Category Archives: A words

Agape

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAgape: (n) Christian love, as distinct from erotic love

I was always told that “agape” was God’s love.

What would that be?

I suppose even if you were an atheist you might like to speculate on what style the mythical figure of God might have when it comes to expressing love.

Of course, it’s popular nowadays to present the love of God as “unconditional.” This might be the same reaction you would receive if you went to a convention of men and asked them if they believed in equal rights for women. The only acceptable answer would be a resounding, “Of course!”

But as often has been expressed through the cliché, “the proof is in the pudding,” it is not what we THINK about love, but how we express it in the moments that are inconvenient that demonstrates its true value. The truth is, no one truly loves me if they allow me to continue destructive behavior which limits my possibilities and jeopardizes my life span.

So does unconditional–or agape–love mean that God smiles on whatever we do and finds some way to adjust His philosophy and Kingdom to our whims? I don’t think even an atheist would contend that such a God would be able to maintain order in His universe under those specifications.

Agape love is set apart as important because it understands weakness, tenderly addresses it, challenges, but never leaves nor forsakes.

That IS quite miraculous.

Normally by the time we are angry at someone, we also have concluded that we are prepared to disassociate from them.

  • Unconditional love is not telling people they are fine the way they are.
  • Unconditional love is sharing your heart with people, expressing your concerns, but remaining.

If we truly taught agape affection, humanity could stop being so defensive, self-protecting, lying and cautious, and begin to believe that nothing can separate them from the tenderness of another.

So I make it clear to the people who I love that I will listen to their dreams and not allow them to stray too far from their aspirations without reminding them of their own hearts. Then, if they don’t want to listen to me, I will settle into a position of presence, without feeling the need to condone.

It IS possible. Until we define unconditional love, we will believe that every time we are challenged, it is rejection.

Rejection does not occur … unless someone stomps away in disapproval.

Against

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Against: (prep.) 1. n opposition to: e.g. the fight against crime 2. in physical contact with: e.g. her back was against the door

I hate malaise.

Malaise is when compromise has left behind a by-product that does not resemble anything we set out to achieve.

Now, I understand the need to collaborate and blend. What I don’t like is losing sight of the beauty of an idea simply to adjourn a meeting to go out for drinks with your buddies.

Occasionally I will get a very astute and intelligent agnostic or atheist, who will ask me how I can maintain belief in a Divine Being, with my level of intelligence. I know they feel they are complimenting me, but they fail to realize that there are certain precepts necessary to energize the human family which cannot be manufactured in the brain of even the most enlightened homo sapien.

Do we need a God to remind us of the god that has been breathed into us, making us aware that we need to be god to one another?

Honestly, even though the Good Book is a very large volume, there are only half a dozen or so ideas within it which set it apart from the average encyclopedia of information, making it eternal rather than a temporary addition to the Best Sellers List. One of those ideas is the concept that “those who are not against us are for us.”

I could never follow a spiritual principle that chose up sides like nasty children on the playground trying to alienate others. I can’t be part of a religion that speculates on the inferiority of others, to further uphold their own superiority.

I love the notion that life is about finding reasons for people to agree with me instead of establishing boundaries for feuds.

I can walk into any room and within ten minutes, uncover areas of mutual fellowship with almost anyone. I suppose if I want to focus on the things I have against them or they against me, we could separate ourselves from one another and be enemies. But having the heartfelt inclination to find points where strangers are the same as me is such an inspired piece of heavenly legislation that I MUST run to the polls and give it my vote.

Those who are not against us are for us.

Nothing progresses in the human circle until we sit down and decide what we want to have for dinner by finding out what we all like. Because forcing peas and carrots on the young ones never turns them into vegetable eaters. Matter of fact, it may turn them into opponents of everything that grows out of the ground.

“Against” is a popular word nowadays. It is the way we define our uniqueness.

Unfortunately, if we continue to pursue it … it may also end up being our epitaph.

Again

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Again: (adv) another time; once more

It’s all about french fries.

For a very brief season, french fries lost their appeal–they became an afterthought: “Would you like fries with that?”

