piano.
  • I can compose.

But there are things that demand thinking, intellect and reasoning which for some reason, totally escape me and thrust me to the back of the pack–to the disappointed glances of those who were once my promoters.

So on those occasions when I’m watching television right before prime time, and Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune come on, back to back, I am always humbled by the fact that both of these shows make me feel like an alien to my own species.

Jeopardy!–because there are always questions they call “general knowledge,” which make me look like a major fool in a private arena for dunces.

Wheel of Fortune–because I get so nervous about solving the puzzles but never can beat the people on the show, and end up either making excuses or switching the channel to reruns of Law and Order.

Anagrams are that way with me. Some people can look at them and see words leaping out, forming themselves in mid-air. They have determined the hidden idea within the collection of letters–while I’m still waiting for a “vowel movement.”

I know it’s good to try to learn new things and increase one’s perspective and insight by collective experiences, but I think somewhere along the line you have to determine the aptitude of your own brain, the ability that exists in your gray matter and pursue those adventures with greater zeal–and allow the experts in other fields to surpass you, and hopefully teach and protect you.

It’s not shameful to be dumb sometimes.

The shame only comes when you insist that you really knew the answer … or “somebody cheated.”

 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

Amnio

dictionary with letter A

Amnio: (n) informal term for amniocentesis.

Needled.

Are you familiar with that word? It refers to being chided, bugged and criticized.

I guess we want to do it to babies while they’re still in Mama’s sack. “Let’s stick our needle in there and see what you are. Discover what you’re made of. ”

Are you weak? Sickly? Disabled? Fat? Gay?

We’re not even going to give you a chance to have the benefit of overcoming or changing your circumstance. We’re gonna “needle” you.

It is the abiding misconception that if we can just make better physical specimens we will have a better world. Do away with different; eliminate weaker. And then we all will be strong.

God damn us if we are just so stupid that we don’t understand what makes human beings strong!

We become exemplary as a species when we learn to accept the different, undergird the weak and even admit there are those who are stronger, who can teach us to expand.

In a world of sameness, we invite even more nasty pickiness, because the differences will be smaller–to match our character.

Let’s stop “needling” each other.

Let’s start by leaving babies alone.

 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

Amazon

dictionary with letter A

Amazon: (n) a river in South America that flows more than 4,150 miles through Peru, Colombia and Brazil into the Atlantic Ocean. In terms of water flow, it is the largest river in the world.

Yeah, okay.

The Amazon’s a river. Gotcha.

But when I hear the word “Amazon,” I think about that tribe of women running around dominating their atmosphere and surroundings–extra tall, extra beautiful, mythical in nature and the dream of every red-blooded man because they will not be encompassed.

Why a dream? Because deep within the male of our species is the notion that he, individually–and he alone–holds the secret key to every woman’s pleasure.

The times I have seen TV shows or movies portraying these women, unlike my male counterparts, I am completely terrified and would like to run into a corner and suck my thumb.

They are gorgeous, powerful and willing to do anything necessary to keep their autonomy from being subjugated by hairier Homo Sapiens.

So even though I know the Amazon is a river in South America, the image of these domineering, dominating ladies has overtaken my mind and turned the word into a combination of a cartoon and a frightening nightmare.

What would I do if I met an Amazon woman? How would I handle myself in that situation? How would I establish my macho presence?

I would pee my pants … and then surrender.

 

Allah

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Allah: (n) the name of God among Muslims (and Arab Christians)

I got a Kentucky woman pissed off at me–and unlike Neil Diamond’s representation of Kentucky women, they actually can be quite vindictive.

I had the audacity, as a writer trying to be clever, to jokingly refer to God, in one of my books, as Larry. The tongue-in-cheek observation I was trying to make was that I really don’t care what name we use for our Divine Creator–as long as the results are productive in the human experience.

She was greatly offended by this notion, and decided to spread evil rumors about me. Of course, it didn’t last too long–and she’s living in Kentucky while I’m still traveling the country (with Larry).

But the truth of the matter is, I am not concerned with the nametags we place upon the breast of the Holy One as much as the character we end up attributing to His or Her nature.

It is my discovery that the Muslims call the Creator of us all “Allah.” I must be candid–the word leaves a bit of distaste in my soul because of how their Allah seems to view humanity and how He plans on making us righteous.

I have just never found that good is gained through restriction, meanness and commandments. It is unsuccessful in a species that struggles with temptation and inadequacy. Perhaps, as some of my dear Muslim friends may insist, this representation of Allah from the Koran is not true by those who stomp, scream and terrorize.

I understand.

But it does fall their lot to disprove the shouting voices of the angry horde if they’re actually going to continue to present Allah as a viable choice for us folks.

I think if you’re going to call someone or something “God,” it should have three definite attributes:

  1. Be a Creator, not a critic.
  2. Still be happy that it created, and not miserable with the decision.
  3. Have more mercy than judgment.

Because candidly, my dear friends, if God, Allah or whoever it may be doesn’t cut us some slack from His perfected perch, who would have a chance?

So until those who believe in Allah can convince me that their representation of God is still thrilled with human beings instead of angry with them, I guess I will stick with the three-letter version: G-O-D.