Tag Archives: stupid

BS

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BS: (n) Bull shit

I think it’s wrong to blame bulls.

They eat and they secrete.

For us to tie all of our human foibles, inconsistencies and hypocrisies to their dung is flat-out insulting.Dictionary B

I’m not a lawyer and do not represent any bulls in particular, but I will tell you–the atrocities, stupidities and half-truths produced in our society are human shit.

It’s not like bull shit. It doesn’t come out in perfectly formed turds.

It’s dumped in varieties of personalized, steamy piles, often expressed with diarrhea of the mouth.

It is unique to our species because it is individualized by our diet of morality, spirituality and compassion.

Bulls have never done anything to us.

What I experience every day is human shit: the thought people have that they might be able to get by with what they say and do because everyone around them … is stupider than they are.

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Boob

Boob: (n) a foolish or stupid person.

If there was ever any doubt that male chauvinism is ensconced in the culture of the American public, one need go no further than to consider the word “boob.”Dictionary B

It has two meanings, which should not necessarily coincide or even ever bump up against each other in the night.

After all, a boob is someone who is completely disconnected with reality, and is intoxicated on the fumes of idealism.

It is also a common, though crude, reference to the female breast.

It is not much of a drive on the highway of reason to realize that we believe that most pernicious air-headedness is contained in the female of our species.

This is one of those subtle clues which lets us know that even though we muster the faith and energy to tolerate one another for sexual purposes, procreation or even mutual responsibility for a mortgage, privately the war between men and women is conducted with jabs, often disguised as innocence.

 

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Blunder

Blunder: (n) a stupid or careless mistake.Dictionary B　

The human race is constantly coming up with more gentle terms to cushion the word “failure.”

If we think we have been outstanding, “victory” or “success” seem to cover it well. But when some error occurs, the degree of severity has to be tenderized by the selection of the appropriate word.

Sometimes we’ll start off by saying, “It was a misunderstanding.”

Or “We misspoke.”

Occasionally we work up the courage to pronounce our last effort “a mistake.”

But it’s very unusual for human beings to be so forthcoming as to admit a blunder.

Other words avoided are “fiasco, a big pile of poop, idiotic”… and of course, the more truthful and cleansing pronouncement:

I fucked up.

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Blot

Blot: (n) a dark mark or stain

Dictionary B

It was a typical piece of white typing paper.

I didn’t even look at it.

I stuck it into the tray of my printer and Xeroxed a copy of some document that seemed pertinent in the moment.

I pulled it out, looked at it, and suddenly saw this tiny black dot in the corner.

I didn’t give it a second thought. Who cares about a blot? Nobody will notice. It doesn’t make any difference.

If I pass it off as a clean sheet of paper, I can probably fool people into believing it’s just fine and there was really no blot there in the first place.

But after ten minutes, I took the paper, wadded it up and threw it away.

Why? Because someone will always see the blot and wonder if I was so stupid I missed it, or so careless that I thought it didn’t matter

 

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Blockhead

Blockhead: (n) a stupid person.

Dictionary B

  • I have been stupid.
  • I am presently stupid but unaware.
  • I will certainly be stupid again.

If you find fault with these ideas, then you are susceptible to being a blockhead.

Blockheads are people who are convinced that their concrete thinking is safe and reasonable, only to discover that they are out of step with reality and condemned by common sense.

So if you are looking for companionship, fellowship, relationship or any particular boat to take you across the sea of difficulty–or tranquility–keep in mind that intelligent people are fully aware of three abiding truths:

1. I am capable of being wrong.

2. Since I know that, I’m looking for ways to catch myself before “stupid” throttles me.

3. I am so busy with my own “stupid” that I must trust that you will take care of yours.

If you are with people who do not believe these three things, be prepared to constantly take your pickaxe of argument to their blockhead of stubbornness.

 

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Birdbrain

Birdbrain: (n) an annoyingly stupid and shallow person

Dictionary BIn the sneaky cult of male chauvinism, the term “birdbrain” has been given the general definition of referring to a person who is flighty–while we secretly know that in the realm of those who possess penises, we are always referring to women.

Matter of fact, I cannot think of an occasion of hearing a man called a birdbrain.

It is an insult that lacks the intelligence of true data.

Let us look at birds:

1. They can fly.

If they did nothing else but that, they would literally rise above our abilities.

2. Many of them have the sense to fly south for the winter, which does not occur to most humans until they hit their sixties.

3. They can build a home out of twigs and belly button lint, when we must go to a bank and pay exorbitant interest rates to achieve brick and mortar.

4. They can convince their children to eat worms, when we are incapable of getting our offspring to swallow one sliver of broccoli.

These are just a few things that immediately come to mind which tell me that negatively discussing those who freely fly above our heads exhibits our ignorance and jealousy, all at the same time.

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Basic

Basic: (adj) forming an essential foundation or starting point; fundamental.Dictionary B

Occasionally I make the brave journey onto the Web to look at what people are saying, thinking and doing.

I discovered an interesting trend.

We have become a nation which is obsessed with complicating and bitching. Sometimes we blend the two.

We bitch about how complicated things are, or we go into complicated explanations about the source of our bad attitude and bitching.

I saw a blog advertising an article entitled, “28 Ways to Make Your Life Better.”

28??

If someone gave you a recipe and told you there were 28 ingredients, would you prepare it?

Thus the popularity of hot dogs: put dogs in sauce pan with water, turn on heat, boil on high for three minutes, take off the stove, bon appetit!

Perhaps we’re just afraid of going back to the basics.