Having already selected my sandwich of choice and determined my milkshake preference, I had french fries thrust upon me by my server, giving me the sensation that they were trapped in the back, toasted brown, desperately lonely. Matter of fact, in that era, not much care was put into them.

They began to taste like fried sticks.

So you had to decide if you were gonna have french fries AGAIN.

You see, the trouble with the word “again” is that it threatens to become repetitive, bringing sameness to our lives, which causes us to become bored, robbing us of entertainment.

Thus french fries.

Matter of fact, I am not sure they could have survived this season of doldrums if someone had not come along to smear them with cheese, bacon, jalapenos, and I don’t know…maybe even whipped cream. Then french fries gained interest because they brought along friends and a fresh outlook. They were welcome–even flirting with the possibility of bumping the main course.

It’s not that there’s anything WRONG with “again,” but normally when we use the word, our voices trail off into the great pit of despair:

  • “I have to go to school … again.”
  • “It’s Sunday morning church … again.”
  • “I’ve been married for thirty years. I guess it’s time to kiss my wife … again.”

If we don’t do something to spice up the side dishes of our lives with innovation and flavor, having something “again” will never be pleasant. It will become the kind of march to blandness that convinces us that we’ve been cheated rather than blessed.

I’m going to write my essay again …but I’m going to make it cheesy and spicy.

Afternoon

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAfternoon: (n) the time from noon or lunchtime to evening.

Here’s a secret: life is about uncovering your delusions and quietly correcting them before they smack you in the face.

All of us are delusional.

The difference between success and failure is whether you acknowledge your delusion, hunt down these little pieces of silliness in your soul and extract them before they diminish your true opportunities.

Let us deal with the delusion of “afternoon.”

An interesting quandary: lots of people hate the morning, insisting they aren’t “morning people,” and also would not consider doing anything in the evening, since it’s their “free time.” So they put tremendous pressure on the afternoon, when they have the least  amount of energy and possibilities, and the fewest contacts with people who are awake and ready to indulge in commerce.

Can there be a worse time to do business than from 1:00 P.M. to 4:00 P.M.? Successful people already started the ball rolling in the morning, and those who love the evening hours approach the afternoon as if it WERE morning.

You find yourself in a no man’s land.

Now, you can feel free to disagree with this assessment, and some of you probably will. But here’s what I have found to be intelligent: whether you like it or not, the morning is when things happen. If you get over the delusion that you cannot function in those early, waking hours, you can learn to take your day on and use the afternoon in a more Mexican light.

Use it for a siesta.

Since most people slow down after lunch because of high blood sugar and general fatigue, as much as you can, try to bring less importance to the afternoon and more value to it as personal time.

For instance, I take a nap.

Having risen early in the morning to write, do commerce and take care of personal affairs, after lunch I allow myself the great delight of snuggling and snoozing. When I arise in the late afternoon, I am ready for a second bout with the day, usually involving more time with friends and family.

If you live for the night you will become a vampire and suck out your own blood.

But if you live for the afternoon, you will wonder why there isn’t much business or activity going on.

If you live for the morning, you will overcome your fear of scrambled eggs and find that there are many other people, industrious in nature and wise in discovery … who will meet you there.

Afterlife

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAfterlife: (prep) 1. life after death 2. later life e.g. they spent most of their afterlife trying to forget the fire.

There is a certain presumption to the idea of heaven which often makes me uncomfortable. It’s this notorious notion that we can live a meager existence, fraught with fault, indecision and selfishness, and because God in heaven has granted us salvation, we will suddenly be translated into eternal, enlightened creatures.

I always wonder what people would think if heaven ended up just being their life–except maybe moving it to Hawaii. In other words, just a little better surroundings, but you bring your furniture.

What if heaven is not a relief of our pain, but instead, an individualized celebration of our discoveries on Earth? What if the misery we have claimed as our own is not alleviated, but instead, continued–just surrounded by hula girls and beaches?

Would the change in surroundings be enough to make us enjoy our choices better?

It’s confounding–because everything on earth works with a delicate balance of effort, patience and grace.

  • Effort in the sense that I actually show up and do my best
  • Patience because good things sometimes take a while
  • And grace because God, in His mercy, grants it to those who are truly humble

How can there be an afterlife if there wasn’t first a life?

