Tag Archives: smart

Crop Up

Crop up: (v) to bear or yield a crop; the result

Occasionally, I find myself sitting in a meeting with people from a ‘planning committee,’ and because a certain subject has drawn extensive conversation and disagreement, the chairman of the event will close off the topic by remarking:

“Well, let’s just see what might crop up.”

It is one of those statements we make when we think further debate is more tedious than something that might attack us because we did not prepare for it. Of course, often we are either too smart or too intimidated to settle for such an ambiguous assertion.

For instance, if four or five of my friends and I were standing at the bottom of a mountain, and someone said, “Let’s just climb up,” and one of my buddies responded, “But we don’t have a rope and we’re old and out of shape.” Then if another fellow piped up to object, “Listen, let’s just get started and see what crops up,” truthfully, we would not follow that advice.

Certainly, when we were younger and experimenting with our sexual loins and we became so excited that we were ready to indulge in intercourse with another human being and this partner said, “I hope you don’t mind—I have chlamydia,” the normal reaction would most definitely not be, “That’s ok. Let’s just see what crops up.”

What I’m trying to say is that there are moments when we are of sound mind—even when we seem to be possessed of unsound intentions.

So why can’t we make voting one of those?

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

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Conundrum

Conundrum: (n) anything that puzzles.

 You will never be smart until you’re willing to be confused.

You will never gain intelligence without being baffled.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Being content with what you know is the preamble to ignorance.

Life is a conundrum.

You can approach it as complicated, like it’s a mystical wonderland that needs to be conquered (perchance you’re some sort of knight from the round table) or you can confess that with your limited amount of mental capacity, you’re better off nibbling at the edges, keeping things as simple as possible.

Facts are, there’s nothing I can do about a broken American political system. It is also beyond my scope to transform religious people into real, just humans. And the entertainment industry is rife with egotistical individuals who deem themselves artists, so reasoning with them will give you a pain in your head and ass at the same time.

If you run across a conundrum, don’t deem yourself King Arthur who can pull the sword out of the stone.

Go buy yourself a second-hand sword and polish it really good.

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Conclusion

Conclusion: (n) a judgment or decision reached by reasoning.

I have come to the conclusion that the more conclusions you come to, the less likely it is that you will actually arrive at a conclusion.

The human race has an inordinate greed to be smart. It’s in all of us.

Each one of us has to press it down a little bit or we would be incapable of standing in line at a grocery store without strangling the person in funny wisdom on words that begin with a C
front of us, who has twelve items in the ten-item lane.

You see, the problem is, we know this person has twelve items because for some ridiculous reason, we counted them.

Yes, the conclusion we must come to is that there’s a certain amount of indifference–dare we say, apathy?–which is necessary to possess in order to live with other humans. Otherwise, we begin to desire to treat them like animals, brought to us for training.

So may I present to you, in all humility, the only three conclusions that matter from the moment they cut your umbilical cord until the day you sever the cord between yourself and the living:

  1. The happiest people in the world do not draw any conclusions.
  2. If they have conclusions, they use them to benefit their own journey and decorate their own space.
  3. A world without conclusions is often chaotic, but does allow for excellence to rise to the top.

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Concession

Concession: (n) something that is granted

A few obvious but still needfully shared concessions:

  1. I am not nearly as smart as I think, nor even as you project.
  2. I am not a stud. I don’t know a stud. What is a stud?
  3. Diets don’t work, but when I eat less I weigh less.
  4. Talent is overrated, leaving creativity orphaned.
  5. I am not the best at anything but in a pinch can pass.
  6. There is no difference between a Republican and a Democrat when they are both blind to real human need.
  7. Church does not make people better. Just pious.
  8. As long as men are trying to be superior, women will never be able to pull themselves up to equality.
  9. Even though I like to watch it, football is a dangerous sport.
  10. I can’t taste the beer in my bratwurst.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

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Compartment

Compartment: (n) a separate container

My life makes me giggle.

I have had enough spirituality to satisfy the Pope in Rome, enough emotion to make a twelve-year-old girl cry for hours, enough mental stimulus that I’ve fooled some people into thinking I was smart, and in my earlier years, enough exercise to play tennis at a standard that people didn’t laugh when they saw me on the court.

Mine is a blessed existence.

During one of those times of spiritual investigation, I discovered that a verse from the Good Book–where Jesus told his disciples that he was going to heaven tofunny wisdom on words that begin with a C “prepare a place for them,” and that in his Father’s house were “many mansions”–that the use of the word “mansion” did not really mean a huge house with multiple bathrooms and servants. Actually, there are those who feel that the closest translation would be the word “compartment.”

You see, that just makes me laugh.

God is so on point.

The idea that all of us human beings would be able to be anywhere together–even if we were in a glorified state–and have it resemble heaven, is nearly preposterous.

So I think God, in His infinite wisdom, is going to find a space for each one of us that just suits our fancy, while we simultaneously believe we’re interacting with everybody.

I don’t need a mansion–but I would favor a compartment decorated and suited to my personality and whim.

Of course, that’s working on the supposition that such an afterlife exists, and that if it does…some puny soul like me would ever be welcome.

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Cocoon

Cocoon: (v) to protect and surround.

I sometimes giggle when I read an article, and I can immediately tell that the writer has taken ten minutes to look up the subject on Wikipedia and throw in some smart words, so it appears to be a “learned” piece, laced with technological terms.

