Tag Archives: financial

Countdown

Countdown: (n) backward counting

At one time—I believe it was September 17th, 1988—it was contended that the world was supposed to end.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Then there was the rumor, based on the Mayan Calendar, that time would cease on 12/12/2012.

Yesterday, while watching TV, I was informed by a young scholar that the Earth has thirteen years left before it turns on us and exterminates all humanity.

No matter how much we try to turn the conversation to possibilities, joy and the general good cheer of common labor, there are just too many people determined to participate in a countdown to destruction.

Religious people think Jesus is going to come back to judge the quick and the dead, establishing his kingdom on Earth.

Environmentalists proclaim that the oceans will rise, and the weather will become so unpredictable that finding a place to dwell in the dwindling landscape will turn us all into barbarians.

Other people have financial countdowns.

But for some reason we seem determined to destroy our home—or at least talk about its doom in great detail.

It’s why a great man once said that the end of the world is known only to God, and Him alone. God doesn’t get drunk and share it with someone else. It really is on the downlow.

Because as nasty as we can be, thinking we have many more years to live, we all could become insanely possessed with our own survival if we literally had a clock ticking toward oblivion.


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Consignment

Consignment: (n) agreement to pay a supplier of goods after the goods are sold.

There are three of them.

Yes, three different interactions with human beings that are disconcerting because they require a certain amount of trust in a stranger, which seems completely irrational.

May I start with a car mechanic? I don’t care who he knows, who knows you or who knows him.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

When you are bringing your vehicle in to be checked over, you are walking in the assumption that this attendant standing before you, glibly relating what has befallen your transportation, is speaking the truth.

Now why would he do that?

We don’t trust anybody else that much.

If you live in a household with children, you don’t bake three dozen chocolate chip cookies without finding a really good hiding place. Even though they’re your children and you’re supposed to trust them, you don’t.

But we take our cars–and put them in consignment–to a complete stranger under the assumption that he is going to love that four wheels as much as we do, and for some reason, give us a good, jim-dandy deal.

Secondly, a pawn shop. I suppose if you get desperate enough to go and pawn something, it may not really matter if it works out well in the end. Survival may be so important in the moment that considering future moments might be irrelevant.

But what’s to keep a pawn shop guy from tearing up your ticket, selling your thing, making some profit and then pretending he never even saw you before?

So to a certain degree, we consign to this broker virtue that just may not exist–because we are desperate to receive a financial fraction of what our item is worth.

And of course, finally and obviously, there is the actual consignment store. You bring in your clothes or your used appliances, and they agree to set them out for people to buy–and later they present you with a check. And you have no idea if it represents any fair portion of the amount for which they sold your treasure.

So please don’t come to me and say that you have difficulty putting your faith in your loved ones or your trust in God.

For any person who will believe a mechanic, a pawn shop broker or a consignment store owner, should believe everybody

 

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Brainwash

j-r-practix-with-border-2

Brainwash: (v) to make someone adopt radically different beliefs by force

If you happen to be a person who believes in God and the teachings of the Old and New Testament, you might have an understanding of what leads people astray and causes them to follow the most ridiculous ideas with subservient reverence.Dictionary B

For after all, the first brainwasher was referred to as a “serpent,” and he hung out in a garden called Eden.

He possessed a total understanding of the psyche of the human being. He realized you could get people to do almost anything if you offered them two advantages.

Number One: “What I’m about to give you is going to make you live a long time. You’re not gonna die. You’re going to bury all your friends, and you’ll have enough energy to till your garden and dance at your great-granddaughter’s wedding.”

Number Two: “If you will just trust me, you’re going to become smart. Smarter than everyone around you–superior. SO smart that you will be considered wise.”

Throughout history, promises of immortality and supreme intelligence have caused the human race to chase all sorts of devils–political, religious, financial, academic and even Mum and Pop.

Yes, we all become brainwashed when we believe that we control all the aspects of our mortality, or we feel the desperate need to be smarter than everyone else.

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Beseech

Beseech: (v) to ask someone urgently and fervently to do something

Dictionary B

I beseech politicians to answer the question and then offer explanation instead of the other way around.

I beseech women to stop thinking they are smarter by treating men like they’re dumb.

I beseech men to stop acting dumb while secretly relegating women to a secondary position.

I beseech religion to start believing that God is our Father and therefore does not want to hurt us.

I beseech business to perfect the product before inflating the price.

I beseech parents to create a balance of responsibility and blessing for their children.

I beseech the military to be so prepared and so powerful that they don’t ever have to actually prove their worth.

I beseech educators to teach a balance of humility with information, since we are constantly learning things that contradict our arrogance.

I beseech those who are blessed to imagine what it is like to be without such a courtesy before deciding to judge weaker brothers.

I beseech the homeless to organize and simplify their lives to match their financial intake.

I beseech those who offer counsel to do so with an eye on their own weaknesses instead of merely poring over the philosophies of psychologists.

I beseech humanity to step far enough out of the jungle to plant a garden.

I beseech myself to remember all these things that I have beseeched from others.

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Annuity

dictionary with letter A

Annuity: (n) a fixed sum of money paid to someone each year, typically for the rest of his or her life.

In my saner moments–in other words, when I’m more sane–I actually come to conclusions that are factual instead of impudent.

Because when I read the definition of “annuity,” I thought how wonderful it would be to have somebody who would present me with a check on January 1st which would cover my expenses and frivolous notions for an entire calendar year.

Trying to be noble, I would say that this would make me more productive because the fear of financial failure would be lifted from my shoulders.

But then candor enters my tattered soul and I have to admit that this would make me nothing but lazy.

  • After all, without a bit of uncertainty, I don’t work as hard.
  • Without a tinge of peril to my health, I might stop eating vegetables.
  • Without some insecurity about my love relationships, I might doze off on my commitments and cease to be interactive with the kind souls around me.

Yes, even though I don’t want to admit it, I am a better human being because things are occasionally screwed up. Not only are they defiled by my efforts, but many of them are ruined by my friends, associates and just flukes of nature.

I become more proficient and appreciative because I have to adjust and correct errors. Sometimes jubilance comes to my heart because I have miraculously figured out how to make ten dollars work like twelve.

Without this, I become a “kept man,” a prisoner to the generosity of others instead of the beneficiary of my own talent.

So even though I am not so virtuous as to turn down such an annuity if it was offered to me (hint, hint) I am fully prepared on this lovely day, to concede … that I am better off without it. 

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