If we offer a meager resume to the heavenly corporation, why do we think we are up for a promotion?

Well, you can believe what you want to believe. I think there’s a four-step process to making a life which would make any kind of afterlife absolutely delectable:

  1. Find what you can do.
  2. Do it well.
  3. Get better
  4. Help somebody.

This is the life I choose–and if I were asked to continue it in another place … I would be overjoyed to do so.

 

Afro

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

 

Afro: (n) a hairstyle with very tight curls that sticks out all around the head, like the natural hair of some black people

James was black.

Nothing truly significant can be ascertained without this fact. I do not bring this up because his skin color made him superior OR inferior to anyone else. It just gave him different hair.

James worked for me for a while–matter of fact, lived in my house. It was a rather communal setup, so we shared food, toothpaste, and even hair products.

James was very gentlemanly. It was several weeks of quiet displeasure on his part before I noticed his disgruntled spirit.

I was a bit perturbed so I asked what the problem was. His response was standard.  “Nothing.”

Of course, he knew that his “nothing” was really NOT nothing, and he hoped that I would pursue his “nothing” by trying to find something out. So I did.

“No, no,” I continued. “What’s up?”

After a few more overtures of encouragement, he released his burden. He explained that his hair was not like my hair, and that my “white people” shampoo and conditioner was killing his follicles. I produced a quizzical look, as paler brothers often do.

He asked me to feel his hair–and I discovered it was rather bristly and dry. He explained in vivid detail that his afro, which was very fashionable for the time, needed to be conditioned with the kinds of oil that I would probably find to be greasy, but his hair found necessary.

I think he thought I would be critical, since the idea of purchasing additional products would be expensive, but stepping out of my Anglo-Saxon world and putting down my mace and Viking horns, I agreed. Matter of fact, he took me with him to the store to purchase his items, and even though they tallied up to quite a sum, they made James happy. They also gave a tremendous shine and bounce to his afro.

I learned a lot that day. Even though afros are not as prevalent as they were when James and I were working together, I understood–and I understand now–that what’s good for one person’s do is a don’t for others.

Africa

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

 

Africa: the second-largest continent, a southward projection of the Old World land mass divided roughly in half by the equator and surrounded by sea except where the Isthmus of Suez joins it to Asia.

I am shocked.

I sat down to write a clever essay on today’s word, Africa. when I dug into my Middle-America, middle-class, middle-intelligent and middle-conscience mind,  all I was able to conjure were images which I must be honest and tell you, seem quite racist.

Because when I think of Africa, I think of missionaries, cannibals, lions, monkeys, tribal rituals, Apartheid, jungles, Serengeti, antelopes being chased and killed, and people with black skin talking with extremely articulate British accents.

I thought about trying to come up with something different, pretending that I am cultured and aware of modern Africa and the progress the people have made. Or tip my hat to the notion that Africa is the “mother land of the whole human race,” but I realized it would be phony, and I would just be another American trying to appear that I am free of prejudice, when the truth is that, contrary to that fact, the continent reminds me of Tarzan and Jane.

I do not think we become better people by hiding our iniquity.

I do not think that I can fool you into believing I am a cosmopolitan world traveler who is free of my Central Ohio upbringing, and still walk away with a pure soul.

Here’s what I WILL say about Africa: most of what I learned as a child about this magnificent continent had something to do with either the zoo or the Zulu.

No one took the time to teach me anything else.

So even though I am grown and people insist that I’m set in my ways, I am unsettled enough to accept this meager representation of a great history and people. So I apologize for my lacking by trying to increase. Now that I have been alerted to my limitation, I will attempt to expand my borders.

We will never know what Africa could truly be today because it was invaded, attacked and robbed of its citizenry by white people who thought they were better.

I am an ancestor of such folk. For this I apologize.

But the best way I can express my contrition is by continuing to learn instead of assume.

 

Afresh

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Afresh: (adv.) in a new or different way: e.g. she left her job to start afresh.

Nobody walks out of the shower and says, “That should take care of that once and for all.”

Much as we are relieved to have our armpits “afresh” and all our other crevices carefully cleaned, we are fully cognizant that the same fastidious care needs to be done again very soon.

Why? Because we get dirty.

