Beyond

Beyond: (prep) to the further side of.

Dictionary B

I find myself taking some time off from touring to visit family.

I am told that this is meant to be a pleasant excursion, and there are pleasurable interludes within the available experience.

But I think America’s obsession with family is a ploy to avoid dealing with the world as our brothers and sisters, attempting to limit life to a much smaller Christmas list.

When I arrived in town, I curtailed my expectation–knowing that my children are all grown, have lives of their own, and are not constantly wondering what I might be feeling or thinking about any given situation.

I used to be Lord of the Manor, and now I am basically the gardener.

It’s not really a demotion–just an honorary position given to the retiring parent who is still permitted to be the groundskeeper.

So I’ve spent the week thinking about the word “beyond.”

  • What is beyond my scope?
  • What is beyond my ability?
  • What is beyond my interest?
  • What is beyond my business?

It is a fascinating series of questions which avail me of great understanding–as long as I don’t accidentally become too introspective or trip over my pouty lip.

The best thing to do as you get older is focus on your own life and let your children do the same. Every once in a while, they’ll pull out a photo album, remember a former time, become nostalgic and call you on the phone.

The key is to make sure you’re available.

Beyond that is beyond reason.

 

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Bewitch

Bewitch: (v) to cast a spell on and gain control over someone.

Dictionary B

If a mean, dark genie with sinister plans came and asked me to raise a child and to make sure that the young human life would end up being evil, I would use two bewitching tools: I would teach the young person that fighting was demanded and that lying is necessary.

It is the formula for birthing a scoundrel.

These two factors determine the peace we release or the greed we breed.

For if I can convince anybody they need to fight and that lying is an option … I usher them to the doorway of their ultimate disgrace.

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Bewilder

Bewilder: (v) to cause someone to become perplexed and confused.

Dictionary B

Every situation has to come to a head or we won’t find the brain.

One of my most shocking realizations was that the Hollywood endings I saw in the movies, where everybody reconciles with one another and there’s a sense of joy and peace, was just pure hogwash.

Feuds, grudges, hurt feelings and misrepresentations continue to exist and even thrive until we confront them and risk the possibility that we might make the situation even worse.

It is bewildering.

It bewilders me that we think living a passive-aggresive existence, where we create universal niceties to say to one another’s faces while simultaneously dredging up old manure from the sewer of our past to share in private moments, is actually an acceptable lifestyle.

To bewilder is to stymie human thinking with something that generates fear or confusion.

We cannot continue to think that the wounded parts of our being can heal without treatment.

I have several “relationships” in my life which are no more than uneasy truces.

  • They are evil.
  • They are dark.
  • They are sinister.
  • And they are dangerous.

They bewilder me because I passively agree to ignore the obvious aggression.

Will I continue to be so foolish?

If I’m not, I risk coming across as cantankerous and confrontational.

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Beware

Beware: (v) to be cautious and alert to the dangers of.

Dictionary BDanger should be dangerous.

We can’t call it “danger” simply because it’s intimidating, ominous, unusual, separate, different or innovative.

When we do that, we become prejudiced instead of prepared.

So what is dangerous?

I think if you broaden your definition of “dangerous” any further than explaining it to be “that which kills you,” then you are certainly communicating your willingness to expand the fear base in your life. In an age when we should be shrinking fear because of the tremendous availability of communication, we seem to be actually increasing our aggravations in order to give us purpose in life or conversation with our fellow scaredy-cats.

Of what should we beware?

I’m certain that discussion would have many hours of implications and derivations. But I think we need to understand that perhaps the greatest thing to beware of in our lives … is the unnecessary need to beware.

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Beverage

Beverage: (n) a drink, especially other than water

Dictionary BPerhaps one of the more valuable parts of my mission of writing this daily essay using the language that Webster offers to us is that I can occasionally warn you about words that should never be used.

I’m not going to make a comprehensive list right now, but instead, will use today’s choice as an example of such a misstep.

May it be declared from the Heavens and enacted upon the Earth that the word “beverage” should never be spoken aloud, at least in the Continental United States.

It is one of those words that makes it appear that you’re either very insecure about your education, or you are determined to pick obscure terms in order to make yourself look like the long-lost noble son of the Russian throne.

Beverage is not a word.

It is what we shall call an anti-word.

An anti-word is something that comes out of our mouths which we thought would communicate our sophistication, but instead leaves the room bewildered, perplexed or pissed off because we are acting superior.

You can feel free to say, “Do you want a Coke?” (That works really well in the South.)

I suppose it’s tolerable to say, “Would you like a soda?” (Even though in the North, “pop” is preferred.)

But the safest thing to ask is, “Would you like something to drink?”

So if we’re beginning a list of forbidden terms, let us start off with the word “beverage.”

Because quite honestly, anyone who asks me if “I want a beverage”… just might be training to be a serial killer.

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Between

Between: (prep) the space separating two objects.

I spend most of my life “between.”Dictionary B

And it certainly isn’t between a rock and a hard place. (What a self-piteous scrap of frumpy thinking…)

Actually, the choices afforded me are matters that I consider easy, or options that loom in the distance, appearing to be hard.

If I develop a lifestyle of choosing only the easy possibilities, I will always wonder what I missed, or will wear out the patience of simplicity.

On the other hand, if I project myself to be adventurous and always select from the menu of the more arduous entrees, I may just end up in a bunch of Herculean tasks–with indigestion.

Since I live my life between, I certainly should build a home there–a place where I am satisfied to be challenged by new ideas, as I also add a bit of spice to my common daily gruel.