Today I refrained from doing that.

I think the most interesting thing about each and every one of us is our experience mingled with our ignorance. As long as we know we’re ignorant on certain subjects, it has a certain amount of charm to it.

For instance, I have seen a caterpillar. I have beheld a butterfly. And I know that the stage in between is referred to as a cocoon.

I have had a cocoon pointed out to me, but it was needful because it was so non-descript that I would never have noticed it. After all, there might be a danger in having a bright purple cocoon, lest someone think it’s a beautiful rock, and takes it home, eliminating the possibility for a butterfly.

Whether you believe in God or Nature, you must admit that one of these two, or both of them, are pretty damn smart.

I certainly think it would behoove the human race, instead of sewing wings onto caterpillars, to take some time to cocoon our efforts, our motivations, our desires, our wishes, and our insecurities, so that we can mature into butterflies, instead of pretending we can soar.

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Cliché

Cliché : (n) a phrase or opinion that is overused and betrays a lack of original thought.

Because I write an essay or two or more every day, I’ve learned to avoid clichés. fiancé

I can say “a penny saved is a penny burned.” That’s making fun of a cliché. But to insist that it’s “earned” makes my penning arcane. (similar to using the word “arcane.”)

Yet there are things that have been proclaimed to be clichés which have recently been abandoned by our culture, and need to be returned quickly–before we come apart at the seams.

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Just because it’s been presented for centuries does not mean it has lost the gold in its rule. Simply spoken, the absence of such a cliché is the presence of Earthly mayhem.

How about another one?

“You get more flies with honey than vinegar.”

Have we begun to believe that how we react, think and speak is insignificant? Are we asking the human race that surrounds us to tolerate our mood swings under the guise that if they don’t, they are intolerant? I think there’s a power to being kind. Do you?

“To he who much is given, much is expected.”

Might seem like a cliché–especially since it’s become popular to insist that each of us pull our own load, simulating some sort of unnatural evenness. There are two reasons people don’t have money:

  1. They are poor.
  2. They use money poorly.

It is ludicrous to think they will rise to the occasion and suddenly become prudent with finance. These poor will be with us always and we should do for them what we can–especially if we find that we have a knack of drawing in the bucks.

Yes, there are many clichés that should not be ignored or set aside simply because of their birth date.

They are just old and wizened–not dead and in need of burial.

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Clever

Clever: (adj) quick to understand

I have always contended that the best way to be clever (quick to understand) is to make sure you’re slow to tout your intelligence.

I don’t know why people work so hard to establish that they are smart when being knowledgeable just plays out.

So, avoid making claims in the chill of the moment, which melt in the heat of the day.

I don’t exactly know how to be clever. I get accused of it all the time, and I’ve even had people ask me what the secret is to cleverness. The only response I can give them is, “For God’s sakes–don’t try.”

After all, there is nothing that is less clever than trying to be clever.

It’s awkward.

It’s dopey.

It’s like taking a selfie and pointing out to people how cute you are.

It usually fails miserably, especially when you have to explain your cleverness because it has overshot the comprehension of your audience.

I think clever and cleverness is like dew: get there early, make sure you’re frosty and find a nice spot to let the cool that surrounds you “dew” its stuff.

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Charming

Charming: (adj) pleasant or attractive.

Mr. Webster, please make up your mind.

Is it pleasant, or attractive? Truthfully, the two rarely run races together.

Those who are attractive don’t necessarily feel the need to be pleasant. The absence of pimples and the presence of dimples grants them
license to be just as snooty as they deem necessary.

And those who are not attractive often don the apparel of “pleasant,” to clothe themselves in a righteousness that should be suitable for the runway of life.

So which is it?

I suppose there might be a tiny handful of humans who are attractive and pleasant–which enables them to go into a bar and get a date without buying her a drink.

So I disagree that charming has anything to do with pleasant or attractive. Charming is just damn smart. It’s the realization that not everyone will find you attractive, no matter how much you primp, and being pleasant may be suspicious rather than advantageous.

My definition for charming is finding a way to be sensitive to the moment.

Weep with those who are weeping, rejoice with those who are rejoicing. And stop thinking that God has voted you to be in charge of all moods.

If you are able to sensitize yourself to the situations around you, granting a bit of grace to the emotions that crop up, you will bear fruit in the human family.

 

 

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Brevity

j-r-practix-with-border-2

Brevity: (n) shortness of time.

Brevity is not only the soul of wit, it is also the heart of smart.Dictionary B

It is very important that all the sons and daughters of Earth learn at an early age about the dangers of boredom and how little attention span most people can offer.

When I first started traveling, I assumed that my presentations could last an hour-and-a-half. Even though I was careful to keep things interesting, and even surprising, I quickly discovered that with distraction and a bladder, the human being has limited tolerance for sitting patiently and “receiving.”

Matter of fact, I am frightened to the core of coming across repetitive. I look for any sign that I’ve lost the attention of nearby hearers.

I have even stopped in the middle of a sentence–and no one noticed.

I had to giggle inside, realizing that several paragraphs earlier they had obviously bailed out of the conversation (probably without a parachute).

Are there guidelines to help us avoid being overly talkative?

Here’s a clue: tell a part of the story. Leave it dangling on a cliff. See if anybody demands you continue.

Then create another cliffhanger–always providing an open door for the listener to be satisfied … and move on.

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