  • Do people think it makes them look shallow or stupid?
  • Do we fear we will be perceived as old-fashioned?

But since I fear that complexity will make me look like a simpleton, and simplicity has the potential of graduating me to genius, let me tell you the three basics of life that will get you through almost every situation. (I must apologize–there are not 28.)

But here we go:

  1. Try to be nice to people. And if you can’t, leave the room.
  2. Don’t lead with bragging. Humbly lead with your talent, taking a lower seat so that people can call you up to a higher place.
  3. Don’t buy, eat or pursue anything just because it’s popular. Stand back for a moment, wait, and see if it explodes, gives indigestion or suddenly plummets in following.

Basic.

It’s not called “basic” because it’s less–it’s called “basic” because it’s been around for a long time, and has proven its quality to be more.

 

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Balm

Balm:(n) a fragrant ointment or preparation used to heal or soothe the skin.Dictionary B

Dried out.

The skin begins to flake and fall off because of a lack of moisture.

Got it. Some lotion, or balm, is very helpful. You also might want to drink some water.

But in like manner, our society is dried out. Pardon the expression, but we’ve become quite flaky.

To sit around and discuss the condition or lament our dryness seems futile.

We need a balm–something to spread all over us which will moisturize us and make us pliable to reason and willing to at least consider the truth. Those noble souls who are willing to bring that ointment to our society will certainly be doing the work of the angels.

So what is the balm?

I will give you a little secret. There are two things you can do which totally change the complexion of the human beings around you:

Don’t worry.

Don’t hurry.

Everything bad that happens in our lives occurs because we are worrying or complaining when opportunity knocks on the door, or we’re in such a hurry that we make stupid mistakes.

It’s no more complicated than that.

If you’re going to spend all your time hurrying to solve a problem that’s come up and the rest of the time, worrying about the next problem around the corner, you will be undesirable and a real flake.

Just bringing a non-worrisome attitude without hurrying is a balm of healing to our times.

  • Stop preaching.
  • Stop praying so much.
  • Stop trying to find the new solution to the old problem.

Don’t worry. Don’t hurry.

You will anoint every situation with newness … and bring “fresh skin” to the human race.

 

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Backward

Backward: (adj) having made less than normal progress.Dictionary B

They are the two “S words” slung by liberals and conservatives at one another to degrade the character of the opponent, rendering them emotionally mortally wounded.

For it is the liberal who declares that the conservative is “stupid,” and the conservative who insists that the liberal is “sinful.”

I, for one, am weary of the ill-doing.

As a soul who travels the country in search of my lost innocence, I encounter people of every persuasion. There are foreign nationals, natural-born Americans, religious types, atheists, female, macho men and children of all shapes, sizes and dispositions.

I don’t find those who are politically bent towards the right to necessarily be stupid, nor do I find the “left-turn crowd” to be wracked with sin. Conservatives are not backwards and liberals are not forwards.

Actually, the human race is divided between those who are humble enough to give a damn and those who believe there is no one beyond tip of their nose.

I have members of my family who are convinced that anyone who lives south of the Mason Dixon line is buried deep within the intellectual groin of our country.

And I do meet people living in more reclusive areas who are sure that the politicians in Washington, D.C. who do not place an “R” after their name are Satan’s imps.

So my mission is simple: ignore the titles and deal with the hearts.

Because if there is a Judgment Day that comes along, none of us will be able to produce any of our pedigrees, but instead will be stuck with our deeds.

And my understanding of the Judge is that He has great mercy for those who believe that no one is better than anyone else.

 

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Axle

Axle: (n) a rod or spindle (either fixed or rotating) passing through the center of a wheel or group of wheels.dictionary with letter A

If I weren’t stupid, I would have no stories to tell. Smart people have a list of accomplishments instead of tales of mayhem.

I was a mere 24 years old and driving along in an airport limousine that looked like it should have been used in a 1940 Clark Gable movie. It had six seats in it, dual air conditioning units, and even had a metal cage in the rear to protect the luggage.

It was the most unpredictable vehicle I have ever driven.

First and foremost, you could not drive over 55 miles per hour because of some sort of “governor” they had placed on the engine.

But I was grateful to have it so that my singing group could travel across the country and annoy people with our increasing prowess.

One night as we were leaving Jacksonville, Florida, we noticed that the back passenger-side wheel was wobbling a bit. These are things a normal adult would be concerned about, but not a 24-year-old vagabond.

To counteract the wobbly wheel, I tried to drive faster. Suddenly I looked in my rear-view mirror and noticed that the back of the limousine was lighting up.

This seemed unusual.

So I pulled over and discovered that the rear of the vehicle was on fire.

I did have enough mechanical understanding to recognize that this fire was very near the gas tank, so I got the members of the group out, and we ran about a hundred yards away and watched it burn.

I thought about doing something brave, like taking off my shirt and beating out the flames, or trying to acquire some water from a nearby ditch to extinguish the blaze–but I didn’t.

We watched it like it was the latest release from Hollywood.

“Hmmm,” I thought. “The axle of my limousine is on fire…”

This was the end of my reasoning.

Fortunately for us, a truck driver arrived with a fire extinguisher and put out the flames as we gradually, but bravely, inched forward.

He was also kind enough to take his “breaker-breaker” radio and get us a tow truck.

The whole back axle was destroyed.

I guess someone felt sorry for us, and the man who worked on the vehicle replaced the whole axle, put on a new tire and only charged us $150. We even found a family to stay with while it was being repaired.

It was a remarkable event.

But still, every time I hear the word “axle,” I have the instinct to run like a little schoolgirl.

 

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