Yes, human life is about learning how to be content and overjoyed with the decor of the modicum, yet knowing when to wisely move from “between” … to the next castle in the sky.

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Betterment

Betterment: (n) the act or process of improving something.

I spend a lot of time considering the difference between the words “satisfied” and “content.”Dictionary B

Although I am sure others could come along with much better analysis of the situation, I believe the true way to live a full and abundant life is to be content while you pursue better ways to be satisfied.

If I’m going to wait for others to point out my weaknesses, my lacking will be so obvious that I more than likely will be overwhelmed with the option to improve–or worse, offended that these critics have challenged my holy turf.

That’s why I hired Jack-o.

Jack-o is my invisible friend who comes along with me on my journey to remind me of better ways to do things when I start compromising or settling for mediocre choices.

I make sure that Jack-o is fairly nice–even comical–so my feelings don’t get hurt. But he is there, poking me in the side, telling me that the second mile is ahead, and is only 5,280 feet away.

He wants my betterment.

He keeps me from being subject to the microscope of those who would love to disembowel my efforts.

He is my best friend.

And even though he occasionally arrives with an opinion when I am tired or frustrated, I am still grateful for the input … and benefitted by the counsel.

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Better Half

Better half: (n) a person’s wife, husband, or partner.

Dictionary B

I am willing to giggle at silly things until they become dangerously stupid or prejudiced.

I have gone to a comedy club and heard a black comedian joke about his heritage and community and laughed along with him, realizing that if the jokes were told by someone with a more pale complexion, they would be radically bigoted.

But I have grown weary of the ignorance being promoted in our society by the little quips thrown out by men and women, seemingly attempting to praise the other, while obviously lamenting a hidden dilemma.

Things like:

  • “Women are smarter than men.”
  • Or “I do what she says.”
  • Or “I’ll have to check with my wife.”
  • Or the notorious aside: “This is my better half.”

Actually, men and women are so ill-suited in their naturally confused culture of gender bias, that they should be quarantined from one another.

Because the true better half of both men and women is the soul.

The heart and the mind are in great conflict: the heart feels, the brain pumps out training.

When that happens, you have the climate for war.

It is in the soul that we find the arbiter.

It is the soul that says, “We have more in common than difference.”

The soul tells us, “Nothing can separate us from the love of God.”

The soul gently nudges us to realize that “in the Kingdom of God, there is neither male nor female.”

My wife is not my better half.

But we have a chance of getting along with each other when we allow our souls to enlighten us … and alleviate the half-witted skirmish between our hearts and our brains.

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Better

Better: (adj) an improvement on an existing or previous level or achievement.

Dictionary B

“Better” is in the probing of the critic.

It immediately has sprouts weaknesses:

  1. It has us probing and over-analyzing the good things of life,
  2. And it makes us believe that we are viable or possibly more intelligent by being critical.

Matter of fact, to gain the approval of everyone in the room, all you have to opine is, “I want to get better.”

I suppose it’s because each one of us is intoxicated by the notion of becoming the best. That solitary position, afforded to the individual or even the team that acquires the top position, seems to drive us to the exhaustion of hurrying and worrying.

When is enough, enough?

When do you finish making a great meal, sit down and just enjoy it instead of musing, “You know what this needs?”

When can you have great love-making, and just lay back in ecstasy instead of contemplating the next “better position?”

And when will we finally look across the terrain of our present landscape and point out the attractions that are filled with promise instead of gazing off in the distance, believing there should be more?

Better is an anxious word.

It is filled with dissatisfaction and it often makes us believe that we can do more than we’re actually able to accomplish.

It aggravates the saint and condemns the sinner.

Even though I will probably fall under the spell of those who want to better everything within their purview, for the time being–at least for today–I will enjoy all that I have that is good.

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Betrothed

Betrothed: (n) the person to whom one is engaged.

Dictionary B

The pride that we have over our sophistication is not only comical but often ill-placed.

We have the most intricate system for pairing people into committed relationships that has ever been devised in the history of bipeds with brains.

Yet we also have the highest divorce rate.

So do we question this system of placing the entire experience of choosing a mate based on the level of our interest and financial security?

No. We continue to chase down love haphazardly.

Simultaneously, cultures which pair off individuals in pre-arranged marriages don’t fare any worse than we do. Do you know why?

It’s because marriage has nothing to do with love.

Hell, if we’re going to make this planet work, we all have to learn to love one another. (But that doesn’t mean you’ll exchange body fluids with the population as a whole.)

Marriage requires three unique impositions:

1. “I’m not going anywhere.”

If you believe that separation and divorce are options in your relationship, you will eventually pursue one of them. There is a power in thinking that we possess the intelligence to solve our problems.

2. “I am not satisfied with myself.”

Although it is very popular to be self-satisfied, trying to sell this to another person who sees you every day is ridiculous.

  • I need someone to help me overcome my demons.
  • I need a friend who will see those demons and not run away in terror.
  • And I need a cohort who will not be too judgmental when I invite my demons back in for a one-night stand.

3. Be prepared to laugh all the time.

Most arguments begin because we decide to defend or discuss stupidity instead of laughing at it.

Humor is what makes sex excellent. Since it is such a silly little practice, which is accomplished just as well among the monkeys, we dare not view it as serious or overly spiritual, or we become notoriously foolish.

I don’t care whether you date for fourteen years or if you met each other fourteen minutes ago.

“I’m not going anywhere, I’m not satisfied with myself and I’m prepared to laugh” is what makes betrothal be-workable.

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