Why is it that we understand this when it comes to bodily hygiene, but we don’t recognize the same truth in regard to the other portions of our lives?

Why do we think that politics, relationships, sexuality, intelligence, religion, talent and manners don’t require the same “showering” and “afreshing?”

Why are some things viewed as traditional and therefore etched in stone, and our bathroom time is seen as a temporary solution to a permanent problem?

There is nothing in my life that I am not constantly trying to start afresh.

  • If I were involved in politics, I would leave for Congress a half hour early, and walk through the Lincoln Memorial every day, to remind myself why in the hell I ran for office in the first place.
  • It doesn’t hurt me at all to pull out wedding pictures and memorabilia of when I was younger, a little crazier, but maybe much more intent on romantic interest with my partner.
  • In the church, if we did more field trips out into the world to help people instead of chewing the fat about our opinions concerning the Bible, might we discover that our faith would be afreshed?

Over and over again, in each situation, coming back to the excitement we experienced in the first place is necessary in order to shower us with the blessings instead of having to complain about the rain.

If we don’t become afresh with newness, we will “age out” everything in our lives, leaving our emotions decrepit instead of well-expressed.

I don’t plan on giving up washing myself.

I also have no intention of ceasing to question my beliefs and actions … to find new and better reasons for pushing forward.

Afraid

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

 

Afraid: (adj.) feeling fear or anxiety; frightened.

 It was my favorite shirt.

I was nineteen years old and it was during the era of the counter-culture—hippies, rock and roll … well, you know the groove.

It was gray and had embroidered white velvet flowers on it.

I loved it.

It was almost too small for me, so depending on whether I was in one of my puffy weeks or thinning days, I could sit down wearing it with spreading buttons or with more comfort.

I didn’t care. I worshipped it.

I wore it at least five times a week. My criterion for deciding whether to don it in the morning was sniffing under the armpits to ascertain the intensity of its lethal nature.

One day I noticed that some of the threads on the bottom of the shirt had come loose. I didn’t think much about it. I just pulled on them and tore them off. After about two weeks of doing this, I realized that my shirt was no longer shedding threads, but had actually torn and was practically ruined.

At that juncture, somebody pointed out that if I had sewn up the bottom of the shirt instead of pulling on the threads, the problem would have been solved and I would still have my garment. (I continued to wear it in its dilapidated condition until one day I was walking down the street and a guy handed me two dollars, thinking I was homeless…)

The reason I share this story is that being afraid is a lot like being a-frayed.

Our threads come loose and we yank on them, pull at them, deny our feelings and pretend everything is all right until we have no opportunities left and we stand, clothed in unrighteousness.

Yes, afraid is when we refuse to sow up our fears and tie up our worries and instead, allow them to destroy everything we like. And even when we use noble words like “responsibility,” “concern,” “involvement,” “anxious,” or in some cases, even “wondering”—we’re just masking the monster.

I lost the shirt off my back because it was “a-frayed.”

If I become too afraid—well … I can lose my own soul.

 

Afoul

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Afoul: (adv.) into conflict or difficulty with. e.g. she ran afoul of her boss.

I think I would be upset if I were a chicken.

I know the word isn’t spelled the same–but normally if the word “foul” is used without a football field  nearby, one gets the image of a “clucker.”

But as I think about it, other animals suffer from us humans characterizing them in a negative light. Because even though your local hen has to live under the subjugation of the term “afoul,” the cow has to cringe every time we say we have “a beef” with someone. Not to mention when we scream at an adversary, “That’s bull!”

Likewise, if someone is acting shady or dishonest, we refer to him or her as a “weasel.” Or if they’ve succeeded in weaseling us and pulling the wool over our eyes (there’s another one!) we say they’ve “out-foxed us.”

The pig becomes the symbol for obesity by being “a porker.”

And men are often referred to as “dogs” in a very derogatory sense–even though we believe the creature to be a best friend.

But I think the chicken suffers the most with “afoul,” don’t you?

So not to become some sort of PETA zealot, I do feel empathy for my fellow-earth-creatures who are unable to speak for themselves and express their displeasure over our characterizations.

After all, we also insult amphibians sitting on their lily pads by referring to our death as “croaking.”